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Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon,  I’m in hiding.  That pesky mutt keeps chasing me and grabbing my tail.  I picked the perfect spot.  Now he can’t find me.  Meows – I knew we were the better animal.  Signed Hide and Seek

Dear Hide and See – I hate to be the one to tell you but I can see you.  Really, the table leg hides you somewhat but I can see you.  Maybe stand sideways.  That might help.  Hey, maybe even get on top of the table.  Then I know the dog couldn’t see you… of course the humans can then though.

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Dear Bacon – The humans get to eat the most amazing things AND they don’t want to share.  There I was sitting on the dark side underneath the table and I smelled heaven above in the form of a delectable cookie.  Well when the human walked away, I made my move.  They will never miss it, right?  Signed Paws to the Dark Side

Dear Paws to the Dark Side – Good move my friend.  Very subtle.  Slide that cookie down to the dark side and eat it before anyone notices.  I think I would do the same thing!

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Dear Bacon – They call me Ninja Kitty.  The humans and other anipals here think they can get anything and everything over on me.  They can’t.  I’m always watching – always.  And they never know where I might turn up and be looking at them.  I was silently watching from the sofa area and then I heard a cheese wrapper.  Of course, I had to check it out.  That’s what any good Ninja Kitty would do – evil meows.  Signed Ninja Kitty

Dear Ninja Kitty – Dude you have skills!  That is amazing skills to have – silent and sneaky.  I only wish I could get away with some of those moves.  You go Ninja Kitty!


Dear Bacon – You know us cats love bags and boxes.  OMC – give us a bag or a box and we will play with it for hours.  Give us a toy and we will toss it to the side after a few minutes.  Why?  Because that’s what we do.  The human put this bag on the chair.  The bag jumped on the floor – honestly it did.  Of course I had to check it out… and while I’m checking it out, I’m also checking you out through the handle.  Priorities right?  Signed Mischievous

Dear Mischievous – OMP – You are so getting it my friend.  I don’t think there is a bag big enough for me to crawl into and hide without the humans knowing.  Darn this pot belly!  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.  Have fun my friend!


Dear Bacon – Do you remember the water bucket challenge?  I like to call this the kitty cat challenge.  Get in position and wait for an unsuspected human to walk out of the door and then slowly drop onto their shoulders.  You know wrap those paws around their neck and hold on for the ride.  You are sure to have some jumping around and trust me some of those humans can jump high.  Not meaning anything hurtful to the human – just testing their reflexes.. yeah that’s it.  Tell Hemi about it and see what he thinks.  I’m sure it will be fun.  Signed Reflexology

Dear Reflexology – OMP.  I can just see Hemi doing this to daddy at the front door of the Hotel Thompson.  He would se pee on himself… which could be hilarious to watch for sure. I wasn’t going to tell Hemi but I might just do it now.  Snorts with piggy laughter.  Thanks for the fun!

 
17 Comments

Posted by on 01/09/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

 

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 Dear Bacon – Who says that the grown ups get to have all of the fun in this world?  I asked for a little game system and guess what?  I got one!  AND it wasn’t even my birthday or Christmas.  My humans got it “Just Because”.  I love that day.  Have you ever had a “Just Because” day?  Signed Hammy

Dear Hammy – I think a “Just Because” day is most excellent to celebrate.  Sometimes mom treats all of us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson to that kind of day.  You know – Just Because they love us.  Those are awesome reminders of their love for us.  Maybe we should do a “Just Because” thing for them too.  If you come up with some ideas, let me know and I’ll be sure to share.


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Dear Bacon – Nope.  Not going to happen.  No way. I am not getting in the water.  Please make it go away.  Suggestions – can you help me out?  Signed Stuck in a Corner

Dear Stuck in a Corner – Sometimes one just has to do what one has to do my friend.  Sometimes all of the licking and cleaning in the world can’t get cleaned what water and bubbles can.  I was once like you – didn’t want to be near the water.  Then I found out how much fun it can be.  I say let the humans have their way.  Before you say no in defiance, let me explain.  After bath time, you usually get extra treats and perhaps something special for dinner.  You just have to.  It’s an unwritten rule in the anipal kingdom.  If it doesn’t happen, then you can torture your human in other ways.  Just sayin’.


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Dear Bacon – I have a sick human.  Really I do.  Let me tell you what these balloons are and then you can decide.  I’m a turtle.  Sometimes my human can’t find me.  Therefore, he ties these balloons around my shell to always know where I am.  Told you – shakes head.  He’s sick. Signed Humiliated

Dear Humiliated – You know my friend that’s kind of genius.  Really.  Your human always knows where you are so he knows where to feed you.  And hey, did you ever see the movie “UP”?  Maybe you can take flight with enough air in those balloons.  Happy sailing and do buckle up.


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Dear Bacon – Help us please.  The humans locked us up in the bathroom while they went somewhere.  When they got back home, they were upset over the room.  I don’t get it.  They set the room up with lots of things for us to play.  Why would they be upset?  Signed Kitty Troubles

Dear Kitty Troubles – Snorts my friends.  I’ll tell you a secret.  Those silly humans LOVE that white stuff A LOT!  They go beserk when they don’t have it in their scratch box and if we play with it here – shivers.  I say push everything in the corner.  Just leave one happy mess for your humans next time.  And don’t play with the priceless white stuff.

.


 

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Dear Bacon – My human went all teary eyed and off the edge when I got out of the box.  I don’t get it.  Why is she making such a big deal?  I went pee.  Do you see this look on my face?  I mean she went over the edge with oohh and aahhh.  Signed Mystified

Dear Mystified – I have to admit it, that’s adorable.  No really.  Not the look on your face.  Look in your scratch box.  Your ‘pee’ looks like a shape of a heart.  That’s what happened my friend.  You got your human right in the heart.  They always cry when they see hearts.  It’s cute.  I’ll have to remember that the next time I take a wizzy.  I wonder if I can make a heart?  Happy tinkling!

.

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8 Comments

Posted by on 01/02/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20140719-223146-81106311.jpgDear Bacon –  I have a slight problem here.  I’m always being watched.  Always.  It’s like I get no peace or alone time.  What can I do?  He’s watching me now, isn’t he?  Signed Helpless

Dear Helpless –  WOW!  He is watching you right this instance.  What is he writing a book – are you chapter 3?  The dude needs to leave you alone.  You need to fix this now.  Perhaps the next time he is in the other room, maybe you need to shut the door.  Or persuade him into a closet.  You know, something along those lines.  Sshheessh – a purr thing has to have their alone time.  Good luck my friend.


 

20140719-223146-81106909.jpgDear Bacon –  With the cold weather coming, I have to use anything to keep my head warm.  They say if the head is warm, your entire body is warm.  I think this is doing the trick.  I found it in the miniature human’s room.  What do you think?  Signed Cat Heater

Dear Cat Heater – My friend.  I think you might want to rethink that head warmer.  Tell me it’s new and not slightly used too okay.  You see, that is not a head warmer.  That is one of the miniature humans butt warmers.  I’ve seen them.  What happens in them is not pretty.  Not pretty at all.  Although it does have a certain appeal as apparel, I’m afraid the other purr things in the hood might just laugh you out of the neighborhood and not let you play in their kitty games.  I’m just sayin’.

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Dear Bacon – Life is not fair.  Halloween only comes but once a year and I am so very glad.  Can you believe that my humans dressed me up like a poop factory for the big day?  I’m so humiliated.  Why couldn’t they dress up the small human that cries all of the time like this?  Why me?  I mean my poop is no more than the humans.  Really.  Please help me.  Signed Poop Factory

Dear Poop Factory – I have to admit my friend that the costume is very original.  I saw a lot of costumes on the big night but I think yours might be the icing on the cake.  I say wear it with pride.  I know it’s humiliating.  But I assure you that Christmas is just around the corner.  You know what needs to be done to the Christmas tree.  You know just as a token of your appreciate for this outfit.  Snorts.


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Dear Bacon – Where there’s a bag, you know a cat is there to play.  My buddy snapped this picture of me while I was playing pop goes the kitty in the bag.  Talk about perfect timing huh?  I think my abs look better than your pot belly.  What do you think?  Signed Abercrombie Cat

Dear Abercrombie Cat – OMP (Oh my pig).  That is hilarious.  This picture is so priceless that I’m going to let the shot of my physique just go right on by.  I say bravo to you and your brother for the perfect picture taking.  I think this needs to go viral, perhaps be in a Cats of 2015 calendar or a Christmas card.  Maybe even sneak on your parents Facebook account and post this picture.  Great job my friends.  Now, I’m off to look for me an equally charming shopping bag.  I wonder if they have one with James Bond somewhere here in the Hotel Thompson.

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20140719-223146-81106515.jpgDear Bacon – For some reason, I think there is an impersonator here in the room with me.  I woke up from one of my many naps this morning, waddled into the living room and found HIM.  HIM is not talking, not purring and not moving.  I think he’s trying to wait for me to turn my back.  I just know he is.  What do you think?  Signed Chucky

Dear Chucky – Oh my!  I think you need to be careful there little guy.  It looks like HIM is preparing to pounce on you.  That could be really dangerous.  I can only imagine what kind of damage he could do to you.  Shivers.  Thank goodness HIM is not here.  Be careful.  Maybe never turn your back to him.  That’s it.  Be vigilant!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 12/26/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Sometimes you find yourself between a rock and a hard place and sometimes it’s just between two trees.  It’s all about balance in collecting these nuts for the winter time.  You do anything like this?  Signed Limber

Dear Limber,

That is some balancing act my friend.  I’m amazed at your technique.  I once saw a human nephew do this between the door jams in my bedroom.  He climbed right up using his feet like you did.  Amazing… simply amazing.  I myself do not have this talent due to my ‘amazing’ pot belly – snorts.


Dear Bacon,

You know the old song, “Who let the dogs out? – bark bark” Well, we’re tired of it.  It’s not always all about the dogs.  It’s about other anipals too.  So me and Red are trying to start a new song, “Who let the pigs out – snort snort – Who let the cats out – meow meow”.  It’s kind of catchy.  What do you think?  Signed Red and Socks

Dear Red and Socks,

I’m all in!  I like it.  It’s very catchy.  I think I’ll start singing it now my friends – snort snort – meow meow.


Dear Bacon,

The humans don’t get it.  This is MY remote.  It’s my turn for the television show that we are going to watch.  Do you have to fight for control too?  Signed Scamp

Dear Scamp,

AAWW – you need your time with the Animal Planet too my friend!  We had a battle of the wills when mom/dad adopted me.  Hey, I have my own tastes in shows and they do too.  In order to keep peace at the Hotel Thompson, they set me up with my very own television and remote in my bedroom.  Hey – now I’m in heaven!… except when they put my remote on top shelf of the book case.  That’s just mean.  Maybe ask your humans for your own set up.  You never know until you ask.


Dear Bacon,

You ever have one of those days that the only thing possibly left to do is make a face?  I find that it relieves a lot of stress in my life.  If you haven’t tried it, do.  It may make a difference.  Let me know what you find out.  Signed Puss in Boots

Dear Puss in Boots,

I have to snort on that look on your face.  That is quite humorous.  Personally, I have not tried it although I have seen such looks on my mom’s face from time to time.  I think she may be a firm believer in your stress reducing technique.  I’m off to watch myself in the mirror now to see what I look like.  Thanks for the tip pal!


Dear Bacon,

Did you mention food?  Me and my bro’s are so there.  Just let us know when/where.  Signed Husky Gang

Dear Husky Gang,

Whoa – hold back my friends.  No mention of food here whatsoever.  Nothing to see.  I do enjoy your healthy appetite and thrust for life.  Ya’ll make such a cute picture together.  And from that picture, I pick up quickly that you are the leader of your gang – snorts.  Stay alert my friend.  You’ll be the first to know if food is on the table here at the Bacon Casa.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on 12/19/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20131106-104329.jpgDear Bacon,

My human thought she would bring me to work today.  As you can tell, neither one of us got a lot of work done.  Well, my mom didn’t.  I did because her desk was the most frequented visited cubicle that day.  I wonder why?  Signed Shrimp

Dear Shrimp,

Smiles and wipes piggy eyes.  Aren’t you just the most adorable, cutest little thing I’ve seen in a while.  I just want to rub that little belly of yours.  You must have really been tired little guy.  Maybe you should do more visits to work with mommy.  I think in no time you would have all of her co-workers wrapped around your little paws!


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Dear Bacon,

I know we are suppose to be enemies but we’re not.  We are buds.  He watches my back and I watch his.  We have the most interesting conversations at our house.  Why can’t we all just get along in the world like us?  Signed Tom and Jerry

Dear Tom and Jerry,

Ya’ll have a great point.  We *should* all just get along in this world.  There shouldn’t be anything saying that we can’t because of one thing or another.  Ya’ll are setting the best example – keep up the great work my friends!


20131106-104815.jpgDear Bacon,

I was this close to freedom before they caught me and put me back in lockdown.  I could taste freedom and it tasted pretty darn good.  Any suggestions for next time?  Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,

I have to laugh buddy.  They say your kind is slow and not full of spunk but I think *they* are wrong.  You show the tenacity in making the ‘great escape’.  You were so close – how you got that far up on the fence is beyond me but way to go my friend.  Next time though, might I suggest just watching out for the gate to open.  It might be a safer way for your taste of freedom.


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Dear Bacon,

What?  Haven’t you ever seen a bird wearing a hoodie before?  It gets cold.  I don’t have a ‘fur coat’ like you do.  My feathers only provide so much for warmth.  I think it’s a great idea.  We should all have one, you think?  Signed Fun Times

Dear Fun Times,

I think it’s great!  You look warm, festive and ready to go meet the world in that hoodie.  I say don’t worry about what anyone else might think.  As long as you are warm and comfy, who cares!


20131106-104910.jpgDear Bacon,

I need help.  I know you have Bashful.  Bashful is like a happening international traveling pet rock.  My owner, he just keeps me in a cage and feeds me.  I don’t get that life of first class traveling or anything.  Any suggestions- can you help me out?  Signed Bug

Dear Bug,

I am so sorry little guy.  Your owner must not have gotten the parenting guide like I did with Bashful.  You have to have exercise.  Your owner needs to walk you or at least put a hamster wheel in your cage for exercise.  Does he take you out for social time, watching television?  Heck, if anything else, you need a friend.  You give him my number, I’ll email it back to you.  I’ll talk to him and see what we can come up with my friend.

.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 12/12/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20131113-093216.jpg Dear Bacon,

Leash training.  Well, it sucks.  I can’t go too far without the human deciding that I shouldn’t be that far.  A pig has to have his freedom!  That’s what I say.  What about you?  Signed Gotta Run

Dear Gotta Run,

Poor little guy.  Mommy *tried* to leash train me.  Let’s just say that I wasn’t a leash kind of pig either.  I’m sure with more practice, I would have adjusted but she didn’t have the will power – snorts.  Look on the other hand my little friend, they are just trying to watch after your safety.  Consider it a gesture of love. 🙂


20131113-093238.jpgDear Bacon,

HA!  This will make you think twice about stomping in that puddle outside again won’t it?  I just had to share.  You never know where my kind might jump out at you.  Consider us like clowns.  We’ll make you laugh but we are scary as heck to look at sometimes.  Signed Hide N Seek

Dear Hide N Seek,

Shivers to murgatroid!  I will never stomp my little hooves in the puddle outside in my magical backyard EVER again.  Heck, I close my eyes and still see you.  EEWW – you are like clowns – scary!!  I gotta get in therapy.  Thanks.


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Dear Bacon,

You’re not the only cute thing that rides around in your mom’s moving thingy.  I love to settle in the back seat and go for a spin.  It kind of relaxes me and helps me to go to sleep.  I think it helps my mom too to hear me go bbaaww.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny,

OMP (oh my pig).  Yes you are so right my friend.  You are the most adorable little thing.  I just want to pick you up and cuddle with you!  If my mom saw you, oh goodness, we would so have to adopt you here at the Hotel Thompson!!  Stay safe my little friend.


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Dear Bacon,

I turn my back for one minute and my tail hit my nuts off of the pole.  I think my face tells you everything.  I got make every nut count during these winter months!  Signed Flabbergasted

Dear Flabbergasted,

I’m sorry my friend for laughing but that look is priceless!  Hit me up, I’ll give you some nuts 🙂


 

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Dear Bacon,

No matter what you do in life, never give up and never surrender.  You don’t know what strengths you have until you try.  Stay strong my friend.  Signed Adam Ant

Dear Adam Ant,

Those are some powerful words my little buddy.  So true and spot on.  I will never give up and never surrender with anything in my life.  Thank you!.

 

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 12/05/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
Daddy was holding my head and kept making funny faces at me.  I thought it was only fair play that I returned at least a funny face too.  What do you think?  Signed Twisted

Dear Twisted,
OMP (Oh my pig!)  I love that face.  Humans can be so silly with us, can’t they?  They make all these goo goo gaa gaa sounds and twist their faces up.  I think it’s only time that we turn it around and do it back to them.  Fortunately, your dad had the camera on.  Great face my friend.  Thank you so much for sharing the fun!


20130724-232119.jpgDear Bacon,
Oh rawr and barks.  I read your blog and see that you are ‘trained’.  I can’t believe you let your humans do that to you.  A trained pig – barks.  Who has ever heard of that.  Signed Jolly

Dear Jolly,
Really?  Are you done now laughing at me.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that harness around your neck?  Who’s trained now barky thing?  snorts.  PLOL (Pig laughing out loud).


20130724-232145.jpgDear Bacon,
They say admission is the first step and I admit it.  I attacked the vacuum cleaner.  Well, I really don’t think it was so much of an attack as it was a jump while it wasn’t looking.  Heck, it was making way too much noise.  And to think mom yells at me when I bark!  I was just trying to get it to be quiet.  You can’t really blame me, can you?  Signed Pupattack

Dear Pupattack,
Well, what you say is true.  How can the humans get on to us and make us walk a certain line of rules and other things can’t.  Just like at the Hotel Thompson.  How come I can bark and squeal but daddy can sing off key loudly in the shower?  I think it is all in fair play.  I back you my friend.  Get the petition started.  I would sign it to get you out of that basket.  By all means – let me sign it to get you out of the cobra basket. 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
Hey, what’s up my friend?  Just chilling here in the sun.  I think you should come down under and see me.  We could have a lot of fun together.  Heck, I would even let you ride in my pouch good looking.  Signed Roolove

Dear Roolove,
You do look awfully comfortable there my friend.  So relaxed, sleepy looking from the sun actually.  Although I would love to visit and ride in your ‘pouch’, I’m afraid it might be bit of a trip for me.  Although, Bashful my pet rock is down under visiting.  Maybe you can look him up and give him a little ride.  Just be sure to please return him to his host family.


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Dear Bacon,
I love – just LOVE – doing this to Jed.  I walk up behind him and disguise my voice saying, “Guess who?”  Has anyone ever done that to you?  It’s a fun little game we play.  Do you know he still never guesses its me.  He’s a hoot.  I fool him every single time.  Do it to one of your purr things and see what happens.  Go ahead.  Signed Fool You

Dear Fool You,
That is a cute little game my friend.  I think I will tell Houdini about this and have him do it to Hemi.  That should be hilarious to see how that goes down.  I can almost picture in my mind.  I’ll be sure to try and have the camera ready for a photo opportunity.  Thanks my friend for the game.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 11/28/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20121106-070748.jpgDear Bacon,

This is my scary pose.  Does it work?  I’m trying it out on different people but all they do is laugh.  What am I doing wrong?  Signed Vicious

Dear Vicious,

I hate to say it little fellow but that is so not scary.  The only thing scary in that pose are those huge claws – now that’s scary.  You doing that pose – I just want to tickle that little belly.  I’m sure as you get older, that pose may have more of an impact.  Right now though, you’re just a cute little thing… especially with that sunlight shining on you.  Maybe lose the pose and learn to bristle up that fur a bit.  That might be scary.  Let me know my friend.


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Dear Bacon,

I need some help.  I’m not sure what is going on.  Everyone that sees me starts singing some theme song of Star Wars.  I don’t get it.  Signed Ewok

Dear Ewok,

You don’t get out much do you?  You  need to go through your master’s video collection and find one marked Star Wars.  Watch it.  Watch it closely my friend and see if you notice anything in that movie that you’ve seen before…anything that looks familiar…. anything that maybe has the same name as you.  Love the look!


 

20121106-070855.jpgDear Bacon,

I get picked on all of the time.  You’re slow they say.  I can run faster than you they say.  You’re slower than creek water running down stream they say.  Well, I have found the light and the answer!  These days, I just use my handy dandy skate board.  What do you think?  Signed Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

Dear Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

I think you look fantastic little man!  What an awesome idea that you came up with.  Can’t wait to see you television racing the big guys!  Be safe!


20121106-070939.jpgDear Bacon,

Those pesky cats in the neighborhood were running through the trees.  I thought I would chase them.  You know, just to keep up their exercise.  They got me stuck between two trees.  Have you ever seen such misery?  Signed Woody

Dear Woody,

I would not have believed it if you didn’t send a picture to me.  WOW – you are stuck between two trunks and a hard place.  Hope you got unstuck fast.  Don’t be too hard on those purr things.


20121106-071118.jpgDear Bacon,

This is us, the TMNT, in the early days.  Even then we had style.  Never give up man and always dream big – it can happen to you like it did to us.  Signed Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello

Dear TMNT,

Love you guys!  Mom said that you are making another come back.  I’ve watched some shows from the past.  I would love to be like ya’ll – can you use a pig in the mix?  I want a cool name too – just like ya’lls.  Keep safe and live prosper my new friends!

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 11/21/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
Spiders eeww.  Nobody likes them man.  I’m sorry little dude.  I saw one on the floor.  It was huge.  There was no other place to go.  The evil thing was in the doorway threatening my manhood.  I jumped on the first thing I could to get away from it.  Sink be it.  This is how my master found me.  This doesn’t make me less of a dog does it?  My fear of spiders?  Signed Sweetness

Dear Sweetness,

Well, it might take you down a couple of notches.  You’re name my take you down a few more.  You are my fellow friend are a dog.  A big dog at that.  You could have easily walked over that little spider and saved you some grace.  Unless that spider is as big as you, you are the bigger person.  Start dogging up.


 

20121120-062145.jpgDear Bacon,
Hey dude.  I read your blog all of the time.  I see people talking about yoga and I’ve seen some of the positions.  I gotta lot of stress in my life.  I thought I would try it.  WOW – it works great!  This is my zen trunk position.  It took me a long time to get the balancing together but it’s great now.  Have you tried it yet??  Signed Stingphant

Dear Stingphant,

That’s amazing!  I’m going to have to try some of these positions in my room when no one is looking, especially that Hemi.  It helps out in stress huh?  I really don’t have that much stress but I think over the holidays I’m going to try it.  I’ll keep you posted.


 

20121120-062543.jpgDear Bacon,
Who says zebras can’t be fast?  I’m tired of being the underzebra in the bush getting chased all of the time. I bought me a bike and it is the bomb!  Those pesky little cats can’t catch me anymore.  Whatcha think?  Signed Einstein

Dear Einstein,

I’m amazed!  First of all, you have the talent to ride a bike.  Second of all, I would have never thought about doing that to escape the cat.  But I do have a question.  How are you going to feel that thing up with gas when it runs out?  Just a thought to think about.  Stay safe my striped friend!


20121120-062701.jpgDear Bacon,
I love the water.  I just can’t get enough of it.  My favorite sport is water skiing.  Everyone said that due to my size that I would never be able to participate.  Well, I proofed them wrong.  Don’t let anyone say that you can’t do something.  You can.  Signed Geoffrey

Dear Geoffrey,

I’ve got to admit that if you can do that, I can do some of the things that I want to do in my life.  There’s nothing that can hold us back.  Thank you so much for the inspiration!


20121120-062807.jpgOkay pig –

You think *you* have problems with those pesky purr things.  I have problems.  My master has pet mice.  You know where I’m going.  You can’t eat the pets.  But this, this is taking things a little too far and asking me too much.  What am I to do?  Signed Heathcliff

Dear Heathcliff,

WOW – mom does walk around telling me not to eat the cats.  I don’t.  I may tug on their tails a little but it’s all out of love.  But mice hanging around the head.  Oh buddy, there’s got to be a line somewhere and that’s pushing it.  You might need to leave the room when the master has those play things out wondering around.  I can hold back a lot but that – no way!  Be strong!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on 11/14/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
I’ve read your column recommending yoga and how everyone thinks its the best thing since sliced bread. I’m not a fan. I’m not sure what this position was suppose to be but it’s not natural. I guess it’s not meant for everyone.

Signed Pretzel

Dear Pretzel,
Well, you do look like you’re a little tied up there. What’s it like to be able to kiss your own butt? Snort


20121127-004839.jpg
Dear Bacon,
So I walked into a bar and ordered a beer. What’s wrong with that? I’m of age. Why not think its strange that the bartender served me?

Why does it have to be me with a problem?

Signed Cheers

Dear Cheers,

I don’t see a problem with that. If you can (A) walk into a bar; (B) order your own beer; (C) sit at the bar and (D) drink it, I say you deserve it. I salute you!


 

 Dear Bacon,20121127-005658.jpg
Do you ever have one of those days that you don’t know if your coming/going? If you need to eat or go wizzy? I had a moment and of course my dad had to take a picture. Who knows where it will show up next on the Internet. Signed Two Birds With One Stone

Dear Two Birds With One Stone,
Hey little man, no worries. Sometimes life happens. You’re hungry and you have to go. I’ll tell you a little secret. At times when I go wizzy for mom on my piggy pad, she will feed me a carrot while I’m going. Hey, whatever you gotta do my friend for food, do it.


20121127-005153.jpg

Dear Bacon,
I’m like you. I have a short leg challenge. There’s lots of things I can’t do either because of those challenged little legs. I found the perfect solution – stilts. They do take some getting used to but hey no more short legs. You gotta get a pair of these things and try them. Signed Vertically Challenged

Dear Vertically Challenged,
You do look a lot taller. Mine would have to be taller. You know, to make room for my garage of a belly. 🙂 snort They do look like fun. I’m wondering if I could get mom to make me some for fun? I’ll keep you posted.

 

 

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 11/07/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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