RSS

Tag Archives: cobra

Dear Bacon

Dear Baconsss – My humansss say sssafety first.  I’m a truess believer in that.  Whenever we goesss out for a ride, I alwaysss buckle up.  You never knowss when you might have to make a quick stopsss.  Do you wearsss a sssafety belt during your travelsss?  Signed Seymour

Dear Seymour – Gulps.  Yes.  I do practice safety first.  But I have to say if I was traveling down the street and you pulled up next to me, I would probably also pee on myself.  I’m just being truthful.  Double Gulps.

.


Dear Bacon – The human must suffer.  It’s not bad enough that they dressed me up in cardboard but to dress me up as a cat as well.  Shaking my doggy head.  No.  They will suffer.  I foresee chewed up slippers and/or poop in said slippers in their future.  And of course this ridiculous cardboard box will be torn to shreds upon me getting it off.  That’s a promise.  Signed Pissed Pooch

Dear Pissed Pooch – Shaking my head.  OMP – I so feel you my friend.  What was your humans thinking?  Honestly – were they eating mushrooms?  Who dresses their dog up as a cat?  Looks at my mother – don’t even dare!


Dear Bacon – Okay I admit it.  Maybe – and that’s stretching maybe a long way – I watch too many war movies.  But really, who doesn’t?  It’s usually what’s on television when the humans leave to go make money to keep me in nibbles.  Some of these movies are totally awesome.  I’ll also admit that some of them can be like really scary with all of that blowing up things and loud noises.  But I digress.  So maybe I take it a little too far these days with my outfit.  But hey, why can’t us hamsters dress up too, right?  Signed Rambo

Dear Rambo – Dude, now *that* is a picture that is priceless.  I love it!  Look at you in all of your combat.  You are like the happening hamster ever!  I say there is nothing wrong with watching war movies.  And hey, if you get a little scared, there’s always crawling under a blanket or jumping on the mute button.


Dear Bacon – Humans play doctor.  Why can’t I?  That’s what I thought so I did something about it.  I put on my scrubs and got out my doggy and went to town playing.  He has a tibial shaft fracture but it is stable.  He he will survive.  Healing will take some time but he will be up and running in no time for sure.  Hey if you got it, you got it.  Do you ever play doctor Bacon?  Signed Dr. Hottie Pants

Dear Dr. Hottie Pants – Well you go there my friend.  You look better than any doctor I know for sure.  You have skills.  Everyone plays doctor.  Sometimes I still hear daddy playing doctor with mom.  It’s weird at their age though.  Keep that in mind.

 

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 01/16/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – ssss safety first is what I always hiss.  My human friend sss says the same thing.  You always buckle upsss the important things in your life when you get into the car.  Anipalsssss are no different.  Remember that my friend – ssss safety first.  Signed Mr. Slithers

Dear Mr. Slithers – Gulps – of course.  I agree strongly with you safety first.  That’s why I would *always* let you ride shot gun up front with the human – always.  In fact, I would go as far as saying I would always let you go with the human period.  I’ll just pass on this ride.  I get car sick at times anyway.  Safe travels to you and yours.  Gulps and slowly backs out of this letter.


Dear Bacon – My human must die.  There it is.  Plain and simple.  He put this stupid contraption on me and now I look like a cat.  Really?!  A cat?  That’s as creative as you can get my human?  Just wait until you go to sleep and you will go to sleep sometime.  Signed Jax

Dear Jax – Oh my piggy heavens.  Dude, your owner is very brave to dress you up like that and then to take you out in public and THEN to take your picture.  Clicking my tongue.  Yes you are right.  He must pay tonight.


Dear Bacon – That’s it.  We are ready.  It’s bad enough that we have cats chasing us around the house and inside of the house.  Now when we go out in the field, squirrels are trying to get us too.  This means war.  Bring on the hamster troops.  Cats and squirrels are going down!  Signed Troop End of Destruction

Dear Troop End of Destruction – Pardon me sir but I must ask.  Where do you find those cute little guns and fatigues??  Ok, I know you are trying to look tough but squeals with piggy excitement.  You are just way too cute to be making any havoc out there in the killing fields.  Can’t you solve this war without tragedies?  Come on.  I bet ya’ll can talk this out in a peaceful manner.  Sure  you can!  I have faith.  I can call Dr. Phil for you. I’m sure he can get you on the show.


Dear Bacon – There I was playing with Mr. Spock and all of a sudden his leg started to spontaneously shoot out white stuffing.  I’m not sure what happened but I knew we needed a medic STAT.  That’s where I jumped in with my scrubs and got to work patching up Mr. Spock.  He didn’t feel a thing during the operation.  And look, his leg will be fine in a couple of days.  It was a close call indeed Mr. Spock.  Signed Dr. Kirk

Dr. Kirk – I know that was a tough call my friend.  Thank goodness nothing beamed you up.  That would have been a tight predicament to be in and oh thank goodness you were on call for the surgery.  Can you imagine how Mr. Spock would look if you had to amputate his little leg?  The horror!


Dear Bacon – I have got to quick partying all night with the dogs in the neighborhood.  I’m not sure what people are putting in their commodes anymore.  We all went out for a few drinks and the next thing you know, I woke up like this.  Of course my friends took pictures to blackmail me with in the future.  I’m not sure what happened or what her name is.  I need help.  Really I do.  It was a ruff situation this morning doing the walk of shame.  Signed Fido

Dear Fido – Oh dude.  I would say you need therapy.  You gotta stop drinking the strange stuff in commodes.  You just never know what might be in there.  You don’t want a repeat of this night.  Oh my goodness.  Are you going to call her at least?

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 05/30/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,