Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m a clown in the circus.  I love working in the circus except for one thing – I don’t like when people squeeze my red nose.  Other than that, it’s a blast.  Signed Pancho the Donkey Clown

Dear Pancho the Donkey Clown – That’s *all* you worry about?  People squeezing your red nose?  Not your clothes, the hat or the make-up.

Just the people squeezing your nose?  Dude, go with it!  Have fun at a job you love and earn your money while you can.

Maybe one day you can move to that donkey retirement community you’ve been looking into.

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Dear Bacon – I’m a happy pooch now.  I had some problems with my teeth and my master took me to the dentist.

I am so happy with the results!  AND he put in a little bling for me.  What do you think?  Signed Smiling Pooch

❤

Dear Smiling Pooch – Well, your smile brought a smile to my face – it must be working.  You do look really happy in that picture.

And, I kind of like the bling.  Your master must really love you my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes in life, we just have to stop and smell the roses.  You know, take each day one day at a time and focus in on the moment.  I’m a lot more relaxed these days doing that.  Signed Goat of Leisure.

❤

Dear Goat of Leisure – Yes my friend.  You do look really relaxed in that floatie.  I think I may have to take some time today to enjoy the moment.  Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts.

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Dear Bacon – We have a game in the house where us purr things get into the boxes that are attached by the string.  The string is attached to the barky thing that pulls us around the house.  It’s really kind of fun.

Maybe you can use this traveling method for your purr things?  Signed Sliding Kitties

❤

Dear Sliding Kitties – Yes I think that would be perfect for the purr things here.  *I* can get in a box and *they* can pull me around the house.

Perhaps they can bow down to me as well – snort.  It does look like a fun way to travel through the house!

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Dear Bacon – It’s cold outside in this weather.  Betsy and I have been knitting and this is what we came up with.  It’s quite the hit on the farm.  It did take us a while to knit it though – it’s hard knitting with your beaks.  What do you think?  Signed Two Cold Chicks

Dear Two Cold Chicks – That is very creative.  I’m kind of digging it.  Do you think you ladies can create something for me?  I would cherish it and wear it forever!

 

Peep Show – Hint to the Bunny Rabbit

Snorts – I thought that title might get your attention – “Peep Show”. I wasn’t lying. This is a Peep show. Easter is this weekend and we have to think about those famous ever lasting Peeps. They make them in so many different colors and are wonderful! They’re just marshmallow goodness – I heart them!

You can find Peeps shaped like chicks, bunnies and even other animals. They are mainly sugar, corn syrup, gelatin and food dyes. Mommy tells me that they are 100% sugar and she actually limits me on what I can have. Can you believe that?

Hopefully the Easter Bunny – hint hint – will remember that I especially love Peeps and bring me some in my basket. Just a few. I wouldn’t want to get any cavities or anything.

.

Or hey mom – maybe we can remember Peeps the next time we cook out in the magical backyard here at the Hotel Thompson? I’ve heard they can be good over the fire too in between some graham crackers. Hint – hint

Do you like Peeps? What’s your favorite kind? I particularly like the yellow chicks… or the chocolate covered ones… or the LARGE ones… or ooohhh the Ghosts at Halloween.

Okay – I give. I LOVE THEM ALL!

 

Dear Bacon

 

Dear Bacon – Me and my friend Hazel were just out running around the hood minding our own business.  We crossed the street.  There I said it!  We crossed the street!  Humans went all weird on us and started snapping pictures.  I don’t get it.  What’s the big deal?  Signed Two Chicks

Dear Two Chicks – I don’t get it either my friend.  Shakes piggy head.  I look forward to that day where the motives are not questioned of two chicks out for a good time crossing the road and humans not going all wild laughing and pointing.  I do feel for you.  Just chill and carry on is what I say my friends…. oh and stay out of traffic might be more advice 🙂

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Dear Bacon,  I don’t get it.  I honestly don’t get it.  You see I work in a conservatory park.  Humans come by on boat rides to see us gators out in the wild.  There was this one guy that was leaning a little too far over the boat and his sunglasses fell off his head.  I was just trying to do the right thing.  I got them and was swimming closer to the boat for him to get them.  Do you know he wouldn’t reach out and get them?  What a thank you huh?  Signed The Manners of a Gator

Dear The Manners of a Gator – How ungrateful. You mean to tell me the human would not reach over the boat, into the river, onto your head and get his glasses?  What was he thinking?  Oh doh!  Maybe – and this is just a stretch here – maybe he thought you might be like one of those other gators.  You know the ones who like to bite the hand that touches them.  I’m just guessing that.  Maybe you can leave the sunglasses on the bank of the river for him to retrieve after the trip.  I’m sure he will appreciate that. Awesome job my friend!

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Dear Bacon – HA!  You see I’m there in the front – the white pooch.  We were all standing around at my buddies house telling jokes.  Who would have thought the guys would take one of my jokes so personal.  You know how us guys can be with the boys.  Someone happened to say that I wasn’t the great lover like they were.  When I told them that their mother didn’t think the same thing, they all got personal and started chasing me.  Who would have thought huh?  Signed Who Let the Dogs Out

Dear  Who Let the Dogs Out – Shakes piggy head.  Boys will be boys talking smack and getting into trouble.  You know what I say my friend?  If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.  Some people just have no room for jokes and having fun.  Keep running out first though – 🙂

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Dear Bacon – You should have been here pal!  We all planned our weekly play date at the beach with our humans.  While they talked and drunk their Starbucks coffee, we sat on the sand.  We held hands, sung kumbaya and talked about our humans.  It was great fun.  We would have loved if you could have joined us!  Signed The Great Foursome

Dear The Great Foursome – oh WOW!  That looks like so much fun my friends.  The next time I’m out your way, count me in!

 

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without YOUR pictures and letters.  Remember to email them to me for my weekly Tuesday Dear Bacon issues.  Snorts and thanks!

 

Peep Show

Snorts – I thought that title might get your attention – “Peep Show”. I wasn’t lying. This is a Peep show. Easter is this weekend and we have to think about those famous ever lasting Peeps. They make them in so many different colors and are wonderful! They’re just marshmallow goodness – I heart them!

You can find Peeps shaped like chicks, bunnies and even other animals. They are mainly sugar, corn syrup, gelatin and food dyes. Mommy tells me that they are 100% sugar and she actually limits me on what I can have. Can you believe that?

Hopefully the Easter Bunny – hint hint – will remember that I especially love Peeps and bring me some in my basket. Just a few. I wouldn’t want to get any cavities or anything.

.

Or hey mom – maybe we can remember Peeps the next time we cook out in the magical backyard here at the Hotel Thompson? I’ve heard they can be good over the fire too in between some graham crackers. Hint – hint

Do you like Peeps? What’s your favorite kind? I particularly like the yellow chicks… or the chocolate covered ones… or the LARGE ones… or ooohhh the Ghosts at Halloween.

Okay – I give. I LOVE THEM ALL!

 

 

Dear Stuart – SPECIAL ISSUE

This week, we have a wonderful guest helping out with our Dear Bacon issue.  This week, my pal Stuart is stepping in for me to do a special edition of Dear Stuart.  Be sure to visit him at his blog and check him out – let him know what a great job he did – thanks Stuart!

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Dear Stuart,
My brother never misses a photo opportunity. People think he’s so happy. What they don’t realize is that during these happy times, he is letting out gas. Sometimes they’re SBD’s (silent but deadly). What’s a dog to do on the receiving end of this happiness? Signed Not So Happy

Dear Not So Happy,
Relish in the smells of life my friend!  You never know what funny memories you might conjure up as the four-legged ones try to figure out whodunit.  Just be sure they don’t think it’s YOU who’s passing along these little morsels of love.  Think of it this way:  perhaps Pharrell passed gas when he was H-A-P-P-Y.  That made him lots of money.  Smile along with your brother and maybe pass some gas of your own!  That’s what I do and I don’t even have a brother!  ArOOO, Stuart

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Dear Stuart,
Is it safe? My human was riding their electronic broom around the house again. You know what I’m talking about. It makes a lot of noise and they say they are cleaning. I’m afraid if I get too close it will suck me up. Are you afraid of that thing? Any tips for me. Signed Scared in Black

Dear Scared in Black,
Be afraid.  Very afraid.  The electric broom goes by many aliases – Vacula, Vacooom, The Bad Machine…. they call it these things for a reason.  It WILL suck you up.  Steer clear.  I do.  Vrooom, Vrooom Stu

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Dear Stuart,
They see me rolling and they’re hating. Can’t help it that my humans trust me behind the wheel. It’s a great way to pick up chicks. Do you know of any other way? Signed Boat Magnet

Dear Boat Magnet,
Well now, you’re looking mighty macho there Boat Magnet. Sweet. Too bad I’d sink like a bag of cement if I were to accompany you on your maritime hook-up runs. One wrong move and I’d be overboard. And not in a good way. Otherwise, I’d be right there beside you. Helping you navigate toward the more demure of the feminine species.   Funny you ask if I know of any other way to attract the fair sex. Well, actually, my Shepherd friend, I don’t have to do anything at all. Just be me. That’s all there is to it. Try it. You’d be surprised. Just show your belly and they come running. Let me know how it works for you, K?  Your friend, Chick Magnet Stuart

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Dear Stuart,
I’m just not that kind or monkey. I don’t like to get wet. I wanted sushi and thought I could use this bamboo stick. Is there anything you don’t like that’s typically normal? Signed Sushkey

Sushkey! Stay outta those trees! Squirrels fall from trees sometimes where I live. I’d hate to have you take a tumble and hurt yourself. Nothing’s worth that my near-human-mammal-furiend. Not even sushi. Which I don’t like, by the way. I’m more of a vegetarian. Like you. Perhaps we should dine together in the near future? Since I don’t travel from limb to limb, you’ll have to do the Tarzan thing and swing over to my place. Green beans all the way around!  To answer your question….I typically don’t like things that others do. Guess I’m not a normal scottie?  ArOOO, Stuart

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Dear Stuart,
Why? Why does this happen to me every single time. The cat takes my bed and leaves me with something I can barely put my fanny in. What’s a pooch to do? Help please. Signed Distressed Doggy

Oh Distressed Doggy,

I feel your pain. When I have visitors sometimes, I get pushed out of my own comfort spots. But, here’s what I do. I let the intruders know that I’m NOT HAPPY. Bark at them. Nip at them. Stuff like that. The idea is, to get your peeps to think you’re going t devour the cat. And you know that’s not gonna happen. Then, you’ll get your bed back. Trust me. And if that doesn’t work? Then, well, then really eat the cat. ArOOOO! Stuart

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Remember friends – send your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

We can’t have a weekly Dear Bacon issue without YOU!

 

Dear Bacon

 

Dear Bacon,
What can I say? I’m a chick magnet. Every time I go through the park, the chicks follow me around. It kind of makes me feel like the Pied Piper but with chicks – bark. Signed The Dog

Dear The Dog,
Snorts. I have to admit that you are the dog my friend. Not only one or two chicks – you got the entire clan. Way to go. Don’t walk – strut – you are the dog!

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Dear Bacon,

Oh surprise. Do you think the kids here will be able to guess what their new toy is? Rolls kitty eyes. This is only the beginning of the torture I’m in for. It’s time to get the nails out. Signed Surprise

Dear Surprised,

Let me start by saying yes it is awful that they ‘wrapped’ the kids new toy. But then again on the other hoof, that is so funny and cute. Just think how surprised the kids will be! Snorts. But I have to tell you, you have the patience unknown to me. They even wrapped your tail! You can’t really blame the humans. I mean, you did sit still long enough and allowed them to do this to you. Snorts

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Dear Bacon,
Meow. The humans have this game called Twister. They are in awe of it. What’s funny is the woman human bought this rug from the front room thinking it was just darling and it is. But all I can do is think of their Twister game. Purr thing on blue. Just wait until I stretch to the yellow or red dots. Insert evil purr. Signed Cat Twister

Dear Cat Twister,
OMP (Oh my pig!) You are so right. That rug does look like Twister in an off strange way. That is so cool. I think you should call in the dog, the humans and others in the neighborhood to play with you. It would be outrageous!

.

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Dear Bacon,
You’re really not the only one with skills my friend. Sometimes when the humans leave up their laptop, I jump on for a few. These humans are twisted. I saw a picture of them on line and I guess my face shows you what I think. My eyes are burning. Signed Shocker

Dear Shocker,

Snorts. Sometimes my friends you should just simply leave things alone when the humans are involved. What is seen can not be unseen.

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*Remember my friends, keep your pictures and questions coming. Send them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Peep Show

Snorts – I thought that title might get your attention – “Peep Show”. I wasn’t lying. This is a Peep show. Easter is this weekend and we have to think about those famous ever lasting Peeps. They make them in so many different colors and are wonderful! They’re just marshmallow goodness – I heart them!

You can find Peeps shaped like chicks, bunnies and even other animals. They are mainly sugar, corn syrup, gelatin and food dyes. Mommy tells me that they are 100% sugar and she actually limits me on what I can have. Can you believe that?

Hopefully the Easter Bunny – hint hint – will remember that I especially love Peeps and bring me some in my basket. Just a few. I wouldn’t want to get any cavities or anything.

.

Or hey mom – maybe we can remember Peeps the next time we cook out in the magical backyard here at the Hotel Thompson? I’ve heard they can be good over the fire too in between some graham crackers. Hint – hint

Do you like Peeps? What’s your favorite kind? I particularly like the yellow chicks… or the chocolate covered ones… or the LARGE ones… or ooohhh the Ghosts at Halloween.

Okay – I give. I LOVE THEM ALL!

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

It’s really not what you think.  Honestly.  I was just surfing the net and this came up.  I really wasn’t looking for this kind of well activity.  Honestly.  Signed Captured

Dear Captured,

Let me get this straight.  Your um doggy activity just ‘happened’ to show up on your laptop… and the headphones just ‘happened’ to be on as well.  Okay my friend.  Whatever gets you through the night – snorts.

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Dear Bacon,

The humans, they insist on me wearing jammies to bed.  What we do for our humans, right?  Signed Pampered

Dear Pampered,
Enjoy it my friend.  If it makes the humans happy, then we are in a good spot.  Not a lot of others have the life that we have.  We should live it up and take advantage of all the love the humans want to throw at us.  Enjoy it!

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Dear Bacon,

Nobody knows the stumbles I’ve made in life.  I’ve got it bad.  Some days I just don’t know about my life.  I tend to ‘hit’ the can too much these days and pass out while drinking.  I think I have a problem.  Can you help?  Signed Squirrel Anonymous

Dear Squirrel Anonymous,

Admission is the first step my friend.  And you do realize that you have a lot of friends to help you through these tough times.  Life has to much to offer and you have too much to live for than to hit the can and sleep through it.  I’m sending you Journalist Rocky the Squirrel’s number.  Call him.  He will help you out.

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Dear Bacon,
You know us pit bulls get a bad rap.  They tend to categorize us all in one place saying we are mean spirited.  That’s like saying all mice are icky.  Would your mother think that about Mickey Mouse?  People shouldn’t judge all of us because of a couple of bad instances.  Don’t you think?  Signed LoveBug

Dear LoveBug,

You said it exactly my friend!  How could anyone think that you were a ‘killer’ by that picture all snuggled up in your bed with your security penguin?  Such wise wisdom that we should share with everyone in the world.  No judgements – just love!

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 Dear Bacon,

See, Bashful is not the only one that can pick up chicks.  I do too – purr.  This is my friend Gloria.  I give her rides everywhere we go.  Isn’t she pretty?  Signed Felix

 

Dear Felix,
You *are* the purr thing my friend.  That is awesome that you pick up ‘chicks’ and give them rides.  I bet you are very popular on the farm.  Have a fantastic time with your friends.

 

**Remember friends – send your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

I’m a clown in the circus.  I love working in the circus except for one thing – I don’t like when people squeeze my red nose.  Other than that, it’s a blast.  Signed Pancho the Donkey Clown

Dear Pancho the Donkey Clown,

That’s *all* you worry about?  People squeezing your red nose?  Not your clothes, the hat or the make-up.  Just the people squeezing your nose?  Dude, go with it!  Have fun at a job you love and earn your money while you can.  Maybe one day you can move to that donkey retirement community you’ve been looking into.

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Dear Bacon,

I’m a happy pooch now.  I had some problems with my teeth and my master took me to the dentist.  I am so happy with the results!  AND he put in a little bling for me.  What do you think?  Signed Smiling Pooch

Dear Smiling Pooch,

Well, your smile brought a smile to my face – it must be working.  You do look really happy in that picture.  And, I kind of like the bling.  Your master must really love you my friend!

 

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Dear Bacon,

Sometimes in life, we just have to stop and smell the roses.  You know, take each day one day at a time and focus in on the moment.  I’m a lot more relaxed these days doing that.  Signed Goat of Leisure.

Dear Goat of Leisure,

Yes my friend.  You do look really relaxed in that floatie.  I think I may have to take some time today to enjoy the moment.  Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts.

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Dear Bacon,

We have a game in the house where us purr things get into the boxes that are attached by the string.  The string is attached to the barky thing that pulls us around the house.  It’s really kind of fun.  Maybe you can use this traveling method for your purr things?  Signed Sliding Kitties

Dear Sliding Kitties,

Yes I think that would be perfect for the purr things here.  *I* can get in a box and *they* can pull me around the house.  Perhaps they can bow down to me as well – snort.  It does look like a fun way to travel through the house!

 

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Dear Bacon,

It’s cold outside in this weather.  Betsy and I have been knitting and this is what we came up with.  It’s quite the hit on the farm.  It did take us a while to knit it though – it’s hard knitting with your beaks.  What do you think?  Signed Two Cold Chicks

Dear Two Cold Chicks,

That is very creative.  I’m kind of digging it.  Do you think you ladies can create something for me?  I would cherish it and wear it forever!