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Tag Archives: Chia pet

Mom You’re Killing Me Here

 

Mommy ordered a bunch of ‘stuff’ from Amazon lately.  Everything is starting to come in now by mail.  I’m just going to throw this out there.  Mom needs help.  A lot of help.  I think she has finally went over the fine line of insanity.  You don’t believe me do you?

Look at exhibit A to the left.  This is one of the ‘things’ she has ordered lately.  Shakes my piggy head.  What is she trying to do to me – kill me?  I can only roll my piggy eyes so much – snorts.

And I have to remind mommy.  She kills grass.  Literally – she can’t grow anything.  How does she expect this chi-chi chiapig to grow with that insane hair?

I need some help my friends.  I think mom may need a intervention.  Any suggestions?

 
48 Comments

Posted by on 09/12/2014 in Bacon

 

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Dear Sammy – Special Edition

Today, we have a very special Dear Bacon issue – it’s called Dear Sammy. My cousin Sammy is going to fill in for me today and do his own edition. Be sure to go visit Sammy when you get a chance and tell him what a great job he did. Thanks cousin!!

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20140414-092942.jpgDear Sammy,

This is what I’m talking about. See, I’m so tough that the big kitties act like I’m not even there. They don’t mess with me, even when I growl at them. Can you control big cats too? Signed Ferocious Kitty

Dear Ferocious Kitty

I think you are obviously handling the big kitty situation at your house just fine. I can tell by the way those big cats are walking right by and NOT looking at you that they are truly intimidated by your presence. They hear your growl of warning and just keep on walking. You are destined for greatness – they already made the “The Lion King” but I’m thinking perhaps you could star in “The Ginger and White King”? Can I be your agent?.

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20140414-092953.jpgDear Sammy,

There’s nothing to see here. Really. I’m just massaging the dogs face. Yep. That’s it. Really. Signed Face Stomper

Dear Face Stomper

I’m not sure if that dog is so drugged up from whatever operation he had that caused him to have to wear the Cone of Shame that he doesn’t FEEL you there or if you truly are performing some kind of facial massage. But he doesn’t seem to mind either way so I say GO FOR IT. I’ve never been *that* close to a woofie before but ‘more power to ya’ is what I say.

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Dear Sammy,
Help. I’ve been mugged. The humans here have such a whacky sense of humor. What am I to do? Signed Puppy Mugged

Dear Puppy Mugged,

If I was in a bar (which I’m not) and I ordered a brewski (which I wouldn’t) and they served me with a mug full of adorable puppy like you, I’d be pretty darn happy (as long as I could train you to meow instead of bark of course). However, I would NOT leave the barmaid a tip. When a guy orders a brewski, he does not expect it to have eyes looking back at him!

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20140414-093021.jpg Dear Sammy,
Oh dear Lord. I am not a chia dog. The humans found this get up and took advantage of it. Help. Please. Signed Chi-Chia Dog

Dear Chi-Chia Dog

After I finally stopped laughing, I realized the only way to improve on this outfit would be if your humans had put orange sneakers on your feet… the non-clay-colored feet ruin the effect! I think your humans are si-si-si-silly!

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Dear Sammy,
Look closer. To the left. Down a bit. There you go. Signed #1 Hide and Go Seek

 

Dear #1 Hide and Go Seek

This is totally CUTE… but the more I thought about it the more I realized why it sort of creeped me out too… why? Because it almost looks like your little head is coming OUT of that bear’s belly (think “Alien”)!!! See what I mean? EEEEEEKKKK!!

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Remember friends – send your pictures and questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com – thanks so much!

 
65 Comments

Posted by on 04/22/2014 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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I Want a Pet Too

 

Everyone in the family has a pet of their own.  The purr thing Hemi has the purr thing Mouse.  The purr thing Mouse has daddy.  Mom has me.  I’m the low one on the totem poll and I don’t have a pet – pouts.  I want a pet – whine! 

I started thinking, I don’t have thumbs so I can’t necessarily ‘take care’ of a pet.  I don’t have money to support a pet and I can’t get a job – the horrors of that!  And, I don’t have a lot of time to give to a pet because well we all know that I have to get my love on with mommy.  So, it has to be something that kind of takes care of itself.

20130218-210157.jpgI found some possibilities.  

There always a chia pet pig.  You water it and I think I can do that if you know what I mean – PLOL (Pig Laughing out Loud).  It would be kind of awesome and neat to have in my room.  I could call it Bacon Jr. or Mini Me 🙂  Mom would only have to help me get it started.  Just think of the possiblities.  If this worked out, I could have a room full of chia pets looking like different things.  It would be a hoot!  Definitely a possibility.

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And here’s a blast from the past (well, that’s what mom said).  Sea Monkeys!  Again, mom would have to help me get started but then it’s on.  I could watch these little Sea Monkey’s grow in their little container.  The package says its hours and hours of entertainment.  Mom says that is just a marketing gimmick and don’t believe it.  Once you’ve seen one Sea Monkey, you’ve seen them all.  Dad said I would have to borrow his magnifying glass to see them.

Okay, so maybe a pass on the Sea Monkeys.  I kind of want something I can interact with.  Something I can move.  It seems that Sea Monkey’s don’t like to live out of water.  I could ‘water’ them but I think mom would go for that idea.  So, on to something else.

 

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Then I found the Furby.  Dad said that mom actually had one several years ago.  It talks and interacts with you.  That’s kind of cool.  It picks up phrases – I wonder if I can make it learn to snort?  Down side though, the packaging states it has a mind of its own.  Uh oh – we may have a problem Houston.  I need to think for the both of us.  I don’t want something talking back to me, the master of the house.  And, dad says you have to use your fingers to ‘feed’ it.  I’m out there.  I have hooves, no fingers to feed it.

Shucks – on to something else that might be a possiblity.

 

 

Then, as I was surfing, I found it!  The perfect pet for me.  Something that doesn’t require a lot of maintenance.  Something does’t care if I’m a pig with hooves.  Something that doesn’t talk back to me.  Something that will listen to me and hopefully mind.  Something that doesn’t eat.  Something I can touch and not worry about hurting.  Something I can take to bed with me like my security blanket.  Heck for that matter, mom can fix it a little bed next to me. 

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See, I told you – the perfect pet for me.  It’s even my color!  I can still call it Mini Me.  It’s even pig headed like I am.  I think it would be awesome as a pet.

AND, mom and dad approve.  As soon as they can, they promise me they will get me my very own pet rock.  I *so* can’t wait.  I will definitely keep you updated on my adventure with my new love.

 

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 03/04/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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