31 Days of Spook – Breakfast Anyone?

So I get up this morning and mom is going to fix me breakfast which is awesome because it’s not even the weekend.  I mean I get Cheerios during the week.  On the weekends, mom fixes me eggs or pancakes – a pig’s favorite.  So there she is cooking this morning and then all of sudden she stops singing and gets all quiet.  She gets my piggy plate, looks at me, looks down, looks at me and then looks down.  Come on mom – give this pig his breakfast.

Then when she did I was like not hungry anymore.  THUD piggy down – You want my eggs? 

 

31 Days of Spook – Breakfast Anyone?

So I get up this morning and mom is going to fix me breakfast which is awesome because it’s not even the weekend.  I mean I get Cheerios during the week.  On the weekends, mom fixes me eggs or pancakes – a pig’s favorite.  So there she is cooking this morning and then all of sudden she stops singing and gets all quiet.  She gets my piggy plate, looks at me, looks down, looks at me and then looks down.  Come on mom – give this pig his breakfast.

Then when she did I was like not hungry anymore.  THUD piggy down – You want my eggs? 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – My mom holds my trunk every time we go out on walks.  It’s so embarrassing.  I like to think that I’m a big elephant now.  I don’t need to hold hands.  Does your mom make you do these things too?  Signed Mommy’s Boy

Dear Mommy’s Boy –  I hate to tell you this my friend but we will always be mommy’s baby regardless if we are two or a hundred and two.  That’s the way it is.  I wouldn’t worry what anyone else thinks of your situation.  One day when your mom is gone, you will wish for these days again.  So I tell you, enjoy your mom holding your trunk.  Love every minute of it and hey why don’t you hold her trunk for a change.  You can tell your friends that’s the case.  You are protecting your mother and helping to guide her.

---

Dear Bacon – This means war.  All day every day.  You do know what I’m talking about, right?  I refuse to become a chicken nugget.  I’m a rebel with a cause.  I’m the extreme free range chicken.  Unite with me and stand with the cause.  Signed Rebel with a Cause

Dear Rebel with a Cause – I’m so with you.  I would stand beside you for your cause.  I would even add my cause.  I refuse to be a pork meal in any shape or form from bacon to pork chops and anything in between.  If we don’t stand up for our rights,ele who will?  I say we have a meet up at Old McDonald’s Farm on Highway 42 at midnight to talk about our stand.  I’ll start making posters and hanging them in all of the fast food restaurant bathrooms ASAP.
.

.

---

Dear Bacon – There we were at the local bar mingling when we ordered a drink called the Blue Calypso.  Were we surprised when it came to the table.  Oh my hamsters – it had a garnish that was alive and swimming.  We didn’t know whether to drink it, play with it or tip it.  What say you?  Signed The Twins – Adam and Bubba

Dear Adam and Bubba – Now *that* is a surprise my friends.  I’m with you.  What to do?  Well, you can’t drink/eat the tyke now.  You’ve been introduced and are on friendly terms now.  And on the other hoof, if you leave him, someone else will take care of your problem in a bad way.  I say, ask him to come home with you to keep him safe.  Wouldn’t that be fun to have an extra room-mate?   He does look kind of cool and just think of how much trouble ya’ll can get into.  I bet he would even be great at charades.

.

.

---

Dear Bacon – There is always that one person in the hood that is your arch enemy.  So yes I have eaten little more lately than usual.  It’s summer. It’s hot.  There’s nothing else to do but eat.  Maybe perhaps I shouldn’t have eaten that last dog biscuit.  I went outside to take care of some business and while coming back in I got stuck in a compromising position.  I swear someone shrunk my doggy door.  And then there is that one friend-enemy that snuck up behind me and drew a happy face on my butt.  Really?  Don’t push me and help guy out, embarrass him instead.  What an idiot.  When I get out of this position, he is so going to pay.  What do you think?  Signed Two Faced

Dear Two Faced – Give me a second to gain my composure.  I’m not laughing at you.  I’m laughing with you at the situation.  It could very well be this little porker stuck in the doggy door.  While your friend-enemy was drawing on your butt perhaps you should have told him to kiss while he was back there.  At least he wasn’t talking behind your back – snorts.  And don’t worry, I’m sure you will get even.  You know what they say about karma – it goes around  Don’t forget that okay.

.

---

.
Dear Bacon – Julia Child – nope.  Emeril – nope.  Bobby Flay – nope.  I’m the original Chef Wolf Dog Gang. Since graduating from the CICC (Culinary Institution of Canine Cooking), I can’t stay out of the kitchen.  Not only can I bring home the bacon (sorry pal) but I can cook it up in the pan.  Friends in the hood come from all over to taste some of my creations.  You can often find me shopping in gardens around the house and coming up with such masterpieces as Hot Dog Casserole, Mutt Balls with Brown Rice, Doggy Lasagna and Chicken Backlash.  They are all must haves and I hope to market them soon.  When I get my cooking channel up, I would love for you to be my first guest.  Signed Chef Wolf Dog Gang

Dear Chef Wolf Dog Gang – That is totally awesome that you picked up a hobby that is also a career.  You know what they say about if you enjoy and love your job, you will never work a day in your life.  Keep up the great work and hey can  you send me some Mutt Balls with Brown Rice?  That sounds fantastic!  Oh and I would love to be your first guest as long as well you know… I’m a guest and not the guest of the meal if you know what I mean – snorts.

.

---

.

REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *YOU*  Keep your pictures and questions coming by sending them to me on my email address.

---

 

Now *That* is a Dilemma

I need help.  Stop laughing.  I really need help.  I’m in a piggy dilemma.  Me and mom are both feeling the same way.  Have you ever felt hungry and wanted something but you just didn’t know what you wanted?  You have choices – lots of choices.  You pick one and afterwards you’re like ick.  It just didn’t stop the craving… not that you’re craving anything particular.

Mom and dad go through this scenario all of the time here at the Hotel Thompson.  It goes something like this.  Mom – “What do you want to eat?”  Dad – “I don’t know, you?”  Mom – “You want mexican?”  Dad – “Not so much, you?”  This back and forth of suggestions goes on what seems like hours.  And then dad will finally say, “I don’t care, whatever you want to do.”  This is usually followed up by mom saying, “Whatever you want to do.”  For Pete’s sake – can those two humans make a decision?  Snorts.

So then mom will toss a salad.  I’m good with a salad but then afterwards we are all like, “Hhhmm, that really didn’t hit the spot.”  This can go on for days!  What are we to do?  What do you do?   So you see, that’s why it’s a dilemma.

We are all foodies here at the Hotel Thompson.  We take our food serious.  Life is way too short not to.  Heck, mom is not one of those girly girls that can eat a Saltine cracker and be filled for days.  I’m proud of mom for being an eater.  But what do you do when you don’t know what will hit “the spot?”

I think personally we may have one way to solve this dilemma.  Go with me on this.  If we had a full time CHEF that was on staff here at the Hotel Thompson at our beck and call that fed us our meals, we wouldn’t have this back and forth what do you want for dinner situation.  Mr. Chef would just whip up his specialties and serve us.  We wouldn’t have to cook therefore it would be awesome.  Cause you know, food *always* tastes better when someone else cooks it.  Am I right?

And of course, we would ALL be happy – especially this oinker.  Because then I would have a 24X7 beck and call chef.  OH that’s right.  I already do in mom and dad – snorts.  But really, what do you think?  Wouldn’t it be totally awesome?

I wonder if dad would go for this?  hhmm – I gotta go leave some clues around the Hotel Thompson.  Maybe eventually by 2025 he’ll get the hint.

Happy Eating my Friends!!  P.S.  Whatta you having tonight for dinner?

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
They always say that grass is always greener on the other side.  Well, I stuck my head through the fence to look at the other side.  And you know what?  It doesn’t look greener.  Can you hear what I’m saying pig?  It does *not* look greener.  Signed Mythbuster Goat

Dear Mythbuster Goat,
Thank you for letting me know that.  I’ve always wondered about the grass being greener on the other side.  I just never knew what the other side was.  Now I do.  You’ve helped *me* out so very much. 

.

.

Dear Bacon,
What?  I’m only helping my brother out in getting all of the crumbs on the bottom of the bowl.  Really?  Cause you know all of the good stuff is on the bottom of the bowl.  Honestly.  Signed Chef Paw

Dear Chef Paw,
I will take your word for that.  Take it from an expert who is used to getting all of his crumbs, it’s much easier just to flip the bowl over.  That way, you can get some of the crumbs as well.  Just a tip my friend….and thank goodness your brother wasn’t drinking water.

.

.

Dear Bacon,
I was having a dream that I was fixing to eat the biggest hot dog in the entire world.  It look so delicious.  I could almost taste it.  Then I woke up cause I bit my paw.  What a let down.  Do you ever dream of eating food?  Signed Dog Dreams

Dear Dog Dreams,
Snorticles.  Do I ever have those dreams – snorts.  That’s like asking me if I’m hungry.  Of course I have those dreams.  I can’t say though that I’ve ever tried to eat a paw or hoove.  My legs are too short to reach my mouth – thank goodness!That must have been a mighty good dream my friend.

.

.

Dear Bacon,
Where are the clothes pins when you need them?  Sometimes I just need a few to pin back the wrinkles on my head.  That way, maybe my tongue wouldn’t fall out of my mouth when I’m sleeping.  You think?  Signed Rip Van Pup

Dear Rip Van Pup,
I feel you my friend.  I totally feel you.  Sometimes when I sleep, everything wonders into their own zipcode.  My mom feels the same way.  All it means though is you are totally relaxed and comfortable in your environment.  That’s a good thing. 

.

.

Dear Bacon,
Bottoms up!  I saw the pictures you had of Bashful at Tybee Island last October.  They really intrigued me.  I thought I would stick my head in the ocean to see if I could find Sponge Bob and Patrick.  I didn’t see them but got a lot of water in my trunk.  And by the way, does this ocean make my butt look big?  Signed Scubaphant

Dear Subaphant,
I’m so sorry little guy.  Bashful saw Spongebob at Tybee last year because they were doing a movie on the island.  I think afterwards he went back home to Hawaii.  But I say, keep looking cause you never know where he might wash up on shore.  As far as your butt, it looks just fine.  I only wish mine was that cute!

.

Friends – don’t forget to send your questions and pictures to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
Hey, I’m just trying to help out here around the house. The humans said I don’t pull my weight. That’s all I’m doing – trying to help out with the everyday chores. I thought I would help out with dinner. I’m sure it will taste like chicken – evil bark. Signed Chef Boy Ring Dog

Dear Chef Boy Ring Dog,

Step away from the stove my friend. Purr things are not made for eating. They are made for loving. Trust me, they do not taste like chicken. I’ve licked our purr things here at the Hotel Thompson. They taste nothing like chicken. Not even good. You don’t want any of that. Go find you some kibbles. Now that’s a meal.

 

Dear Bacon,
I know you have a lot of horsey friends. Can I be your friend to? I think we have some similar markings. I’m hoping that you can help me out with a problem I have. Am I a black horse with white spots or am I a white horse with black spots? Signed Confucius Spots

Dear Confucius Spots,

I would love to be your friend! I’m so touched that you asked. As for your problem. Does it really matter? All that *does* matter is that you know you are beautiful either way. I mean that from the heart – You are stunning – just stunning my new friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
What can I say, I’m a thrill seeker. Anything to get my heart pumping, I just LOVE to do. I know it drives Old McDonald over the edge here at the farm. I can’t help it though. Don’t you just love the excitement? Signed Evil Cowknivel

Dear Evil Cowknivel,

My friend, there is excitement and then there is excitement. Personally, I find it exciting just walking to the front room from my bedroom without getting the wrath of Hemi slapping my hind quarters. But, each to their own ways. Try not to give Old McDonald a heart attack in some of your activities. And heck, if you are going to take a risk, start charging admission so at least you can help the farm out. You know? Carry on my friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
I’m trying to ‘bulk’ up. My friends say I’m skinny and scrawny. Do you think it’s working? Signed Squirt

Dear Squirt,

Oh little guy, give it some time. You will grow into all of that fur. You don’t need to lift weights to do that. And tell your friends to quit bullying you. There is no room for bullying in this time and age – NONE WHATSOEVER. You are just fine the way you are.

 

Dear Bacon,

Who says that skateboarding is just for guys and the humans. If I want to burn the roads up, why can’t I? Everyone says it’s just a guy sport. Why? Who makes up these rules? Chicks rule – we should make up the rules, right? Signed Atonia Hawk

Dear Atonia Hawk,

I’m not arguing with that, really I’m not. I’ve seen my human mom do some amazing guy things. I say if you are good at, then practice makes perfect. Don’t take any flack – show them whatcha got my furry friend!

 

 

Remember Friends – Keep sending your pictures/questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Halloween Ideas Continued

I have to admit that I have some of the best friends in the world that a pig can have.  Lots of my friends have sent me in suggestions for Halloween as well as pictures.  I love it!  Please keep them coming.  If you don’t have my private email, it is BaconThompson@gmail.com

This comes straight to me so it doesn’t bother mommy.  Keep sending the suggestions, ideas and comments my friends.  Thanks!

Take my friend Bubba here to the left.  His mommy has a great mind.  What better idea than to dress him like the Great Pumpkin, AKA HogALantern.  I mean, heck we are *build* for that!  Snort.  I’m not sure if it is his markings or his costume but he’s kind of got a KISS look going there with his eyes.  You remember the old rock group?  Daddy has played some of his music for me.  And… I have been known to watch Gene Simmons on his television show Family Jewels. 

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

And I absolutely LOVE this idea and it has a cape! 

PIGULA

You know how I am about my capes.  With all the Twilight, Vampire Diaries and other shows, this would be a hit.  Maybe mom can decorate my bedroom like this for Halloween.  That would be a kick!

 

 

PS – Don’t you *love* the names on the tombstones.  What a genius! 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

Money hog! 

This is a great idea but I’m not thinking that I could wear this outfit the entire night and not lose that cute little hat.  And, on the other hand, I don’t think mom or dad will let me borrow the money to display.  Maybe if I can find some Monopoly money it would work. 

It’s definitely a cute idea.

 

 

  —————————————————————————————————————————————————-

 

As much as I help mom out in the kitchen, this picture cracked me up!  Chef Pig – what a hoot!  I think I have even resembled that picture with all of the spaghetti everywhere.  Doesn’t every kid have a spaghetti picture in their photo album somewhere? 

I think mom could manueaver a chef’s hat and a red/white print towel around me.  It would be kind of fun to play with this.

 

Chef Assistant

So lately I’ve become moms chef assistant in the kitchen. I love the nights when she lets me in the kitchen to help her with dinner. We go in and she makes the yummiest smelling things. Of course she makes me leave if she goes into the oven but it’s only for a few minutes.

She calls me her little sous chef. I call myself the cleaner. 🙂 For example, she chops up celery and I get to taste a few samples. (by the way, celery is a new thing for me. It was great!). When she chops up carrots or apples, I also get to taste a few. 🙂 And the other night was my favorite. Mom made homemade French fries and of course washed and peeled the potatoes. Guess who got to clean up all of the peels? Another new food that was wonderful. And yeah, I got to sample a couple of fries too. Snort.