Oh my friends I have another great story submission for you today. This one is from our friend Fozzie in Australia. Happy rocking – insert evil snorts.
“When I came home from hospital with Rhiannon..(some 30 odd years ago), we lived in a small two bedroom flat. Bradley, our eldest, was in his own room and Rhiannon slept in a cot in our room. She must have been about a month old when this happened.
We had in our room an old white wicker chair, you know the type that belongs on a porch under the shade of a wisteria. This chair was my grandmas (she was still alive at the time of this incident). Now the story went my grandma and her sister had some to and fro’s over who got to have this chair..and as it happened my grandma got it.. her sister is now deceased. I always loved it and my grandma was happy to give it to me. And so it sat in the corner of our bedroom..
One night I was woken with the fright of my life. As I lay on my side asleep, I felt a hand grab my shoulder! I sat bolt upright frozen. Phil was fast asleep. Rhiannon fast asleep. Me wide awake and terrified!
I woke Phil and made him get up to check the flat all over…nothing. I went back to bed..but not to sleep. This happened again for the next three nights. I was terrified so badly that I went to my doctor.
I told him I was sure I was losing my mind,such a violent grab and yet nothing! My doctor, such a cool young guy he was, simply said to me, ““There’s a lot more to life than what we think. You aren’t nuts, just experiencing something you are not tuned to.”
Eventually, I relaxed a bit more and the grabbing stopped…after I politely asked it to stop as I was needing sleep…since then I have lots of special things happen. Life indeed is a weird and mysterious journey.”
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I’m sorry mom and dad. I couldn’t resist this. I heard you both get up from the couch this morning. There was more snapping and cracking go on that for a minute I thought daddy had some cereal on the counter.
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Dear Bacon – One good thing about having small humans around the house, they have the neatest toys. Take for instance this cute little rocking chair. Of course, the little human has it for her so called dolls but I fit perfect in it. And you know what they say, “If it fits, you must sits”. Barks! Do you sit in chairs? Signed Rocker Doggy
Dear Rocker Doggy – That is totally cute pal. I have been known to sit in chairs. And don’t let humans fool you. Us piggies we can climb. I once climbed the kitchen chair to get in the seat. Of course, I had an extra motive to do so. There was a bag of kitty chow in it and I wanted some food – snorts. So yeah little buddy, I have sat in a chair but I looked nothing as adorable as you!
Dear Bacon – There is *always* that one friend of yours that does not know the word boundaries. Here I was acting all cute and the master was going to take my picture. It’s not bad enough that darn pooch photo bombed me but he has to hug me and lick me… eeww doggie cooties at its finest. Now I’m infected with dog gross. This is going to require many, MANY hours of grooming. Please make him stop and go away. Hey, I got an idea. Can I mail him to you? You already have a semi-zoo going on there at the Hotel Thompson. They wouldn’t notice one more, would they? Signed Kitty Cooties
Dear Kitty Cooties – Oh dear piggy heavens. That is one hilarious picture. Just remember my friend, I’m not laughing AT you. Not at all. I’m laughing at the situation. It seems to me that you got a great pal there with that doggy. Have you thought about that? I bet he is so protective of you that it isn’t funny. Just think that this could be productive and come in handy in the future of anyone picking on you. He could lick them and infect them with
cute cooties. And hey, the zoo is now full here. Daddy has said so. There are more anipals than humans and we rule the roost… we just let daddy think that he does – snorts and good luck!
Dear Bacon – It is gotten bad that a bun-bun has to do their own shopping now out in the neighborhood. That’s okay though. I take my little buggy and I hit the nearest garden for my collecting of tasty carrots. They are so delicious! I get enough to fill the buggy, go back home and hide them in my cage. Hey – it’s what I do. Do you like carrots too? Signed Shopping Bun
Dear Shopping Bun – Do I like carrots? That’s like saying, “Do you like to breathe?” I absolutely ❤ carrots. They are one of my favorite veggies in the entire world. I snack on them throughout the day – small ones, big ones, orange ones, yellow ones – all of them are tasty to me. And hey, if you are shopping on your own in the neighborhood gardens, just think of the other tasty morsels you can find too. If you come across watermelon, let me know. That’s my number 2 favorite food 🙂 Happy shopping!
Dear Bacon – Say it with me now when I hit the key, “mmmm”. I’m practicing the Meow Mix song so I can be in the next commercial. Do you think I have a chance? Signed Kitty Tune
Dear Kitty Tune – I say go for it my friend. What do you have to lose? I say if that doesn’t work out for you, try America’s Got Talent or American Idol. And if they don’t work out remember this. YOU are always a winner in my book. Look at you tickling those ivories. You go play my friend and have a blast doing it.
FRIENDS – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please email me your pictures and letters 🙂
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Dear Bacon – Practice this look my friend. This is the look that will get you everything and anything from your humans. One wink and they melt. Use this advice with caution though. If you wink, your humans may get all goo-goo, pick you up and kiss you all over. Signed Winks
Dear Winks – What an awesome gift buddy. I’ll have to practice this in my bedroom in the mirror to get it down pact. I can’t wait to try it out on my mom and Nana. Happy winking!
Dear Bacon – The proof is in the picture. This is me helping out Santa last year. You see Santa has all of the humans to deliver presents too and he needs help. Me and about 500 of my friends help Santa out with the Christmas deliveries to anipals. They believe too. Of course some of them get on the naughty list more so than humans – ha! So keep on believing my oinker friend. Signed Santa’s Helpers
Dear Santa Helpers – I do BELIEVE my friends. I’ve heard Santa on my roof. I’ve heard his boot steps in the living room. AND I’ve seen Santa kissing my mommy last year at our Christmas Mickey Mouse pole lamp. He is real! And us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson really, REALLY try to stay on the good list. Nobody wants coal in their stockings on Christmas morning. Nope. Not here. Carry on with your awesome job my friends!
Dear Bacon – Stop everything. I gotta know. What does a squirrel have to do to get a gig like that Journalist Rocky the Squirrel that lives in your backyard. Dude, he has it made from what I can read. He lives rent free at your Hotel. Ya’ll give him nuts throughout the year. He’s off limits for the dogs in the hood. AND he gets to write on your blog. What do I have to do for that position? Signed Job in Need
Dear Job in Need – Journalist Rocky the Squirrel is a very special squirrel with talents. He has an awesome resume and has worked all over the south. Rocky also knows several different languages from chitter-chatter to English to pig Latin and he also speaks Squatch. Squatch comes in handy when our local Bigfoot comes out to play. Send us your resume and we will pass it along to Rocky. Perhaps he can forward somewhere for you. 🙂
Dear Bacon – This is a new campaign I’m putting out there. “Paws out to Animal Abuse”. We all have to make a stand. Animals are meant for loving not harming. Can you help me pass the word my friend? Signed Just Say NO to Abuse
Dear Just Say NO to Abuse – I’m all in with four hooves my friend. I’ll even throw in my part and say, “Hooves out to Animal Abuse”. Animals have feelings and should never be harmed. It makes my mohawk stand up straight on edge when I hear stories of my fellow anipals in harm. We have nothing but love to give to humans and in turn that’s all we want from them. Great cause my friend – stand strong!
REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please remember to send me your pictures and letters – thanks!
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