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Don’t Mind Me

Piggy coming through – don’t mind me daddy. You just keep playing that Angry Bird game thingy that keeps you so entertained.  No problems here – nothing to see.  Just a piggy coming through around your back region.  Don’t worry.  I usually don’t get on your sofa – wanted to check it out.

Just checking for crumbs or anything good to eat up here.  I see the purr things doing this and thought I would try.  To tell you the truth.  I don’t know what the big deal is. There is nothing up here.  I mean zip.  But that’s okay. I licked the sofa arm a couple of times to make sure.  Don’t freak out if it’s a little wet.  It’s just a little bit of my piggy saliva – no biggie.  It will dry – I’m sure of it!

I’m going to jump down now off of this arm.  Maybe if you tie a rope around me, I can bungee jump.  Nope – you’re too busy?  Okay mom – put that camera down STAT and get.me.down.

 
45 Comments

Posted by on 09/03/2014 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,

I have the subject locked and loaded. It’s just a matter of seconds now before this powerful machine takes off, leaps and catches his prey. I have the skills of a ninja. I’m silent and deadly. You’ll never see me coming. Do you have this kind of talent pig? Signed Sniper One

Dear Sniper One,

I’m shaking here at the Hotel Thompson in my hooves. WOW – that is some talent you have there. I’m amazed. I’m almost speechless. What was your prey? A fly? Oh I know… a piece of dust? Snorts. I don’t need to have ninja skills, or be silent to be deadly. I just need cuteness. Insert evil deviled ham snort. Carry on my friend.

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Dear Bacon,

I think my wife has some explaining to do. You see we got married, I had to leave for some business. I came home and there was our “baby”. I think the baby *looks* like us but is not us in some way, fashion or form. I don’t think it’s his coloring – that matches. I don’t think it’s that cute little nose – that matches. I can’t put my paw on it but I don’t think he’s mine. I think I may need to call Maury Povich for a DNA analysis. You think? Signed Mr. Rabbit

Dear Mr. Rabbit,

All that matters is love my friend. So he’s different, so what? I’m different than my mommy and daddy too. Doesn’t mean they don’t love me just the same. What’s done is done. That’s why the past is in the past. Just because something doesn’t look like us doesn’t mean we can’t love them with all of our heart.

.

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Dear Bacon,

They say that grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I tried to see. I got stuck. Awesome huh – NOT. I don’t get it. I’m an alligator. I’m stuck half way up a fence. A human sees me. What do they do? You would think help but no – let’s pull out that camera phone and take a picture of the gator stuck on the fence. Dude, if I was off this fence, I’d show them where to put that camera phone. Signed Stuck in Mid Flight

Dear Stuck in Mid Flight,

Snorticles. Really dude… I’m not snorting *at* you. I’m snorting at the situation. Let’s look at this for just a tiny minute. You said quote, “If I was off this fence, I’d show them where to put that camera phone.” That’s rich. That’s probably WHY they didn’t help you out. They were simply afraid of you. I know – I know. You can’t really blame them. They don’t see you as the cuddly, loveable snuggable type. They see teeth, nails, teeth, long tail, teeth and massive power strength. Shrugs piggy shoulders. That’s how it is dude. I do hope you got off the fence. I’m sure eventually someone did help, right? Stay strong my anipal.

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20140507-085302.jpgDear Bacon,

I’ve been holding back in writing to you but I have this huge mystery. See, my human took this picture of me back when it was Winter. I saw this cute poodle in the hood. I went up to say hey, but she didn’t *smell* like a regular pooch? It was weird. What do you think? Have you ever seen this chick before? Signed Pugalicious

Dear Pugalicious,

Step back from the poodle my friend. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but that poodle is nothing but cold and made of ice – snorts. Really. She’s snow my friend. You know that white stuff that falls from the sky during Winter. Some human made a poodle chick to fool you. She is kind of cute though. Look at the tail on her – hubba hubba.

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20140507-085323.jpgDear Bacon,

It’s love. Simple as that. We have found our significant other and we are in love. We have read on your blog in the past about when two half hearts find each other and they melt together forming one it’s meant to be. We looked in each others eyes and it was like we knew all about each other and felt so at home. What can we say? Signed Two Kids in Love

Dear Two Kids in Love,

aaww – That picture tells me *everything* I need to know. You two were MADE for each other in every way possible. Carry on and live long!

.

*****************************************************************

Remember to send your questions/pictures to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

*YOU* make my weekly Dear Bacon issues – thank you my friends!

 

 
23 Comments

Posted by on 07/29/2014 in Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Local Restaurant

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Dear Local Restaurant,

Greetings from your loyal fan, Bacon.  I found this picture on my mom’s cell phone last night.  I’ve been dreaming and fantasizing about it all day now.  It looks dreamy and yummy!  So delicious.  I can almost feel the cold soft ice cream on my piggy lips.  Smacks lips and squeals!

If I can persuade my mother to bring me through your drive thru say tonight around 7pm, could you fix me an ice dream cone this big?!  Oh dear piggy heavens – THUD.  Of course, it won’t fit in mom’s Smart car Albert so I will need your parking lot to snarf it down.  I will allow pictures of said destruction of ice cream cone.  Do we have a deal?

Signed, Bacon – You’re #01 fan of Ice Cream Cones

 
37 Comments

Posted by on 07/11/2014 in Bacon

 

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I Have Proof!

Finally!  I have proof about our arrangements here at the Hotel Thompson.  You wouldn’t believe it.  I was shocked myself.  I’ve told you stories about that little monster Hemi who thinks he rules the roost here.  He’s in charge as he likes to tell everyone.  Trust me, to a certain point I let him believe that.  He likes to *try* to put me in my place by slapping my butt with his huge MONSTER IN CHARGE paw.  Usually when he does this, I squeal and run to mom.  I mean, I’m a man pig but mommy can bring down the wrath on him – snorts.

Well last night, I was hiding sleeping on the sofa and he didn’t see me.  What he did to daddy – shocking.  I’m telling you – SHOCKING!  This is just the proof of how wrapped he has daddy around his huge paws.  What was that?  You want to see my proof.  Okay – here you go.

What do you think now?  And look at that wicked look on his face!  I just know this is going to end up on Investigative Discovery channel.  I can see it now, “Animals that Kill”.  Hemi will be the first one serving time.  snorts!

 
50 Comments

Posted by on 06/05/2014 in Bacon

 

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Inquiring Minds Have to NO Need to Know

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Inquiring minds need to know 🙂

When you talk to your friends and family about your blogging friends, do you tell them that one of your friends is a cute, adorable, domesticated oinker?

What do they say?

Are they shocked that I’m so educated and that I try to stay on top of things in the world?  Are they shocked that I can type?  Are they shocked that I can express my feelings?  Are they shocked that I can take pictures with mom’s camera?

OR

Are they amazed at my sense of humor?  Do tell? I really need to know.  Moms friends at work think she’s crazy.  I’m not sure why.  She’s raised me well?

 
23 Comments

Posted by on 10/25/2013 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening

Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.

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Dear Bacon,
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available

Dear Available,
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.

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Dear Bacon,
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road

Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!

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Dear Bacon,
I coach a soccer team on the weekends. We are always looking for a few new team players. You ever think about playing? I’ve heard that snout of yours can be classified as a deadly weapon. We could use a player like you. What do you say? Signed Coach Jones of Team Anipals

Dear Coach Jones of Team Anipals,
That sounds like a great deal of fun. I’m In to give it a shot. This snout is very wicked and these hooves are very fast!!

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Dear Bacon,
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles

Dear Wrinkles,
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.

Remember friends – keep sending you pictures and questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 
16 Comments

Posted by on 08/20/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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We Need to Talk About Privacy

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Can’t a pig here at the Hotel Thompson take a nap in privacy?  I mean, really – I was drooling and having little piggy dreams in this picture.  Mom is getting worse than the Hollywood paparazzi with that camera of hers. 

There has to be a line drawn somewhere… a house rule of sorts at the Hotel Thompson.  You know like no pictures of the pig that are unflattering or drooling.  What if Miss Piggy sees it? That’s cutting in on my future love life.  What if mom decides to make a book and put that picture in there?  Oh thud snort no. 

 

I wonder how mom would feel if I take a picture of her sleeping or when she first gets up with no make up and bed head?  Hey, there you go – that’s going to be my come back when I speak with her.  No wait, maybe just take the picture and show it to her.  Perhaps that will change her mind – evil snort PLOL (Pig Laughing out Loud).

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 05/24/2013 in Bacon

 

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Holla!

20120716-002733.jpgPersonally, I think mom was born with a camera attached to her hands.  Every time I turn around, there she is like a person on vacation snapping pictures.  Most kids have a baby book, I have volumes…and video tapes.  Sigh – what’s a pig to do around here for a little privacy?  Sometimes I have to sneak off to my room just for a little ‘me’ time.  I know it’s all in good fun but I do draw the line when I’m in the shower.  I mean mom, I don’t take pictures of you in there now do I? 

 

 

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So, here’s another picture that mom took of me while I was playing around on the floor.  Dad’s tray just mystifies me.  I like to poke around it.  On occasion, I’ve been known to toss it.  It’s what I do – I’m a pig looking for adventure.  🙂

 

 

So you see, I’m never alone.  I look to the future and I don’t want to say it too loudly but I know mom.  I would not be surprised if she puts a camera in my room soon so everyone can see me live watching my television and playing around.  Sshhh – there will go all of my privacy so keep it quiet from her okay. 

Hogs and Kisses!

 

 
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Posted by on 07/16/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Mom and Her Camera

For some reason tonight mom was playing with her camera. I felt like I was on the red carpet there was so many flashes going on let alone her saying, “Over here – Over here”. It was all in fun. She was laughing and having a good time and so was I. I thought I would share a few select shots. 🙂 how could this face take a bad picture?

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2 Comments

Posted by on 05/01/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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