Mommy Lost Her Mind

We had great plans here at the Hotel Thompson this past weekend.  They required lots of rest and relaxation and most of all being couch potatoes while watching endless mind wandering television shows.  You know shows that are not to mind provoking or where you have to figure out who did it.  Television shows that you just watch and laugh carefree without having to use that mind… endless mind shows is what we call them.  Things went well Saturday.  

Then Sunday the humans get up and turn on the television in the living room.  They hear a big BANG.  Mom looked over and the small cable box had popped and was smoking.  She immediately went over and pulled all of the cables out of the wall and television.  Okay, so maybe they watched too much television the day before?  Snorts with piggy laughter.

Mom gets on the phone to inquire about our cable store to see where and when they are opened today.  Guess what?  They were closed on Sunday.  What the cream cheese?  Really.   So Sunday was long, no television.  Do you know how old school that was.  I’m not sure who it killed more – mom/dad or us anipals.  I mean hey I can admit it.  I love my television.  So Sunday we did what we ‘use’ to do before television.  We talked.  We cooked.  We played games.  We rested together.  It was kind of awesome.

Then Monday, mom took the cable box to the store and explained what happened to it.  They said it had happened to others and they were doing away with that type of box.  What?  Are you serious?  Something like this has happened before and you didn’t recall these types of boxes?  What if mom/dad had not been home?  What if was just us anipals and this happened?  Amazing customer service to boot huh?

So mom gets a new box (see picture) and was told all you have to do is plug everything in and there you go it works.  Mom of course rolled her eyes and said sure.  That’s when the great customer service told her, “Well we can come out to do it but it will be $75.00 for the service call”.  Really?!  That’s highway robbery.  Mom took the box mumbling some choice pirate words on the way out of the store under her breath.

Mom gets home and opens the box.  How cute.  The box says, ‘”Let’s get started”.  Of course mom did what no man has ever done.  She read the 3 page instructions first.  Then, mom had to move the giant television out and pull bookshelf/table out from the wall.  This in itself about blew mom’s inner strength.  Huffing and puffing, she gets everything pulled out so she can get behind the television.  Now, I’m on the couch minding my own business and watching the circus start.  Hemi then jumps behind the television to check things out.  Houdini tries to get in on the action.  All the time, mom is brushing them out from behind her war zone.

Mom follows the 3 easy steps.  Plug in cable box in from cable line – √.  Plug in cable from cable box to television – √.  Plug in cord from cable box to wall outlet – √.  Simple right?  Then the final step.  Turn on the television and you should have cable.  Easy peasy.  Mom felt great.  She turned on the television.  Nothing.  Mom dropped the F word – fudgescicles.  Oh boy.  This is not good.  Mom doesn’t use that word.

That’s when dad made his first mistake.  “Is it plugged in?”  Insert more use of the F word.  Then dad made his second mistake.  “Is it plugged into the right holes?”  Insert more use of the F word.

Mom gets the house phone and calls the cable company for tech support.  She puts them on speaker so she can have hands free for doing whatever they tell her to do.  Now this is where America has went wrong.  She gets a customer service rep who is clearly outsourced somewhere other than the states.  She can barely understand him through his heavy accent but clearly him ask, “Is it plugged in?”  Really?  Now mom asks him in a very nice way could she talk to someone else who doesn’t have such a heavy accent.  Nothing wrong in that.  If you can’t understand someone, you are not going to get the help you need.  And, she wasn’t being mean.  Can you believe he was not so nice and
said a few words she couldn’t understand before transferring her.  What happened to customer service these days?

Phone gets transferred and picked up by another who immediately throws mom on hold.  Finally after 12 minutes, it is picked up again by another person with an accent .  But this time, mom can understand them more.  And of course the first thing they say, “Is it plugged in?”  Really?  Mom counted to 10 and said, “Yes.  I’m literate I can read instructions”.  Of course, the guy laughed so that eased mom down some.  Through the course of about 25 minutes, every thing was attempted.  Pings were sent to the box.  Programming was changed. New remote was set up.  Mom climbed behind the television.  She pulled lines.  She took everything out.  She put everything back the way it was.   She stood on one foot.  She touched her nose.  She prayed to the cable Gods.

After an hour of customer service (which I might add that this person was cool), we had cable.  Eureka!  Clearer and better sound quality cable.  Clearer and better sound quality than we ever had.  Of course mom lost her mommy mind but through an adult drink later in a sippy cup she found it.

Now, I know mom is not the only one that hates dealing with these things.  What about your mom?  If dad could, she would have so thrown it in his lap and said deal with it.  But we know she couldn’t.  And I guess this is better than waiting for the cable guy who never gets there on time and yes it saved us money because she did it… but, to what extent do you deal with things like this?  Do tell my friends to cheer mom up.

 

So That’s What He Does All Night

Our cable bill had extra charges on it this month.  Mom was blaming daddy but he kept telling her he wasn’t doing it.  Now we know.  Don Juan – you are a little FREAK!  If we could find him during the day – he would be so be buried deep in the ground… in a box… tied up.  Shivers.

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon,  HELP!  I lost my favorite squeaky ducky.  I ❤ that ducky.  He’s my bestie in the entire world.  I haven’t been able to find him for hours.  What’s a dog to do?  I can’t sleep without him.  Can you help me find him?  Signed Lost Ducky

Dear Lost Ducky,  Uuumm.  Smile really BIG and open your mouth.  Did anything fall out?  There you go.  Lost ducky found my friend.  You two make a great team.  Go Ya’ll!

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Dear Bacon,  Can you please explain to us WHY there is *always* a longer line at the women’s restrooms.  We don’t get it.  We always have to wait while the men’s line seems to keep moving.  Can you help us out?  Signed Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed

Dear Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed,  That is a dilemma my friends.  I hear my mom talking about this all of the time.  She says it’s because women have more to do.  Not in a bad way, but ya’ll do.  That’s what makes ya’ll special.  Might I suggest when no one is looking, run to the men’s room.  Hey, if there’s no line there, why wait, right? And remember – ya’ll are beautiful!

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Dear Bacon,  Really?  Why does my humans think this picture is hilarious?  They couldn’t stop laughing.  I don’t get it.  I saw this paci thingy fall from the smaller human so I bit it to see what it is all about.  Then my humans started laughing and snapped this picture.  I don’t get it.  This stupid paci does nothing for me like it does the small crying human.  Signed Pugneck

Dear Pugneck,  Wait a minute my friend.  I need to put down my paper sack that was breathing in after seeing that picture.  So let me understand this.  You’re okay with the picture being taken.  You’re confusion falls into what exactly the paci thingy does for the crying miniature human.  Good one.  Yep, that’s where your concern should be.  You see, small miniature humans depend on those things to calm them.  It may not have that effect on say – the likes of you.  But on the other paw, it does amuse and “calm” humans to see you trying it out…. heck, it amuses me for that matter too my friend. Snorts.

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 Dear Bacon, There I was sitting on the sofa, enjoying my cup of java, fresh out of the shower and watching Maury Povich on the television.  I was minding my own business.  Then walks in the cable guy and snaps this picture of me on his cell phone.  WTD?!  Don’t we have any privacy in our own home anymore?  Next thing I knew, the cable man had tweeted this out to all his friends.  Talk about an invasion of privacy.  The nerve!  Signed Dog of Leisure

Dear Dog of Leisure, WOW – the cable man got to your house that early?  That in itself is amazing brother.  I can’t believe that.  A cable man that actually shows up FIRST thing in the morning?  WOW – I’m amazed at that.  It took the cable man two weeks and four hours to show up here at the Hotel Thompson for our last upgrade.  Astonishing.  Oh, I’m sorry.  You had a problem about the picture being tweeted.  Here’s what you do.  Under the tweet, tweet that the cable man actually showed up FIRST thing in the morning.  He’ll be trashed by other cable men for letting them down in his accuracy.  You just wait – stay strong and carry on!

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Dear Bacon,  my humans will suffer the consequences of this get up on me.  The disgust.  The nerve.  The humiliation.  Oh dear Lord, help me out buddy.  Signed Not Amused

Dear Not Amused,  Well at least it has your seal of not being amused – snorts.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t joke in a time like this.  I would clap for your approval but I don’t think you could do that for me.  I gotta ask though.  Is there a drop pouch for potty breaks?  If not, someone is going to have some cleaning up on aisle three to do – double snorts.  Hey, I’m joking.  I’m sorry little buddy.  You do look cute though.  Not many pooches could carry that one.  Wear it with pride.  That’s it.  And hey, if the seal isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

–

Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Keep sending me your questions and pictures to baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Shopping Around the World

My friend Fozzie and I have scheduled a group posting today of Shopping Around the World.   We thought it would be interesting to see the differences between different countries all over.Here are our prices for the following from our area – Georgia USA:

 

• Price of cable services for one month – what do you get for that price?  Right now we pay right around $40.00 a month for cable services.  This includes channels such as local, SyFy, Food Network, multiple Cartoon channels – yay me! – Investigative Discovery, Encore movie channels.  In all, I think there is 250 channels.  And we have On Demand where we can go back and watch shows.  I ❤ this!  
• A 12 ounce box (360 grams) of Cornflakes.  $3.29 – why are cereal prices so high? 
• A 15 ounce package (432 grams) of Oreos or other cream filled cookies.  $3.99 but sometimes we can get them on sale for 2 packages for $5.00
• A 7 ounce bag (225 grams) of Lay’s potato chips.  Lay’s are expensive 😦  And trust me, I do ❤ me some Lays. 7 ounce bags run around $2.00 or more a bag.  
• 1 pound of real butter.  $4.00 :0  
• A 6 ounce can of peanuts.  Mom buys the Kroger brand for $2.19 a can

Thanks so much to my friends Reilly and Denny for suggesting these items this month.

If you have some items that you want to get on the list, email me at baconthompson@gmail.com

Hope you had fun!!

 

 

Shopping Around the World – Don’t Forget :)

Me and my pal Fozzie started Shopping Around the World in April.  We asked for all of you to post prices on certain items in your part of town. We are going to do it again this month tomorrow on Wednesday, June 25, 2014.

Do a posting on your blog linked back to mine.  That way we can keep track of all of the different prices.

It should be interesting to see the differences between different countries all over.  Mark your calendar so you can do a posting with us.

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These are the suggestions of our friends Reilly and Denny. – thanks guys! Show your prices for the following:

• Price of cable services for one month – what do you get for that price?
• A 12 ounce box (360 grams) of Cornflakes
• A 15 ounce package (432 grams) of Oreos or other cream filled cookies.
• A 7 ounce bag (225 grams) of Lay’s potato chips.
• 1 pound of real butter.
• A 6 ounce can of peanuts.

Come join the fun of Shopping Around the World – mark your calendars for tomorrow –

Wednesday, June 25, 2014!

If you have suggestions for the July issue, please send them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Mark Your Calendars – REMINDER

Me and my pal Fozzie started Shopping Around the World in April.  We asked for all of you to post prices on certain items in your part of town. We are going to do it again this month on Wednesday, June 25, 2014.

Do a posting on your blog linked back to mine.  That way we can keep track of all of the different prices.

It should be interesting to see the differences between different countries all over.  Mark your calendar so you can do a posting with us.

These are the suggestions of our friends Reilly and Denny. – thanks guys! Show your prices for the following:

• Price of cable services for one month – what do you get for that price?
• A 12 ounce box (360 grams) of Cornflakes
• A 15 ounce package (432 grams) of Oreos or other cream filled cookies.
• A 7 ounce bag (225 grams) of Lay’s potato chips.
• 1 pound of real butter.
• A 6 ounce can of peanuts.

Come join the fun of Shopping Around the World – mark your calendars Wednesday, June 25, 2014!

If you have suggestions for the July issue, please send them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

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ALSO – Don’t forget about Bacon’s Show and Tell scheduled for Monday, June 30, 2014.

On this day – post a picture and share your first toy or your favorite childhood toy.  Tell us what it meant to you and if you still have it.  We can’t wait to read and see all of the wonderful childhood toys!

 

Shopping Around the World – Mark Your Calendars

Me and my pal Fozzie started Shopping Around the World in April.  We asked for all of you to post prices on certain items in your part of town. We are going to do it again this month on Wednesday, June 25, 2014.

Do a posting on your blog linked back to mine.  That way we can keep track of all of the different prices.

It should be interesting to see the differences between different countries all over.  Mark your calendar so you can do a posting with us.

.

These are the suggestions of our friends Reilly and Denny. – thanks guys! Show your prices for the following:

• Price of cable services for one month – what do you get for that price?
• A 12 ounce box (360 grams) of Cornflakes
• A 15 ounce package (432 grams) of Oreos or other cream filled cookies.
• A 7 ounce bag (225 grams) of Lay’s potato chips.
• 1 pound of real butter.
• A 6 ounce can of peanuts.

Come join the fun of Shopping Around the World – mark your calendars Wednesday, June 25, 2014!

If you have suggestions for the July issue, please send them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

10 Signs You’re Watching the ID Channel Too Much

Okay I admit it.  I’m addicted.  I’m addicted to the ID channel.  You know – investigative discovery.  It could be a worse.  I could have a gambling problem.  I could have a money problem.  I could be addicted to the ladies.  Nope – I’m addicted to Investigative Discovery.  I can’t help it.

Behind Mansion Walls, Disappeared , Catch My Killer, Dateline, Nightmare Next Door, On the Case with Paula Zahn, Homicide Hunter, Redrum, Swamp Murders, Southern Fried Homicide – these are just a few of the shows that get my piggy blood pumping!

Some people ask what is in my Netflix que or recorded to tape on my television – now you know.  I love a good who did it show.  I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat, get out my Columbo cigar, my pencil and notebook.  Yep, I’m addicted.  Do you know else is addicted right there with me?  Nods head up and down, yep my mommy.

Daddy says we watch too many of these shows.  I don’t think so.  I look at it as an educational research program for me and mom.  It keeps us on our hooves and toes.  But I guess I can admit there are times when maybe – and I stress that maybe – we are watching too much.  You be the judge.

10 Signs You’re Watching the ID Channel Too Much

1.  After watching the ID channel, you double check and then TRIPLE check to make sure all of your locks are set on every door and window in the house.

2.  You find yourself screaming at the television, “Don’t do it!”; “Turn around!”; “Don’t open the closet door!”; “Don’t get in the car!”; or my favorite, “Are you crazy!?!”  and mom’s favorite, “Has she seriously not called the cops yet?!”

3.  You’ve thought about doing a background check on your significant other because you just never know who you’ve married.

4.  When your spouse brings you a drink without asking, you automatically want to switch glasses with them just in case.

5.  When going on vacation, the first thing you ask is, “Do you have the ID channel?” followed by “What about free WifI?”

6.  When passing a hitch hiker, you just know in your mind’s eye that he has a hatchet or some sort of torture device in his back pack.

7.  When at a restaurant and the table next to you asks to borrow your salt shaker, you give them EVERYTHING on your table because you know people have been killed for less.

8.  When a friend asks you to ‘go for a ride’ and doesn’t tell you where ya’ll are going, you call everyone in front of him to let them know who you are with, start the recording device on your Smart phone and leave bread crumbs as a trail to find you…. just in case.

9.  You’re friends give you a surprise birthday party and the first thing you do when the lights come on and everyone yells surprise is take cover behind the sofa in a fetal position.

10.  Just the sound of any of the shows on the ID channel sends chills up and down your spine and you begin to wonder how the show is going to end this time.

Tell me my friends that I’m not the only one addicted to a channel that you just can’t get enough of…. please 🙂