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Dear Bacon

20131208-213049.jpgDear Bacon, Do you recognize this look my friend?  You know the doorbell rings but you are running around in your birthday suit.  You answer it from the corner wondering, “Who would come over without calling first” kind of look in your face.  You are secretly wishing it’s a girls scout selling cookies but oh no – it’s only someone selling something.  You give them this eat crap and die look before shutting the door.  No offense solicitors but unless you have thin mints, go to the neighbors house.  Signed Don’t Bother

Dear Don’t Bother,  YES I recognize that look.  Once all of the humans have settled into the Hotel Thompson, it’s a no bother zone unless you phone first – especially after dark. Shivers – I’ve seen too many shows on the Investigative Discovery channel.  No way am I opening the door.  And you are right… unless they have thin mints.  They could be someone from a horror show but if they are selling thin mints, I’m grabbing the boxes


20131208-213126.jpgDear Bacon,  You know sometimes I really hate my siblings.  They tell me that I chase butterflies too often grinning like the Cheshire cat and singing Disney songs. What’s it to them?  Who’s a happy gator – this guy!  Can’t we all just be happy and get along?  Signed Chomp

Dear Chomp,  I’m with you my bud.  I’m singing Hakuna Matata right now in my head.  It’s such a happy song all about no worries for the rest of your lives.  If you don’t know it, I highly recommend you looking it up and playing it.  It’s great and perky – just a song for chasing butterflies.  Be yourself and don’t let your siblings bully you into something you’re not!


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 Dear Bacon, I’ve called this meeting here today to talk to you about your little brother Houdini.  You know us dogs have skills.  We can be your allies or we can be your enemies.  You don’t want us to be your enemies.  I’m just saying.  This face may look all cute and everything but my inner dog is 500 pounds just like Houdini’s.  You might want to rethink your relationship with the little guy.  We can come in handy for a lot of things.  Signed Fluffy

Dear Fluffy,  Oh my friend, there is no doubt about the skills of you pooches.  Houdini is my little buddy.  Sometimes I even let him sleep with me in my bed at night.  He’s a great guy and helps me out with the purr things here all of the time.  Especially that Hemi who uses my butt like a slapping post.  No worries – I know ya’ll rule!


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 Dear Bacon, Score for the little dog!  I’ve been watching the humans and where they get my food.  Oh barks!  One day when they weren’t looking, I was able to get into the bag of heaven and SCORE!  Oh dude – I was in puppy heaven for a while until the master caught me.  But by that time, I had eaten half of the bag.  I was so fat I couldn’t walk.  I was rolling around with a silly happy grin on my face.  You ever done this before?  Signed Rolly Polly

 Dear Rolly Polly,  Snorts!  I ❤ this my friend.  I’ve never gotten into the bag before.  But once when I was Nana’s, I ate so much that I couldn’t even squeak I was so pudgy.  I was uncomfortable for a while but like you – it was so worth it!


 

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Dear Bacon,  I hate it when the humans make me dress up.  We had to go to a wedding this past weekend and they insisted on me wearing a tux.  Really?  I’m a dog.  Rolls doggy eyes.  Tell me they don’t make you dress in this ridiculous outfit.  Signed Mister Doggy in the Wedding

Dear Mister Doggy in the Wedding – I have to admit pal that you make that tux look good.  Really you do.  Sometimes we have to do things that we really don’t want to do but need to do.  That was probably one of those situations.  I don’t particular have to dress up… yet.  But can you believe Houdini here has a tux. 🙂  It happens to the best of us.  Wear it with pride!


Remember my friends – we can’t have Dear Bacon without your letters and pictures.  Please keep sending them to me – snorts and thanks!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on 04/07/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Bacon and Nylablue Date Night

Date night *finally* got here this past weekend. I’ve been walking on a cloud every since my Nylablue at http://nylabluesmum.wordpress.com/ said she would go out with me. So much planning needed to be done. I wanted our first date to be something that she would always remember and dream about. My bud Speedy at http://www.speedyhousebunny.com/ graciously offered to help me out. I don’t know what I would have done without his help. I’ll tell you, for a little rabbit – he has some *super powers*!

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Date night came quickly with all of this planning. Speedy jumped into his magic closet to travel and pick me up so we could flash to Canada to pick up my love. Let me tell you, traveling in buns magical closet was something in itself. Speedy is FAST. He picked me up like I didn’t weigh anything at all and we jumped in the tunnel. I closed my eyes so tight and the next thing I knew there we were in Canada. I should have put on my winter coat because it’s cold there! I don’t see how my love does it. But that’s okay, I’m here to keep her warm now 🙂 Introductions were made in real life with Nylablue’s mother, Sherri-Ellen. I promised to have our princess home at a decent time and not to tire her out too much. Then, we were off.

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Speedy pulled the limousine around and picked us up in style. There’s nothing like a white stretch limo to make the girls swoon, huh? This one was fantastic! There was so much room for us inside to stretch out and partake in some of the goodies that Speedy had stocked up in the limo. Nothing but the best for my little Nylablue..

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There was plenty of bottled water stocked and Speedy even remembered to stock some light snacks for us. There was tuna, crackers, shrimp balls and this fabulous aged cheese. It was all very delicious. But do you know what made it even more special? Having my sweet lady right there beside me to enjoy everything. We sat, snacked and talked about our lives while watching the landscape pass us by in the limousine windows. It was by far the highlight of my life so far. Nylablue stretched out on one of the seats and looked like the princess she is.

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Our first stop in our magical journey was an ancient temple in Cambodia. You know I figured cats are curious and that Nylablue would love this. We all got out to investigate the temple and the grounds. It was like a magical moment trapped in time. Everything was so quiet and it was like just the three of us were the only ones left in the world. It had a very calming and healing effect I believe. I’ve never seen grass so green and believe it or not – it didn’t feel weird on my hooves which is something I normally hate. It was pigawesome. And Speedy, he was wonderful in telling us about other temples he had been to.

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When we got done exploring, we went to the back of the temple and found a gorgeous lake. It was pure bliss that we all stretched out and let the warm sun rays envelope us. We stayed there for almost an hour in silence. No one really needed to say anything. We were all content and happy. We had each other, the sun and the beautiful day that we had been looking forward to so much. It was our little heaven. It was as close to perfect that we could ever plan.

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After a while, my pot belly started to rumble. Darn that belly. But by that time Nylablue was started to get a little hungry as well. We decided to have a little picnic right there with the mountains in the background. Speedy had packed us a variety of different delights. There was a magnificent tuna spread, baked carrots, aged cheese and chicken. This was definitely the best picnic basket I’ve seen. We took turns trying different foods and yes we might have fed each other a bit. Some things need to remain at the temple 🙂

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Afterwards, we went walking in a field next to the lake that was filled with daisies and butterflies. Nylablue and I took turns chasing the butterflies and running through the daisies. It was an afternoon of carefree delight in doing nothing but having fun with each other. We even played tag for a while. Then we played hide and seek. Nylablue hid first and I asked her if I found her what would I get? She purred and meowed. I snorted, closed my eyes and started to count. All I can tell you is that I found her and a gentlepig never tells of his adventures. This was the best date of my entire life. So much so that I made my little Nylablue a video of our time together. I hope she enjoys it as much as I enjoyed my day with her. And Speedy, thanks my man for helping us out with your talents. You are the best!

 
50 Comments

Posted by on 03/10/2014 in Bacon, Uncategorized

 

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No to Nature

It’s no secret – I don’t do nature.  It’s as simple as that.  There are things out there on the other side of the door that I don’t want touching me.  I’m a spoiled pig in that aspect.  I can admit that.  I’ve never been except in crossing from the mini pig mobile to the house when going on a field trip.  I’ve never spent the night ‘outside’.  I don’t even like the way the grass feels on my hooves. 

Do you understand – I don’t do nature.  I’m house trained – why do I really need to go out ‘there’?  And let alone, the luxuries of my bedroom are not in nature – you know like my bed, my television and the magical food box in the kitchen.

 And just to make another point about nature.  Did you know that there are slithery things out there?  I know – I was shocked too!  I thought my back yard held things like the pollen bunny, mysterious unicorns and beautiful butterflies.  I learned this weekend that there is creepy crawly things in that back yard that are not so nice.

We have a wonderful neighbor – he acts like Mr. Rogers 🙂 – who cuts our yard for us.  He is so sweet and nice to do this and we really, REALLY appreciate that.  He let us know that he found a….a…. are you ready for this… a SNAKE in the back yard.  Oh gracious shivers to mergatroid piggy faint.  What happened to the butterflies and unicorns in the back yard?  I’m not sure which one of us hit the floor first – me or mom.  She just doesn’t do snakes.  In fact, I heard her tell Big Daddy next door that unless it has four legs and fur, it doesn’t need to be in the back yard.  I kind of feel the same way.

See, if I was out in nature in the back yard, I would have come snout to wiggly tongue to that thing.  OOOHHH yucky.  Just another thing to add to my list of why I don’t go outside in nature. 

XOXO – still quivering with fear Bacon

 

 

 
18 Comments

Posted by on 04/28/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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