Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – They are right when they say the eyes are the first to go. These days, I’m having to wear glasses just to get around the neighborhood.

I know other dogs make fun of me and it kind of hurts my feelings. What should I do? Signed Four Doggy Eyes

Dear Four Doggy Eyes – Hey guy, if it helps you to see I wouldn’t care what other dogs think about it. One day, they are going to experience problems as well. They are being doggy bullies and you know what.

Bullying is totally unacceptable in any form in any way – humans or animals.

Hold your head up high my friend. Wear those great looking glasses with pride!

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Dear Bacon – Around these parts, they call me Sheriff Groucho. I love protecting my house and yard wearing my outfit. Sometimes, the humans even walk me through the neighborhood and so I can protect and serve other animals in the hood. It’s what I do. Signed Sheriff Groucho

Dear Sheriff Groucho – Hey, I like the look. I think it’s great that you are taking care of your neighborhood like that. If only other animals great and small would take charge and take back their own neighborhoods, it would be a wonderful place to live. Almost like Mr. Rogers neighborhood. I could see me living there.

Keep up the great work my friend. I think you deserve a pat on the back and a good job well done!

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Dear Bacon – You talk about your mommy reading you bedtime stories all of the time. I like to read my own. I especially like Dr Seuss Go Dog Go. Have you read it? Signed Smart Pooch

Dear Smart Pooch – I haven’t heard of that book. I’m going to have to get mom to get a copy so she can read it to me one night. Thanks so much for the suggestion. I love how you hold your book. I only wish my hooves could accomodate that move.

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Dear Bacon – You know riding a hog is just not for the humans – no pun intended. Sometimes on nice days outside, I like to jump my bike and ride. I like to feel the wind going over my body.

Do you like to ride? Signed Harley the Frog

Dear Harley the Frog – I like that bike. I absolutely love the color. Your legs are a tad bit longer than mine. I have short legs unfortunately.

It would be fun to feel the wind blowing through my hair though. I may have to see what I can do about that. Keep riding my friend and stay safe.

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Dear Bacon – Some days, it doesn’t pay to even get out of bed. On this day in fact, I went from on top of the bed to under the bed. I just passed out and slept until the world was nicer to me. Do you ever have those days? Signed Pooch in Life

Dear Pooch in Life – I do have days where I go back to my bed until I feel better. It’s not every day. It just seems like some days Mother Nature is out to get you and throws lemons at you. Instead of passing it on to the humans, I sleep it off as well. I don’t have the back sleeping going on like you do but it looks comfortable!

 

Tank vs Albert – The Results

Hello my friends.  Hope everyone had a most excellent weekend.  We all did here at the Hotel Thompson.  Us anipals got plenty of snuggles and rest.  Mom and dad completed the Tank vs Albert challenge and I’m here today with the results from them.  And just so you know, mom took daddy with her so that the results were not one-sided.  Do you think you know who won out in the competition of who is the most fun?  Do you think mommy gets treated differently when she drives the other vehicle?  You don’t have to wait any longer – here we go.

First up for the challenge – Tank.  Mom/dad went out riding in Tank on Saturday around the area.  Now, remember the challenge was to do the following:

• Wave at two cars that are similar in make and see what people do.
• Let two people in front of her at different times to see what people do.
• Go through a drive thru and pay for the breakfast behind her to see what people do.

Mom saw another car right off similar to Tank on the boulevard.  She waved at the woman driver.  The woman driver did a double take as if who are you waving at.  So much for being friendly huh?  Later on, mom saw another car similar to Tank with another woman driver.  She waved.  The lady at least smiled at mom – no wave but a smile.

At a red light, there was a man coming out of a shopping center.  Mom stopped to let him out.  He came out like there was no tomorrow without even a glance back.  Later, another stop light and restaurant.  Mom waved to let the woman out.  Again, no acknowledgement.

Mom and dad then proceeded to a drive thru later on in the day.  The lady behind them was buying a Happy Meal for her child so mom decided to buy it for her.  Mom pulled up to see the woman’s reaction.  Nada.  Nothing.  Not even a wave of thank you.

Results in Tank – Okay not very friendly.  Mom did get a wave from another similar driver of a Chevrolet Equinox. Other than that, nothing.  How crappy huh?

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Sunday, mom/dad decided to take out Albert for the test.  They drove in different areas than they did Tank the day before.  Now, Smart cars are harder to find on the roads here – not a lot of people have them so they had to really look.

After a while, mom spotted one like a great white in the ocean.  She moved towards it.  She didn’t even have to honk first – the guy did in his Smart car.  He beeped his horn and waved like crazy at mom.  Of course, she acted equally as crazy and waved back.

The next spotting was a two-for.  She was sitting at a light and a Smart car was coming out of a restaurant.  She not only let the Smart car out, but they waved like crazy, rolled down their window and shouted to mom, “We love your car!”  Go figure huh?

Later on in the day, mom/dad were sitting at another light and a car was coming out of a motel.  Mom motioned them.  Do you believe what they did – they waved and laughed.  Awesome!

Now the kicker – to do a drive thru and pay for someone’s meal behind them.  They hit the nearest drive thru, ordered their food and paid for the car behind them.  Mom pulled up a bit to see what would happen.  The car behind them pulled up, you could see the conversation taking place and then they started beeping their horn and waving.  SCORE!

So what does this challenge teach you… other than mom/dad have a lot of time on their hands to do random psychiatric testing on people that don’t even know it – snorts.  This challenge teaches you something that women have known for centuries – are you ready for this – SIZE MATTERS!  No really, think about it.  This works not only in cars but in real life with humans.  The smaller you are, the more accepting people are to you and go out of their way to be nicer.  You know it’s true.  It’s profiling at it’s basic power.  Think about it.   Until people accept that we are all individuals in all different shapes and sizes, this will continue.  Bullying is a powerful weapon that happens in all forms of life.  This is a time to make a stand my friends.

SAY NO TO BULLYING!! 

 

Billy the Beaver Says, “Say NO to Bullying”

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

I read your weekly issues all of the time.  I was being bullied in the neighborhood and I took the advice you gave in one of your letters, “Tell someone.”  This is my big brother Chance.  I told him about some cats in the hood that were picking on me because I was small and they wouldn’t let me play ball.  He shadowed me everywhere I went for a whole week.  Isn’t he the best!  And nope, not one mean cat wanted to take a chance with him in not letting me playing ball.  Signed Felix

Dear Felix,

Bravo to you little guy!  I’m so glad my advice paid off.  I don’t think those other cats will be picking on you anytime soon.  Pat Chance on the back and tell him job well done for sticking up for family!

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Dear Bacon,

I’m thinking of trying out for American Idol this coming up season.  Do you think I have a shot.  I can sing!  I mean I can really sing.  I bet you are wondering what will I sing aren’t you?  cough cough – sing with me now my friend:

“In the Jungle, the mighty jungle, the lions sleeps tonight.
In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the lions sleeps tonight.

Near the village, the peaceful village, the lions sleeps tonight.
Near the village, the quiet village, the lions sleeps tonight.

Hush my darling, don’t fear my darling, the lions sleeps tonight.
Hush my darling, don’t fear my darling, the lions sleeps tonight.”

What do you think?  Signed Jagger

Dear Jagger,

Go for it my friend.  I was singing along there with you the entire time.  You’ve definitely got the spirit.  I’ll tell you another thing.  I haven’t seen a zebra try out so you might have one hoove in the door already.

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Dear Bacon,

I know it’s wrong but I can’t help myself.  Sometimes I just want to have a little fun.  On those days, I put on my fin and go into the water.  You should hear the screams!  Who says turtles aren’t bad to the bone!  Signed George

Dear George,

Snorts – that is funny.  I bet you would be a hoot in the bathtub during mom’s 1 hour bubble bath.  That would definitely be a way to get her out of the bathroom.  Oops – did I say that out loud?  snorts.

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Dear Bacon,

My dream one day is to become a comedian.  I just feel it in my bones that I can make humans laugh.  I’ve been working my routine with the animals at Old McDonald’s farm and it has been a riot.  Lots of my get togethers have been standing room only.  Let me try a few on you.

Question:  What did the waiter say to the horse?  Answer:  I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.

Question:  What did the horse say when it fell?  Answer:  “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

Question: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her classroom?  Answer:  “Why the long face?”

And one of my best ones –

Question:  What do you call a horse that lives next door?  Answer:  A neigh-bor!

Did it work?  Did I make you laugh – or at least smile?  Did I?  Signed Rodney

Dear Rodney,

Snorts my friend.  Those were some good ones.  Keep up the great work and remember me when you go famous!

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Dear Bacon,

Do you think this spot makes my butt or tail look big?  I don’t want to have any hang ups on it in the future.  You think?  Signed Babe

Dear Babe,

Not at all my friend.  In fact, I think it brings something to the table.  Mom oohheed and aawweeed over it.  I don’t think you have anything to worry about at all.

Remember friends, keep your questions and pictures coming.  Send them to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
Hey, I’m just trying to help out here around the house. The humans said I don’t pull my weight. That’s all I’m doing – trying to help out with the everyday chores. I thought I would help out with dinner. I’m sure it will taste like chicken – evil bark. Signed Chef Boy Ring Dog

Dear Chef Boy Ring Dog,

Step away from the stove my friend. Purr things are not made for eating. They are made for loving. Trust me, they do not taste like chicken. I’ve licked our purr things here at the Hotel Thompson. They taste nothing like chicken. Not even good. You don’t want any of that. Go find you some kibbles. Now that’s a meal.

 

Dear Bacon,
I know you have a lot of horsey friends. Can I be your friend to? I think we have some similar markings. I’m hoping that you can help me out with a problem I have. Am I a black horse with white spots or am I a white horse with black spots? Signed Confucius Spots

Dear Confucius Spots,

I would love to be your friend! I’m so touched that you asked. As for your problem. Does it really matter? All that *does* matter is that you know you are beautiful either way. I mean that from the heart – You are stunning – just stunning my new friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
What can I say, I’m a thrill seeker. Anything to get my heart pumping, I just LOVE to do. I know it drives Old McDonald over the edge here at the farm. I can’t help it though. Don’t you just love the excitement? Signed Evil Cowknivel

Dear Evil Cowknivel,

My friend, there is excitement and then there is excitement. Personally, I find it exciting just walking to the front room from my bedroom without getting the wrath of Hemi slapping my hind quarters. But, each to their own ways. Try not to give Old McDonald a heart attack in some of your activities. And heck, if you are going to take a risk, start charging admission so at least you can help the farm out. You know? Carry on my friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
I’m trying to ‘bulk’ up. My friends say I’m skinny and scrawny. Do you think it’s working? Signed Squirt

Dear Squirt,

Oh little guy, give it some time. You will grow into all of that fur. You don’t need to lift weights to do that. And tell your friends to quit bullying you. There is no room for bullying in this time and age – NONE WHATSOEVER. You are just fine the way you are.

 

Dear Bacon,

Who says that skateboarding is just for guys and the humans. If I want to burn the roads up, why can’t I? Everyone says it’s just a guy sport. Why? Who makes up these rules? Chicks rule – we should make up the rules, right? Signed Atonia Hawk

Dear Atonia Hawk,

I’m not arguing with that, really I’m not. I’ve seen my human mom do some amazing guy things. I say if you are good at, then practice makes perfect. Don’t take any flack – show them whatcha got my furry friend!

 

 

Remember Friends – Keep sending your pictures/questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

They are right when they say the eyes are the first to go. These days, I’m having to wear glasses just to get around the neighborhood. I know other dogs make fun of me and it kind of hurts my feelings. What should I do? Signed Four Doggy Eyes

Dear Four Doggy Eyes,

Hey guy, if it helps you to see I wouldn’t care what other dogs think about it. One day, they are going to experience problems as well. They are being doggy bullies and you know what. Bullying is totally unacceptable in any form in any way – humans or animals. Hold your head up high my friend. Wear those great looking glasses with pride!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Around these parts, they call me Sheriff Groucho. I love protecting my house and yard wearing my outfit. Sometimes, the humans even walk me through the neighborhood and so I can protect and serve other animals in the hood. It’s what I do. Signed Sheriff Groucho

Dear Sheriff Groucho,

Hey, I like the look. I think it’s great that you are taking care of your neighborhood like that. If only other animals great and small would take charge and take back their own neighborhoods, it would be a wonderful place to live. Almost like Mr. Rogers neighborhood. I could see me living there.

Keep up the great work my friend. I think you deserve a pat on the back and a good job well done!

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Dear Bacon,

You talk about your mommy reading you bedtime stories all of the time. I like to read my own. I especially like Dr Seuss Go Dog Go. Have you read it? Signed Smart Pooch

Dear Smart Pooch,

I haven’t heard of that book. I’m going to have to get mom to get a copy so she can read it to me one night. Thanks so much for the suggestion. I love how you hold your book. I only wish my hooves could accomodate that move.

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Dear Bacon,

You know riding a hog is just not for the humans – no pun intended. Sometimes on nice days outside, I like to jump my bike and ride. I like to feel the wind going over my body. Do you like to ride? Signed Harley the Frog

 

Dear Harley the Frog,

I like that bike. I absolutely love the color. Your legs are a tad bit longer than mine. I have short legs unfortunately. It would be fun to feel the wind blowing through my hair though. I may have to see what I can do about that. Keep riding my friend and stay safe.

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Dear Bacon,

Some days, it doesn’t pay to even get out of bed. On this day in fact, I went from on top of the bed to under the bed. I just passed out and slept until the world was nicer to me. Do you ever have those days? Signed Pooch in Life

Dear Pooch in Life,

I do have days where I go back to my bed until I feel better. It’s not every day. It just seems like some days Mother Nature is out to get you and throws lemons at you. Instead of passing it on to the humans, I sleep it off as well. I don’t have the back sleeping going on like you do but it looks comfortable!

 

Daddy Piggy Love

After my bad behavior last night, my prayer meeting with mom and my time out, I had a long time to reflect on my evil ways. This behavior is totally unaccepted here

 at the Hotel Thompson. Going to bed early last night gave me plenty of time to think about my situation.

Bullying at the Hotel Thompson is totally against the rules. I had a momentarily lapse in sound judgment. Mom explained to me that dad was just trying to give me some loving. I explained to mom that me eating and the way dad was scratching me made me think he was trying to get me away from my food. He is after all the alpha male in this establishment. Bottom line, I lost my mind.

Things are fine now. Me and dad have made up. Just to proof it, mom caught this picture of us last night. Can’t you see the love in my face?