Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – I am the All Mighty Magical Hare.  That’s right – I’m a magician.  I got tired of the human pulling me out of his hat.  It was dark in there.  Now I do the tricks.  What?  You never saw a magical hare before?  There’s lot of us out there that are famous.  You’ll see.  Signed All Mighty Magical Hare

Dear All Mighty Magical Hare – I say go for it my fuzzy little friend!  Why play second fiddle when you can be the main star.  And with that charming red coat – who could see nothing but a STAR?  There are lots of rabbits out there that are famous – the Trix Rabbit, the Energizer bunny, Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh, Roger Rabbit, Bugs Bunny and now YOU – the All Mighty Magical Hare.  I can see your name in spot lights.  I can see you in sold out theaters.  I can see David Copperfield shaking in his expensive shoes.  That makes me wonder.  Who are you going to pull out of your hat my friend?  Snorts and oinks.

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 Dear Bacon – You see nothing here.  Nothing at all.  There is no dog under this pillow.  Nope. Nada.  Walk on my friend.  Nothing to see here at ALL.  Signed Walk the Line

Dear Walk the Line – You got be faster than that my furry friend.  The evidence is now in the picture.  I suggest you shred these pictures and delete them from your computers.  If you can’t see it, it didn’t happen. Remember those words and tread lightly.

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 Dear Bacon –  Who says that the little miniature humans are the only ones to have fun on toys?  Is that a rule set in concrete?  I think not.  I made it not.  When everyone went to bed, I jumped and rode a horse.  It was fast.  It was fun.  It was the time of my life until…. I forgot about the motion sensor camera the humans put in the front room.  Can you say busted little guy?  Signed Caught in Giddy Up

Dear Caught in Giddy Up –  Hey, don’t sweat it my friends.  You can only imagine what that camera catches the humans doing.  I’m just sayin’ do a little research for some blackmail in case they decide to put your picture on their Christmas cards this year.  Snorts – Giddy Up!

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 Dear Bacon – The possibilities are endless.  My brother has the cone of shame.  Sure I feel for him.  Who wouldn’t, right?  But for all of the crap he has given me, does this look give you any enlightenment to the torture fun I’m going to have with him?  Evil barks!  Signed Some Doggie?

Dear Some Doggie –  Oh no!  I’ve heard about you recently my friend.  You are the one that does all of these bad things to doggies and then dogs get blamed for it.  Some Doggie – you are famous.  I gotta admit that your bro looks a little pitiful.  Maybe go a little easy on him… just a little okay.

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 Dear Bacon – My humans forgot to feed me tonight. Something about they were tired and sick.  They went to bed early without a second thought to little me and my needs like FOOD.  That’s okay though.  I’ve been sitting up here watching them sleep for a couple of hours.  I don’t plan on moving until they wake up and see me here.  That should give them plenty of nightmares for the rest of their lives and they should never forget about me again.  What do you think?  Signed Pissed

Dear Pissed –  Oh.my.pigs.  Remind me to *never* piss you off my friend…. or to piss off the purr things here.  They may get instruction from you.  If I woke up to you staring at me from above…. I think I would wet myself right there and then in my piggy bed.  Squeals!

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

 

I’m a Bunny – snort

Mom has been making fun of me the past couple of mornings.  I’ve been watching the bunnies in the back yard too much from my window in my bedroom.  I’ve seen how they move.  How quick they are.  How comical they look.  So when I come out of my room, I’ve been trying to make myself look like a bunny jumping down the hall.  It really is fun for me but mom finds it really hysterical.  She laughs at me and tells me, “Bacon, you’re a pig not a rabbit”.  I just snort and continue jumping down the hall.  I think its fun, almost like a game.  Mom says that she is going to try to video tape me doing it this weekend. 

I’m not really sure why mom is so surprised that I’m trying to act like a bunny.  I mean, really, let’s think about this.  What do bunnies eat?  Bingo – carrots.  What did I just get 5 pounds of for Christmas?  Right again, carrots.  I eat them constantly around the house.  You would think that with as many carrots that I eat, two things would happen.

(1) I would be a bunny because I have the tendency to look at mom while I’m eating a carrot and say, “What’s up Doc?”  (for you younger generation, check out Bugs Bunny on television – it’s one of my favorite cartoons to watch on my television); and

(2) I would have a much better vision capacity but I don’t.  Carrots have a lot of Vitamin A in them which is suppose to help with eyesight.  It’s not just a myth or something your mother made up to eat your veggies.  There’s documented proof.  With that information, you would think with as many carrots as I eat that I would be able to see through walls!  Unfortunately, pigs have very bad eyesight but don’t feel sorry for me yet.  What we lack in vision, we make up in smell.  Mom says I’m better than a beagle or basset hound when it comes to smell.  Heck, I think I would be a fantastic P9 (Pig-Nine)… you nothing something like a K9 (Canine) working for the police department.  I can track things down like you wouldn’t believe!  But, hey, I digress… that’s another post all together – snort LOL

So for now, I’m a bunny.  Why don’t you hop around a couple of times today to think about me. 

Hogs and Kisses – Bacon