Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  What?  Who are people to judge?  There I was walking in the woods minding my own business.  That’s when it crossed my path.  It was so huge.  So ugly.  So mean looking.  Shivers to Smokey the Bear.  This thing was huge.  What can I say?  Even bears hate spiders.  They are evil little creatures.  Are you afraid of those eight legged freaks too?  Signed Sitting on Top of the World

Dear Sitting on Top of the World – I agree with you whole heatedly my friend – SHIVERS!  To be so small and somewhat innocent looking, those legs and eyes set me off every single time.  They are a wicked bunch who think the entire world is out to get them.  In thinking such, Yes.  I can admit it.  I’m so afraid of them. Heck we had one outside our front porch here at the Hotel Thompson that was so huge that it could carry me off.  Is there any room up there for me too?

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Dear Bacon –  I’m just trying to set the record straight my friend.  Not all of my kind is mean or aggressive.  That’s how the bad owners try to make us feel.  Take for instance me – I’m full of love and kindness as you can see by my friends.  I love everyone and would not hurt not a soul.  Signed Love Actually

Dear Love Actually – Bravo my friend.  You make a great example in setting everyone straight.  We are only as our humans are.  Full of love and life shows the kindness in your humans – just like mine.  We wouldn’t hurt anyone… except for maybe licks and kisses.  Keep up the great work!

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 Dear Bacon –  It’s time to have a talk with my master.  After balancing the budget for him, there are some cuts to be made.  I think we should start in his food budget and see how he likes it for a change.  What do you think?  Signed Bulldog Accounting

Dear Bulldog Accounting – I think you may be on to something my friend.  If we cut their food budget and the things they enjoy, they might see the light when it comes to cutting our food supply and the things we enjoy.  Great strategy.  Let me know how it works okay.

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 Dear Bacon – I am ready for the battle.  I will protect and serve you my oinker friend through thick and then.  I have my sandals and sword and will travel for your safety.  Signed Warrior

Dear Warrior – Aaww – that’s a great friend that would pick up, travel to my side and protect me through thick and thin.  You are such a great and brave warrior.  But in these parts here at the Hotel Thompson, I don’t have much to worry about.  Not really.  I think most days all I do worry about is whether or not tonight I’m having a salad or side dish from mom/dad’s dinner.  That’s the highlight of my worries.  You see, I have it made here at the Hotel Thompson.  I know that.  I say your talents and bravery should be for say a woman of your kind… that way you can win her heart forever every day together.  What do you think?  Keep me posted because I think personally any woman would be honored to have you at her side – her shining knight hero.

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Dear Bacon –  Roar!  I’m a bear.  I’m a fox.  I’m a dog.  Listen to me ROAR.  Barks!  No not really.  You see I am a dog.  However, I look like a fox or a bear.  Neat huh?  My humans love that about me.  At first people are like WOW – look at that bear.  Then they learn that I’m a poochie.  Then they are like aaaww isn’t he cute?  I’ll take it – I’ll take all of the attention I can get.  Right? Signed PandaFoxPooch

Dear PandaFoxPooch – I think that’s awesome!  You can have the best of three different worlds.  Just think of the tight spots you can get out of with your multi-talents.  Too cool my friend.  And you have the entire package – the looks, the coloring and the roar and barking.  Carry it with pride!

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Remember my friends that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send your pictures and letters to my email address. 🙂

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What?  Us reindeer can’t make a living only working one time a year at Christmas.  So what do we do for part time gigs?  Well I myself go from flea market to flea market taking pictures with the humans. Sometimes just for fun, I’ll stick my tongue out.  For some reasons, the humans love that.  Hey – it’s a living in between working for the fat dude.  Signed Donner

Dear Donner – You know I really never did think about what ya’ll did for the rest of the year.  I guess you would have to make some money during the year.  And hey, why not stick your tongue out?  I bet you make more money doing that, right?  Way to go my friend.  If you are ever near these parts, stop in for some treats.

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Dear Bacon – What has been seen can not now be unseen.  Why do the humans think they can run naked throughout the house when other humans are not around?  Are we not considered family?  Nobody wants to see that – put some clothes on.  And let me just say, just because other humans aren’t around, we don’t want to smell your farts either.  My gosh – what was that a motor boat??  Signed Shocked

Dear Shocked – WOW – it must have been a vision that can not be erased from your memory.  The look on your face tells me everything. And the run by motor boat, it had to be your dad, wasn’t it?  Shakes piggy head.  My dad does that too and then tries to blame it on me when mom walks in the room.  Dude, they ought to bottle that stuff up for hazardous materials!

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 Dear Bacon – For some reason, I don’t think that humans are suppose to get up and then fall over.  I saw my mistress working at her desk, stand up and then fall over and go boom.  Her eyes were shut and everything.  I just sat here and watched… and waited.  Is it normal?  Do you humans just get tired like this?  Signed Watcher

Dear Watcher – Shakes head no.  I don’t think that is normal my friend.  Did she finally get up?  Maybe she was looking at the family budget.  Sometimes my dad’s eyes will roll to the back of his head when he looks at the budget at the end of the month.  Yeah – maybe that’s it.  For some reasons, numbers do that to humans.  I don’t get it either.  I mean what’s to budget for?  Just our food is important.

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Dear Bacon – What?  Haven’t you ever seen a kangaroo with his rabbit?  This is my buddy Hopper – he’s my pal.  He never talks back and goes everywhere I do.  Sure my friends talk about me behind my back but they’re just jealous.  Don’t you have a friend too?  Signed Hopper Times Two

Dear Hopper Times Two – Who are other people to judge?  If you want Hopper around with you all of the time, so be it.  I have little friends around the Hotel Thompson that I count as my friends.  It’s no different.  You be your own kangaroo and don’t worry about what people say behind your back.  They are just jealous that they don’t have a close friend like yours.  Hop on and take care!

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Dear Bacon – I’m just a sexy little feline trying to pay her way through cat school.  They only way I can make some money is buy working the poles.  I practice at home on the legs to any table I can find at home during the day.  Then at night, I hit the club and work my magic.  What do you think about this move?  Sexy enough for you?  Signed Magic Kitty

Dear Magic Kitty – Well, um, what can I say?  You have the moves like Jagger?  You can get into positions that I’ve never seen before.  But I gotta ask…. where do they put the money?

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 Dear Bacon – My mother thinks I’m always too mean towards my little brother and that I need to show him how much I really love him.  I can do that, I said, so I decided to give him this great big hug.  Do you believe he had the nerve to stick his tongue out at me and tell Mommy I was still being mean to him?  Apparently hugging gets you put in time out these days…. it’s not fair, I tell you!  Signed Cat Hugger

Dear Cat Hugger – You hugged him and still got time out?  The nerve of your human.  I mean look at the little guy – he is sticking his tongue out at you?  What about that?  Did your humans not see that?  You being all nice and him showing you the tongue.  I say this means war… of course don’t get caught again – snorts

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

 

TAX DAY!

It’s that dreaded time of the year again here – April 15th. Sure does seem to get here faster and faster every year, doesn’t it? 

Mom and dad played smart this year and got their taxes done earlier in the year.  For once, they don’t have to do the running around last minute catching up game. 

Have you done yours yet?  Good luck my friends!