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So You’ve Got What!?

What the cream cheese?!   I’m serious.  My mom and dad do not find trouble.  Trouble finds them.  I’m serious.  You don’t believe me?  Okay.  Let me show you.

This is exhibit A.  This is a real book in the book store written by Ira Alterman. You see it was all innocent.  Mom and dad went to a vintage book store to find us anipals some new reading material for our bedtime stories.  That is when dad found this book.  Mom and dad had a fit and laughed like little kids.  I mean I don’t know what the big deal is really.  We do have a fat pussy here at the Hotel Thompson and her name is Mouse Girl.  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.

And no they didn’t buy the book.  Can you believe it was $100.00?!  Mom said they could keep the fat pussy.  Snorts!

What at is the craziest book title you have ever seen?

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22 Comments

Posted by on 02/28/2015 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl

 

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Mom is in Jury Duty This Week

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Poor mom. She’s in jury duty this week. She says a lot of people get called and try to get out of it. Although she would love to get out of it, she does know that it’s an important rite and freedom to serve. She’s good with that. The bad thing is that she never gets picked to serve on a trial. This will be her fourth time getting called.

She reported yesterday. She  said the security check point she had to go to was worse than Ft Knox. Then after that line, she had to wait in another line to check in with the jury room. Four groups got called as potential jurors yesterday. Mom didn’t get picked for any of them so she waited…and waited…and waited.

But she came prepared. She read her book. She played games on her cell phone. And of course she text me when she was bored. So today she will be there again. In fact, she’s probably sitting there now waiting. And waiting.

Have you ever got picked? Any great stories you want to share?

PS. Mom says that the snack machine in the jury room needs to be like the one above. Maybe that way everyone can make it through the day of you know waiting. Snorts.

 
36 Comments

Posted by on 01/13/2015 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

I’m BBAACCKK!  After a wonderful month off from my regular routine, I am back with my normal postings.  Hope you enjoyed my 31 Days of Spook my friends – now back to some wonderful Dear Bacon issues with anipals that need help –


20140719-223146-81106311.jpgDear Bacon –  I have a slight problem here.  I’m always being watched.  Always.  It’s like I get no peace or alone time.  What can I do?  He’s watching me now, isn’t he?  Signed Helpless

Dear Helpless –  WOW!  He is watching you right this instance.  What is he writing a book – are you chapter 3?  The dude needs to leave you alone.  You need to fix this now.  Perhaps the next time he is in the other room, maybe you need to shut the door.  Or persuade him into a closet.  You know, something along those lines.  Sshheessh – a purr thing has to have their alone time.  Good luck my friend.


 

20140719-223146-81106909.jpgDear Bacon –  With the cold weather coming, I have to use anything to keep my head warm.  They say if the head is warm, your entire body is warm.  I think this is doing the trick.  I found it in the miniature human’s room.  What do you think?  Signed Cat Heater

Dear Cat Heater – My friend.  I think you might want to rethink that head warmer.  Tell me it’s new and not slightly used too okay.  You see, that is not a head warmer.  That is one of the miniature humans butt warmers.  I’ve seen them.  What happens in them is not pretty.  Not pretty at all.  Although it does have a certain appeal as apparel, I’m afraid the other purr things in the hood might just laugh you out of the neighborhood and not let you play in their kitty games.  I’m just sayin’.

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Dear Bacon – Life is not fair.  Halloween only comes but once a year and I am so very glad.  Can you believe that my humans dressed me up like a poop factory for the big day?  I’m so humiliated.  Why couldn’t they dress up the small human that cries all of the time like this?  Why me?  I mean my poop is no more than the humans.  Really.  Please help me.  Signed Poop Factory

Dear Poop Factory – I have to admit my friend that the costume is very original.  I saw a lot of costumes on the big night but I think yours might be the icing on the cake.  I say wear it with pride.  I know it’s humiliating.  But I assure you that Christmas is just around the corner.  You know what needs to be done to the Christmas tree.  You know just as a token of your appreciate for this outfit.  Snorts.


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Dear Bacon – Where there’s a bag, you know a cat is there to play.  My buddy snapped this picture of me while I was playing pop goes the kitty in the bag.  Talk about perfect timing huh?  I think my abs look better than your pot belly.  What do you think?  Signed Abercrombie Cat

Dear Abercrombie Cat – OMP (Oh my pig).  That is hilarious.  This picture is so priceless that I’m going to let the shot of my physique just go right on by.  I say bravo to you and your brother for the perfect picture taking.  I think this needs to go viral, perhaps be in a Cats of 2015 calendar or a Christmas card.  Maybe even sneak on your parents Facebook account and post this picture.  Great job my friends.  Now, I’m off to look for me an equally charming shopping bag.  I wonder if they have one with James Bond somewhere here in the Hotel Thompson.

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20140719-223146-81106515.jpgDear Bacon – For some reason, I think there is an impersonator here in the room with me.  I woke up from one of my many naps this morning, waddled into the living room and found HIM.  HIM is not talking, not purring and not moving.  I think he’s trying to wait for me to turn my back.  I just know he is.  What do you think?  Signed Chucky

Dear Chucky – Oh my!  I think you need to be careful there little guy.  It looks like HIM is preparing to pounce on you.  That could be really dangerous.  I can only imagine what kind of damage he could do to you.  Shivers.  Thank goodness HIM is not here.  Be careful.  Maybe never turn your back to him.  That’s it.  Be vigilant!


Thanks my friends for your letters and pictures for my Dear Bacon issues.  I can’t do this without you.  Please remember to send me your letters/pictures to my email.  ❤ you!

 
32 Comments

Posted by on 11/04/2014 in Dear Bacon

 

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Bacon’s Show and Tell

Today we are highlighting a toy that you really loved as a child and absolutely could not live without – that you had hours and hours of entertainment.  

Today, I want to focus on mommy – the bookworm.  Yep, the bookworm.  As a child, she always had a book in her hand and was reading.  I think that is why it is so important for her to read me a bedtime story at night to this day.

When she was younger, she absolutely loved the Nancy Drew series.  OMP (oh my pig!)  Can you believe that we still have the original book series and the original lunch box here at the Hotel Thompson?  They are in one of her boxes marked childhood.  I’ll even tell you a secret.  Sometimes, she brings them out and reads them to this day.  I’ll be honest with you.  She might have even read some to this little piggy.  Awesome huh?

T 

 

 
35 Comments

Posted by on 08/29/2014 in Bacon, Bacon's Show and Tell

 

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2013 in review

Was I ever surprised with this years results.  It could have only happened with all of my friends here in blogville.  Thank you for reading along and supporting this little piggy in his mission of making people laugh.  Here’s a toast for an awesome new year in 2014!!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 30,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 11 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

 
36 Comments

Posted by on 12/31/2013 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon – Special Edition

Tis the season to be merry my friends!  Today, we have a very special issue of Dear Bacon.  I bet a lot of you know my special friend.  He’s been hanging (literally) around my house since Thanksgiving.  For those that don’t know him, I’ll tell you a little back ground.

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition came out in 2005 in a children’s book.  The little Elf that comes with the book has a job between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  His main job is to watch over the household and report back to the North Pole nightly on if the people are naughty or nice.  He comes back to the household by morning.  There’s one important thing about the Elf.  You don’t touch him as doing so will erase any Christmas magic that has been blessed upon him.  Every morning that he comes back from the North Pole, people in the household find him in different places.  But remember, it’s all magic!

So in honor of Christmas, we have the Thompson Elf – Don Juan – representing in the Dear Bacon issue.  We hope you enjoy.  XOXO – Bacon

Dear Don Juan,

You’re a fellow Elf.  You know times are hard working for the fat guy.  We work once a year.  It’s hard to make a living like this.  Sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do, right?  Signed Elf Burglar

Dear Elf Burglar,

Step.away.from.the.pig.  Don’t make me call the Elf Union.  Elves do not steal in the houses that we are to watch over.  Your special Christmas powers can be revoked with a snap of a finger.  You know there are other jobs you can work while in the off season.  I’ve heard Walmart is looking for door greeters.  Or perhaps you can join a traveling circus during down times.  Anything but stealing my fellow Elf.

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Dear Don Juan,

Last night, the humans they stayed up until the whee hours of the morning making cookies.  I just thought I would make my mark.  You like?  Signed Droopy

Dear Droopy,

I like and I approve.  This is what I’m talking about.  Good little elves help out around the house not steal.  Way to go my friend!

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Dear Don Juan,

I’ve read on Bacon’s blog that his human father likes to play Angry Birds.  Well, I thought I would share this photo for you to take notes on future escapades.  Enjoy my friend.  Signed Angry Elf

Dear Angry Elf,

That’s what I’m talking about!  Thanks for the idea.  I definitely will pursue this one tonight.. perhaps 🙂

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Dear Don Juan,

When you have to go, you gotta go.  The humans, they caught a picture of me in mid dunk.  Thank goodness I was holding on and the humans didn’t see me in action.  Signed Pepper Elf

Dear Pepper Elf,

Hey, you’re right.  It’s nature.  It’s part of life.  At least you’re potty trained.  Tis the season for magic in all forms.

.

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Dear Don Juan,

What?  We get kind of bored at night staying up all by ourselves.  Sometimes we get back from reporting in at the the North Pole early. We gotta do something in our spare time for just us.  I met this chick named Frankie Stein from Monster High.  Dude, she has some moves!  Signed Pole Elf

Dear Pole Elf,

Oh dear.  This can’t be good.  Where did you get that money?  And dear Lord, you’re sitting on baby food.  There’s a baby in the house.  Step away from the pole and tell Ms. Stein to put on some clothing.  Shakes head.. I may need to investigate this further.  Can you email me Ms. Stein’s telephone number?  You know, for my paperwork.

.

Dear Don Juan,

It’s just a little nick and tuck.  What can I say?  He was on the naughty list.  I had to do something to snap him into reality that this is the Christmas season.  Thoughts?  Signed Barber Elf

Dear Barber Elf,

Are you insane?!  We can’t do that.  That poor fellow is going to be scared for life.  Listen here you young Elf, report back to the North Pole ASAP.  I’ve gotta get this taken care of with the humans.  Where’s is that Easter bunny when you need him?

.

Dear blogville,  I hope you enjoyed this special of Dear Bacon – Elf on the Shelf.  Remember, tonight is the big night.  Make sure you’re extra good and leave out cookies.  I’ve heard Santa likes chocolate chip and macadamia.  Well, that’s what my human daddy tells me.  XOXO – Bacon

Note:  Pictures were sent in by friends of mom who emailed them to me with questions.

 
30 Comments

Posted by on 12/24/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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That Evil Elf on the Shelf

Go ahead, you can admit it.  That little Elf on the Shelf is evil looking.  You just *know* he’s up to trouble.  What?  You don’t know who he is?  Well my friend, you might just be one of the lucky ones during this holiday season.

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition came out in 2005 in a children’s book.  The little Elf that comes with the book has a job between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  His main job is to watch over the household and report back to the North Pole nightly on if the people are naughty or nice.  He comes back to the household by morning.  There’s one important thing about the Elf.  You don’t touch him as doing so will erase any Christmas magic that has been blessed upon him.  Every morning that he comes back from the North Pole, people in the household find him in different places.  But remember, it’s all magic!

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Cute story idea huh?  Sure it is.  But, have you seen this Elf?  Look to the left.  Shivers – he’s kind of a got a look in those eyes that makes you not want to turn your back to him.  And the idea of having him watching ‘over’ your household and reporting back to Santa every night, that’s kind of eerie.  It’s great on one hand when small children are in the home.  They walk the line with this little guy around.  I’m not sure if they are afraid of getting caught being naughty or if they are just plain scared of the psycho Elf.  He kind of reminds me of clowns… and that makes me want to run to my bedroom and hide under my toddler bed.

But I digress.  We have a Elf on the Shelf at the Hotel Thompson. Mom insists on dragging him out of the attic (great place for him all year) for Christmas.  There’s no kids here unless you count us anipals and daddy.  But mom insists. Every Thanksgiving, Elffie comes out and the story book is read.  And the good thing about these elves, you get to name yours.  Don’t ask me why because I believe it has to be a twist on a twist but ours is named Don Juan.  How ironic huh?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m afraid of that little six inch freak and so are the purr things.  We have had our moments of trying to ‘kidnap’ him and finish him off to no avail.  And supposedly Santa Claus has bestowed Christmas magic on him so he moves around the Hotel Thompson.  Yesterday morning, I woke up in my toddler bed and he was sleeping beside me looking at me with that mystic face.  I squealed so loudly that I think I woke up our neighbors.  That little misfit needs to stay out of my room thank you very much.  And, it’s not just me he’s doing stuff with.  Hemi, one of the purr things here, woke up the day before with that little creature asleep on his back.  Hemi hissed to the high heavens and swatted at it with his big paw.

And, our friends – snorts.  They are going through the same thing this time of the year with their ‘magical’ elves.  One of dad’s buddies got up one morning, stumbled to the bathroom and took a shower.  When he looked up, their little voyeur elf was watching him over the shower curtain.  Talk about a psycho moment.

The same household as the shower episode, the next day the man’s wife found their little elf in her lingerie drawer.  WTP (what the pig!)  No wonder people walk on eggshells around the holidays with these little monsters running rampid.

So tell me, do you have a mischievous little elf in your house during the holidays?  Is he getting into trouble or is he behaving (which I would find very strange).  I’m thinking that all of these elves are cloned in the same factory of trouble.  Perhaps us anipals need to ban together and write a letter to the Elf Union.  These guys are trouble – I’m telling you TROUBLE.

 
37 Comments

Posted by on 12/20/2013 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl

 

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I Received a Package!

I love Christmas!!  Last week was really hectic here at the Hotel Thompson.  Mom and dad had parties to attend, people to visit and lists to make.  One night, mom came home to a package on the door step.  I just *knew* it was for me – snorts.

Mom brought it in and I helped to open it up.  OMP (oh my pig!)  This was totally unexpected.  I got a package from my brother from another mother – Easy at http://easyweimaraner.wordpress.com/  Talk about excitement and tail wagging.  I almost took flight right there in the Hotel.  ♥

 Play toys – which might I add the purr things went crazy for.  Which I was kind of glad because it kept them away from me for just a tad bit so I could look at my SUPER HERO shirt – thud!  Finally, I can be a SUPER HERO – Spider Pig.  And mom, she’s such a softy.  In the upper right hand of the picture, there is a book on piggies.  There are some of the cutest little darlings in that book.  Mom boo-hooed like a little girl oohh and aaww over the piggies.  It is a great and wonderful coffee table book.  In fact, mommy took it to work to put on her office table.

This time of the year has been made so special to me.  Thanks my brother for thinking of me and the others here at the Hotel Thompson.  And as your card stated, I really wish we could have Christmas together.  Perhaps one year 🙂

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22 Comments

Posted by on 12/16/2013 in Bacon

 

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I KNEW IT – Cats Are Attempting to Take Over the World

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I know it’s kind of a dark picture.  I couldn’t get my hooves to work the right way with the camera the other night.  These are the purr things at the Hotel Thompson – Hemi and Mouse Girl.  Hemi is the orange one on top of the couch and princess Mouse Girl is the black/white one on the lower part of the couch.

This is how we all usually end up at the end of the day.  The purr things on the big couch with daddy and I’m on my couch with mommy.  Not that we purposely separate or anything – it’s just how it ends up.  We all have our *spots* as you would say.

Don’t let those cute, adorable, sleeping purr things fool you though.  They have evil in them.  No offense to any of my purr friends here.  But I know.  I secretly know that you are attempting to take over the world.  It’s as simple as that.  And maybe – just maybe – I will let you as long as you let me be your side kick… and you let me wear a cape – wink!

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I learned all of this information the other day.  You’re wondering what brought me to this realization.  I  found it.  I found the purr things manual.  They strategically placed it in the house.  Dad actually picked it up.  It almost burned in his hands – snort.

Uh huh – it all makes sense now in this book “How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You.” 

Cats – ya’ll have a wicked sense of humor!  It reminds me of someone I know.  So I’m thinking this post should be a public announcement on the warning of these beautiful creatures.  – Enjoy – XOXO – Bacon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 03/21/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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