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Snorts – That Should Give Mom a Heart Attack

Poor mom.  I think daddy is actually trying to throw her over the edge.  I wonder if he’s taking out an insurance policy on her lately?  I must check this.  What?  I watch enough of crime television.  Snorts – I just joke.  We are looking for a new shower curtain for the bathroom.

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Is it bad enough that he found this shower curtain on line? Can you imagine taking a shower and seeing this?  Or better yet, I can see mommy getting up in the middle of the night, going to the bathroom and seeing this.  I just *know* she would squeal louder than me.  Would you?

I mean it does have character – snorts – and it would be fun.  Daddy saw it and laughed like a little hyena.  Of course, he showed it to me.  I told him not to do it.  I gently reminder him of what happened a couple of weeks ago when he said “BOO” to mom.  We don’t want that to happen again now do we?

20140330-185106.jpgBut dad, he doesn’t learn.  He kept surfing the net and came across a floormat for the bathroom as well.  Shakes piggy head.  Daddy is so going to get in trouble.  This floor mat turns ‘red’ when you get out of the shower and water hits it.  Of course, thus it looks like blood… a crime scene if you will.

Between the shower curtain and the floor mat, I can see daddy getting knocked into the middle of next week – snorts.  But I have to admit, that floormat does look fun.

Have a great day my friends!

 
34 Comments

Posted by on 04/11/2014 in Bacon

 

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Southern Home Security System

Life can be hard – really hard.  With as much crime that is going around, I fear for mom/dad in their safety.  I’ve done a LOT of research on this and found the perfect southern home security system.  I saw an advertisement on the internet that was perfect.  And it has to work, right?  I mean everything on the internet is true – snorts.

So, friends fear no more.  This is the perfect plan that was posted.

  1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
  2. Place said pair of work boots on your front porch along with a copy of the Guns & Ammo magazine.
  3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
  4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.  Don’t mess with the pit bulls.  They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all of the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.  Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Cooter 

Happy Friday my friends!!  XOXO – Bacon

 
35 Comments

Posted by on 01/24/2014 in Bacon

 

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