Southern Home Security System

Life can be hard – really hard.  With as much crime that is going around, I fear for mom/dad in their safety.  I’ve done a LOT of research on this and found the perfect southern home security system.  I saw an advertisement on the internet that was perfect.  And it has to work, right?  I mean everything on the internet is true – snorts.

So, friends fear no more.  This is the perfect plan that was posted.

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
2. Place said pair of work boots on your front porch along with a copy of the Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.  Don’t mess with the pit bulls.  They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all of the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.  Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Cooter 

 

Boo! High Heels

Oh ladies – do you have those favorite pair of high heels sitting in your closet?  You know the ones – the ones with the red bottoms that you just can’t live without?

Did you know that high heels were originally created for men to wear?  Butchers wore them in their shops so they could avoid stepping in blood.  Okay – you can say it now.  EEWW – can you imagine that?!

Of course, mom says that it might be kind of fun watching some big masculine men walking around in high heels.  Lord knows she’s not thinking of daddy here at the Hotel Thompson.  That father of mine can barely walk around wearing tennis shoes – snorts!

So the next time you put on those fabulous pair of pumps, think of how the originated.  Then put them on and vogue it my friends!

 

Journey with Friends

Welcome my friends to our weekly issue of Journey with Friends.  This is a time that we come together for support, for encouragement, for fellowship – all with one single goal in mind – to live better.  Welcome to our journey to share our goals and our accomplishments and our disappointments and frustrations.

Together we can do this!

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 Hello my sweet friends!  How was your week last week?  I’m thinking in the past couple of weeks, I need a pat on the back.  Why do you ask?  Let me tell you some facts 🙂  The first week I started, I walked 10.41 miles total.  I was encouraged.  Last week, I only walked 7.95 miles due to my pain levels being really high from my rheumatoid arthritis and my hip bursitis. But although I was in pain, I ate clean.  So eating clean and moving more, drum roll please, I weighed Saturday.  And guess what?  Are you sitting down?  I’m down 16 pounds since we got back from vacation.  Now that to me is amazing.  That weight loss is from 3 weeks and it’s a high number but I usually start off that way and then narrow down every week.  I’m *beyond* excited.  Tomorrow I go for my yearly insurance biometrics so that will also give me some panel blood numbers to go by when I get my blood work done again in three months.

So I’m excited.  How did you do my friends?

Miles Walked Since 06/13/2016:  18.36 miles

 

31 Days of Spook – Help Me

Today I present to you a scenario.  What if you bought a house and moved hoping to start fresh.  You pull up the carpets to put down hard wood floor and you find what is in this picture below.  What do you do?  Thoughts?  It could happen… you never know.  And I’m not saying that mom/dad did this to their flooring when they remodeled this year… nope not saying that at all.

 

31 Days of Spook – High Heels

Oh ladies – do you have those favorite pair of high heels sitting in your closet?  You know the ones – the ones with the red bottoms that you just can’t live without?  Did you know that high heels were originally created for men to wear?  Butchers wore them in their shops so they could avoid stepping in blood.  Okay – you can say it now.  EEWW – can you imagine that?!

Of course, mom says that it might be kind of fun watching some big masculine men walking around in high heels.  Lord knows she’s not thinking of daddy here at the Hotel Thompson.  That father of mine can barely walk around wearing tennis shoes – snorts!

So the next time you put on those fabulous pair of pumps, think of how the originated.  Then put them on and vogue it my friends!

 

Snorticles – Way to go Daddy!

   Friends – I want to tell you a story about my daddy.  You know there is a love/hate relationship that goes on between us.  Nothing to fear really.  But sometimes my daddy can be so darn goofy that I have to rat him out.  This is one of those cases – snorts with piggy laughter.

Mom had to go back to the doctors office this morning for a follow up.  At that point, the doctor told her that he wanted to take some blood to do blood work on the situation.  Of course, it helps to know that my mom *hates* needles.  If she doesn’t see it coming, she’s relatively okay.  But, if she sees the situation, it’s not good.

So the nurse comes in to draw the blood while daddy and the doctor watch.  Mom sees the needle – bad move Ms. Nurse.  So mom is flinching and shivering.  Daddy tells her to mom up and suck it up.  Perhaps that should be put on dad’s headstone… “Told mom to suck it up.”  Because you know mom’s head probably turned all the way around at this time to fuss at that daddy of mine.  Who you also have to know is a jokester at heart and didn’t say this to mom to be mean.

Well about that time, the doctor tells the nurse to hold on for a minute.  The doctor then asks daddy when he had blood work done last.  HA!  Way to go Mr. Doctor.  So guess who got blood work drawn before mommy – snorts with piggy laughter.  Way to go daddy in putting your size 10 foot in your mouth.  And yes, mommy might have told daddy to suck it up too.

And of course after daddy’s blood work, the nurse knew better than to show mommy the needle this time.  Afterwards, mom/dad walked out hand and hand with their taped arms.  Oh for those keeping up, that’s dad’s arm with the pretty PINK tape – snorts and oinks my friends.

  

 

Alligator Mosquito

  That’s right I said it – ALLIGATOR MOSQUITO.  Here in the south, we have large vultures that we call mosquito’s.  But this year, it seems worse.  These little vultures seem like alligators and are very aggressive in nature.  I’m tired of them.  I think they need to go somewhere else and bug someone else.

Heck, mommy says that instead of sucking blood – why can’t they suck fat?  By the way they have been acting lately, she would be a size zero!

 

Netflix Series

Have you watched this television series? I think it showed originally on Showtime.  (This picture was taken off of Google for the 8th Season).  The entire show is about Dexter Morgan who is a blood splatter expert working in Miami, Florida for the Miami Metro Police Department.  What people don’t know is that secretly Dexter is a serial killer.  Now saying serial killer brings to mind a bad person – an insane person, right?  I guess in a way it still rings true but Dexter is a little different.  He only kills people that deserve it.  Sounds weird huh?  We are talking about people that kill that get off in the court system or people that kill that others don’t know about.

While it was on Showtime, we didn’t watch it… you know for obvious reasons – we didn’t have Showtime 🙂 Snorts!  But when it went to Netflix, I put that show in my queue so fast and started watching it… all eight seasons!

Now we couldn’t watch while the purr things or Houdini was still awake.  Me and mom had to wait until they went to bed and were asleep and then we would watch 1-2 shows every night.

Now I want you to think about this.  There was eight seasons and about 12-13 shows per season.  So mom and this little oinker invested probably around 100 hours of watching around 104 shows.  No, we didn’t do this overnight.  Yes, we did it during downtime.  What?  Can’t a pig have a favorite show?

If you haven’t watched the shows, I’m not going to give anything away.  But I will tell you that we went through a LOT of drama, a lot of killings, a lot of twists and a lot of plots that made your mouth hang wide.  I started to know the characters like family.  I grew fond of some of them.  And after watching the shows, me and mom would discuss what happened.

The first three seasons we watched within a matter of weeks.  They kept me on my piggy hooves while covering one eye and jumping at surprises.  Yes, they were that good.

Season 4 through 7 were okay.  Something happened along the way.  You see Dexter was trying to be ‘normal’.  He even got married and had a baby.  All of this was great.

Then there was season 8, the final season.  To us, this is where things seemed rushed.  Have you ever read a book that was so good all the way through it and then in the last chapter you learn that everything was a dream?  Well, it was kind of like this to us.  It was so good but the last show of season 8 left us wanting.  There was so much more that could have happened.  I mean, yes there are only so many killings that a serial killer can do but it just felt empty here.  Too many things happened in the last show that your brain doesn’t have time to process it.  Then when it does, your brain is like WTF just happened… pardon the bad language.

Have you seen this series?  What did you think?  Discuss.

 

31 Days of Spook – High Heels

Oh ladies – do you have those favorite pair of high heels sitting in your closet?  You know the ones – the ones with the red bottoms that you just can’t live without?

Did you know that high heels were originally created for men to wear?  Butchers wore them in their shops so they could avoid stepping in blood.  Okay – you can say it now.  EEWW – can you imagine that?!

Of course, mom says that it might be kind of fun watching some big masculine men walking around in high heels.  Lord knows she’s not thinking of daddy here at the Hotel Thompson.  That father of mine can barely walk around wearing tennis shoes – snorts!

So the next time you put on those fabulous pair of pumps, think of how the originated.  Then put them on and vogue it my friends!

 

31 Days of Spook – Help Me

Welcome to 31 Days of Spook my friends.  Today I present to you a scenario.  What if you bought a house and moved hoping to start fresh.  You pull up the carpets to put down hard wood floor and you find what is in this picture below.  What do you do?  Thoughts?  It could happen… you never know.