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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
You think you have it bad at your house with time out.  HA – you have nothing on our mom.  When we are bad and not getting along, instead of standing in a corner she makes us stand nose to nose until we can get along.  It’s the pits little dude.  Signed Trouble Times Two

Dear Trouble Times Two,
You won’t be upset if I don’t show mommy this letter.  There’s no way I’m standing nose to nose with Mouse Girl the purr thing here.  Eeww – she’s a girl!

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Dear Bacon,
I read about your ancestry with football.  Just be thankful that your dad just tells you stories.  My human loves that football team called Alabama.  And their mascot just happens to be an elephant.  So on game day, guess what my human does to me?  You guessed it.  It’s so humiliating. Signed Little Al

Dear Little Al,
I am so sorry my friend.  You’re dad likes Alabama?  There are just no words that I can express for that. I guess someone has to like that team. Bless his little ole heart.

P.S. Cute costume.

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Dear Bacon,
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?  I’ve been trying for weeks and I just can’t reach it but I’m determined. Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,
Oh thank goodness.  For a minute there, I thought you were sticking your tongue out at me.  I have a little bit longer tongue and it is close to my snout.  I’m going to have to practice this tonight in the mirror.  I’ll keep you posted my friend!

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Dear Bacon,
I had to get new glasses.  My vision is just not what it used to be.  Do you think these glasses make my head look big?  Signed Who Four Eyes

Dear Who Four Eyes,
No my friend.  Shaking piggy head.  They do not make your head look big at all.  Your head looks just fine.  Don’t give a hoot on what other people think.  Your vision comes first, yes indeedy.  If anything, I think those glasses bring your eyes out more.  They’re hootiful!

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20130724-231855.jpgDear Bacon,
I’m thinking about going on Maury Povich and having my so called son’s DNA checked out.  My wife well I just don’t think she’s been faithful.  What do you think my friend?  Signed Cloned

Dear Cloned,
Listen, I can save you a lot of time, money and energy.  The DNA test results are in and they are saying that you are 99.9% that babies daddy.  Just look in a mirror my friend.  There’s really no way it can lie.  Embrace your parent hood.

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Remember friends – keep your pictures and questions coming to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

Thanks for another great week!

 
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Posted by on 10/01/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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