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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’ve made a grave mistake here.  I thought I could jump over the little seat thing that kids swing on… I really did.  I jumped and mean old Mr. Gravity said, “Nope, not today”.  I really hate that guy.  So I guess you can say I’m stuck between a swing and hard place.. .namely the ground.  Any suggestions cause apparently my human who thinks it is hilarious is too busy taking my picture to lend me a paw.  Crazy human.  Signed Swinger

Dear Swinger – You know that’s the problem these days.  When anything happens, humans want to pull out their cell phones and take videos or pictures instead of lending a helping hand.  I don’t get it?  Burning car on the highway – no problems let me video tape it first before checking for survivors.  House on fire – oh yeah this will be good on my Facebook before putting the fire out.  Dog caught with his kibbles and bits up in the air – no worries.  Let’s get this picture first before the pooch passes out or by all means gets unlatched himself.  I definitely feel you my friend.  Can you bounce up with your front paws to get your back paws back on the ground and then wiggle out from that contraption?  Let me know if I need to call someone…. I’m hoping you are free like the wind now 🙂


Dear Bacon – I *know* I saw that darned squirrel on this tree.  I know I did.  He was running around on the ground taunting me.  I know he’s here somewhere.  If you see him, let me know okay.  Signed Hunter

Dear Hunter – Oh my friend, I’ve seen him alright.  He’s a sneaky sly little fellow.  I would go as far as to say that he has skills of unnatural means.  Put your paws down on the ground silently.  Now just as silently and be careful of the crunch of the leaves, slowly walk around the trunk of that massive tree.  Quiet now.  You don’t want to scare the little fellow.  You may find him around on the other side watching you… waiting for you to leave.  Smart little guy huh?  Enjoy playing tag my friend.


Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  I found this wonderful food on the ground.  It’s awesome!  So much chocolate.  There I was sitting in my tree enjoying it.  That’s when the weird stuff happened that I don’t get.  My friends kept walking by and saying, “Georgia eat a Snickers bar.  You know you’re not you when you’re hungry”.  Shakes head in confusion.  I don’t get it.  Do you?  Between you and me though, that Snickers bar did hit the spot.  Signed George

Dear George – Snorts with piggy laughter.  You don’t watch television much do you my friend?  You see there were some wonderful Snickers commercials out some time ago that had the saying, “You’re not you when you’re hungry”.  Okay, maybe the better thing to do here is to show you one of them…. one of my favorites.  Then it will ALL make sense.  Enjoy my friend.


Dear Bacon – I think the purr things here are pranking me.  They said they had a surprise for me.  They then told me I had to put my paws over my eyes and stay that way until they came back.  That was three days ago.  Do you think it’s save to go to the bathroom.  I really, REALLY need to go now?  Signed Waiting

Dear Waiting – Shakes head.  Oh my friend.  Don’t you know yet that purr things are horrific for doing such things to us?  The two here try to do these things to me as well.  But I don’t fall for it.  You can never trust a purr thing – sorry my cat friends.  But you know it’s true to.  Ya’ll are beyond devious and you have so much training from years and years of taking care of yourselves.  I bow down to you.  I really do.  So why don’t ya’ll do all of us a favor and leave us alone.  And Waiting – by all means go to the potty before you explode like a balloon.


Dear Bacon – My humans are wickedly bad at this torture.  They really are.  There we were watching some superheros on our television.  I was minding my own business and just enjoying the company on the couch.  My dad said that all superheros need a mask.  He was eating a sandwich so well you can see what he did.  Why?  That’s all I really need to say, right?  Why?  Signed Masked Bandit

Dear Masked Bandit – Oh my friend.  You have to give your dad something on creativity.  And you have to admit that it is pretty cute.  No one would ever guess that’s you behind the bread.  Nope not at all!

 

 


REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 
23 Comments

Posted by on 08/11/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Lake Placid Marathon – Spoilers

Oh this was a GREAT weekend.  Mom and dad decided to have a Lake Placid movie marathon Saturday night.  We didn’t go to bed until we saw all FOUR movies.  Shivers – we got the popcorn and soda out. – it was great.  They even let me stay up with them and watch them all.  Have you seen these movies?  They have a little bit of horror mixed with some good lines of comedy.  They are a MUST see.  Here’s a breakdown:

20140414-101317.jpg Movie #01 –

This is the beginning of the four movies that came out in 1999.  It all starts in Lincoln County, Maine at Black Lake.  What a nice pleasant sounding name huh?  This movie stars Bill Pullman as Jack Wells, Bridget Fonda as Kelly Scott and Betty White as Delores Bickerman.  Strange things are happening on the lake.  Jack and Kelly start to investigate and they witness Delores blind folding a cow and feeding the cow to an enormous crocodile.  After they confront Delores, she admits that the crocodile followed her husband home one day and they fed it.  Years later, the crocodile ‘accidentally’ ate her husband.  But instead of being upset, Delores kept feeding it treating it like it was one of her kids.   And might I add, Delores has some of the best lines in this movie.

Towards the end of the movie, there was actually two crocodiles in the lake.  One does die and in the last seen you see one surviving adult tied to the back of a flat bed truck speeding down the road towards Portland, Maine.

But don’t worry, in the last scenes you also see Delores feeding bread crumbs to several baby crocodiles leading us to believe that the two that were original had mated.  YES!  So this brings us to Movie #02.

Movie #0220140414-101324.jpg

Lake Place 2 came out in 2007.  This movie starred John Schneider as Sheriff Riley and Sarah LaFleur as Emma Warner and Cloris Leachman as Sadie Bickerman (who is Delores’ sister from movie #01).  It picks up from the first one.  Delores has passed away and her sister Sadie is now living in the cabin near the water.  A researcher has disappeared on the lake and the sheriff and Emma (from Wildlife and Game) are investigating.  They get attacked early on by a 20 foot crocodile and here we go all over again.

But this time, there’s a twist.  You see Sadie has been feeding the crocodiles now.  Not just anything but with hormone enhanced meat and this is why they are so large.  And the crocs have mated and everyone finds a large nest of giant eggs.  Oh hog heavens – this one will keep you on the edge of your seat – trust me!

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Movie #03

Lake Placid 3 came out in 2010.  It still takes place on Black Lake in Maine.  At this time Sadie Bickerman has passed away.  Her son, Nathan, (played by Colin Ferguson) along with his wife Susan and their little boy Connor are at the cabin packing things up for sale.  Conner starts chasing a lizard towards the lake where he sees baby crocodiles.  Conner keeps the babies a secret and refers to them as ‘his pets’.  He starts feeding them and they start growing really fast.

This movie also brings Reba (played by Yancy Butler) to the screen.  I have to say that Reba really makes the movie.  She is a poacher that doesn’t really follow the rules of the law.  AND she has a mouth on her – let me tell you she can feel UP the swear jar here at the Hotel Thompson during this movie – snorts.

All I can say is towards the end of the movie, don’t move.  Wait for it and you’ll see what I mean.  Then this brings us to Movie #04.

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Movie #04

Lake Placid: The Final Chapter came out in 2012.  This brings back our friend Reba who was a poacher in Movie #03 but now is working as an EPA Agent.  Not because she had a change of heart but rather it’s part of her judgement from being a poacher in movie #03 – snorts.  The people in the town thought it would be a wonderful thing to build an electric fence around Black Lake and turn the lake into a crocodile sanctuary.  Sounds all nice huh?  NOT!

One night the fence gets left open and you know a field trip of kids are on the way to the other lake.  But the driver is checking out his cell phone instead of watching the road and goes through the gate to Black Lake.  So here we go – the kids are at the wrong lake and you know the crocodiles are going to come out and play – and they do!

Don’t let “The Final Chapter” fool you.  Stay to the end again.  I guess they can make a Lake Placid – Really The Final Chapter if they want to.  Snorts – hope you check these movies out.  They are really good.  And I have to admit – me and mommy jumped maybe a half of a dozen times while watching these Saturday night.  These are probably what you call b-rated movies that have played on the SyFy channel numerous times.  It doesn’t matter – they were great to watch.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 04/21/2014 in Bacon

 

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