Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – There is *always* that one friend.  You know the one that ‘dares’ you to do something and says, “What are you afraid”?  Why did I have to fall for it.  Can you tell me that?  And then if that wasn’t bad enough, Ethel has to then photobomb me and take a picture for her Facebook account.  Dude, I long for the days before all of this social media.  Signed Jack

Dear Jack – WOW.  I see that you are in a predicament my friend.  I don’t even know Ethel dared you to do but the how the heck did you get out of that funky position?  Of course, for payback and before she photobombed you all you had to do was lift that left leg in a strategic position and that would smack that smirk right off of her face – snorts.  You know friend, this just screams for payback.  And make it GOOD.  I mean really GOOD.  And then post it on your Facebook account… or perhaps get Christmas cards made.  Now that sounds like a plan of destruction.  Keep me posted with the results and don’t take any more dares anytime soon okay.

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Dear Bacon – HA!  This will teach my humans.  I ran away from home and they have yet to find me.  What do you think?  Am I the master of disguises or what?  Signed Hide N Seek Master

Dear Hide N Seek Master – You are the boss my friend.  I had to take several looks myself to see which ‘rock’ was you.  And your parents haven’t found you yet.  That’s so awesome.  Just remember to come out in time for dinner okay.

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Dear Bacon – They said I could do and be anything I wanted.  So I decided I wanted to water ski.  And let me tell you something – it is fantastic!  So invigorating.  It makes me feel like I weigh nothing at all.  I highly recommend it my friend.  Signed Weightless

Dear Weightless – You know you have my interest piqued now my friend.  I think I may try this soon… especially since mom/dad are sending me to this awful thing called C.A.M.P.  Stay safe.

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Dear Bacon – Have you ever just had one of those days that you needed a little something to take the edge off?  This was me last weekend.  I just couldn’t take chasing the postman anymore… or tying up and blaming the cat for everything.  I needed a little liquid refreshment in a place where everyone knew my name and it was a fun place.  And hey, this wine is awesome.  Have you ever felt like this?  Signed Stud at the Bar

Dear Stud at the Bar – Oh yes indeed.  There are days that I feel the world is overcoming me… especially this past weekend.  We could have met up my friend.  Perhaps split a bottle of Francis Ford Coppola wine and whined on each other’s shoulders or downfalls in life in general.  I’m sure it would have been a blast.  Call me next time okay.

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Dear Bacon – I’m not sure my son gets the full effect of my look here.  This is my what.do.you.mean.you.want.to.stay.out.all. night.long.partying.look.  Does it work for you?  Do I need to change something for more of an effect?  Any suggestions?  Signed Dad in Charge

Dear Dad in Charge – I think you have the look down pact.  Did you follow it with, “Not while you are living under my roof?” and “While you are living under my roof, you will obey my rules”?  That usually works when my dad uses them on us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson.  Maybe take away his allowance.  That *always* hurts this little oinker where it counts.  Good luck with your son my friend.  Just think of these as his teenage rocky years.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures to my email address.  🙂

 

 

Dear Management at the Hotel Thompson

Dear Management of the Hotel Thompson,

It is with great sadness that I feel the need to write this letter.  Room service and snacks have been a great disappointment on the weekends.  It seems to me that the entire weekend service has gone down.  During the week, I have no issues.  It is strictly on schedule and you know how I am about my little piggy routine.  On the other hand, the weekends seem to have no routine.

I’m fine with breakfast being late.  Heck, we all like to sleep in a little on the weekends.  However, it seems that with a late breakfast, there is no room service of a mid morning snack.  The shock of that!  My little piggy system can’t take a missed meal.  With this rate, I’m going to shrivel up to nothing soon. 

And with weekends, I’m suppose to get a lot of piggy/mommy time.  What’s up with leaving this pig all alone for a couple of hours?  Am I going to have to report this establishment to PFACS (Pig Family and Children Services).  I don’t think I’m old enough to be left all alone.  What if something happens?  My hooves don’t help me when I need to push buttons on the telephone.  Maybe you need to get me a lifeline medical alert just in case something happens and I need to push a button.  What if I fall and can’t get up? 

Also, what’s up with this manual pig labor on Sundays?  I’m being made to help ‘clean’ my room.  I thought that was what turn down service was all about.  I actually have to pull my blanket to the laundry room to be washed.  The horrors of that.  That’s free piggy labor.  I don’t even get an allowance or anything. 

Please management of the Hotel Thompson, can you please address these issues and take them to heart.  Just make a few changes?

Signed, You’re well behaved pig – you’re favorite pet – you’re baby, Bacon