Facts and Funnies about Mom’s Smart Car Albert

This is Albert.  Albert is mom’s Smart car.  I know. I know.  Mom’s names her cars.  She’s weird like that – snorts.  In this picture, it almost looks like Albert is smiling.  And you know what is worse than mommy naming her cars?  She and dad talk to Albert like a person.  I think that’s just weird.  But hey, she loves her little car.  Have you made the connection yet with mom and her love of small things?  Look at me, I’m small too.  Weird or what huh?

Mom has had Albert for a couple of years now and she loves him as much today as she did when she bought him.  She gets jokes about him every day from friends, family and co-workers.  I thought I would take this time to tell you some myths and facts about Albert.

#1 – Mom has a wicked sense of humor, if you haven’t caught on to that by now – snorts.  Since it is a Smart Car, she named it Albert.  You know after Albert Einstein.  This is a FACT.

#2 – Albert is a gas powered Smart Fortwo Passion.  He is only three cylinders and does great on gas.  Mom fills up about once a month for around $25.00.  This is a FACT. 

#3 – Oil changes are every 10,000 miles!  This is a FACT.  When you get your oil changed, mom ‘resets’ her calculator in the car, it counts down from 10,000 to let her know when it’s time for the next oil change.  She averages getting it changed around once a year.

 #4 – You can go shopping in it.  This is a FACT.  Mommy has been grocery shopping and put over $200.00 worth of groceries in the back of it with no problems!  And, the back is a perfect place for me to hang out when we are driving all around town.

#5 – Having a Smart car is like being in a club.  This is a FACT.  When mommy passes another Smart car, it’s like they’re old friends.  They honk horns and wave at each.  It’s embarrassing when I’m in the car – snorts.

#6 – Yes it is true.  Mommy took Albert to the car wash one weekend with daddy.  It was one of those drive thru places.  They got stuck in the middle because Albert didn’t weigh enough for the track to pick him up.  They learned their lesson on this one – snorts

These are just a few comments mommy has heard about Albert.  I’m not sure which one I feel sorrier for – mommy or Albert – snorts

“Where is the wind up key on that toy?”  This is actually a funny thing because there is a part that you can order to attach to the back of the car to look like a wind up toy.  Mommy has really thought about it.

“Hey, I tripped over your car in the parking lot.”

When there’s a big storm outside and mommy is at work, they will tell her, “Hey, you better go tie down your car, it’s going to get blown away”. OR “You need to put floaties on that car, a storm is a coming.”

“Hey, it looks like they installed a new speed bump in the parking lot.  Oh no, my bad.  It’s just your car.”

“Where do you buy your tires?  Lawn mower section of Home Depot?”

“You know why they named it Smart Car?  Because Golf Cart was already taken.”

“Better make sure a bird doesn’t take a crap on it.  It will total it out.”

“You need to wash your car?  I’ll throw a cup of water on it for you.”

 

Way To Go Albert!

Some of you remember mommy buying her little Smart Car last Spring. This is it in the picture to the right. She just loves that little car. Can you understand her miniature phase? Miniature pot bellied pig – miniature car. Yep, mom is hooked – snorts.

It is a small car. Mom named it “Albert”. Do you get it? It’s a Smart car and Albert Einstein was smart thus she named it Albert. Funny how mom’s brain works that way, right? Double snorts.

 

It’s really bigger than you think on the inside. It doesn’t ‘drive’ small. It drives like a big car. This is the back of Albert opened up. See, lots of space in there. AND, the bottom part of the ‘trunk’ opens up for storage. The back part is just big enough for me to sit in and oink while mom rides me around town. I love that! There’s also enough space back there that mommy feels it up when she goes to the grocery store.

 

And this picture shows you the inside of Albert. It’s really not bad. Mom/Dad get in it and put around on the weekends all of the time. Now, the downside is that Albert is only a 3 cylinder. Yep, I said THREE cylinder. So, power is not the upmost when mom goes back and forth from the worky place.

 

 

And the best part is in this picture. There is a mat that rolls back so you can let the sun shine inside. It’s great to feel that sun on my little piggy body when we are driving. But don’t get me wrong. Albert has a great air conditioner/heater, radio, etc.

 

I tell you all of this because Albert turned 1 last week. Mommy has had him an entire year. Albert had to go in for his first physical and oil change – oil changes are only done every 10,000 miles! It took mom an entire year to get there.

He passed with flying colors! Way to go Lil Albert! Sniff – sniff, he’s growing up. I think him and our other car, Tank, (he’s a Equinox) had a little party in the driveway. They’re close like that.

But do you know what is funny? When mom comes home from the worky place, sometimes the kids in the neighborhood try to ‘race’ her down the street to our house. Now, she could beat them if she wanted to but she doesn’t. She lets them win every single time. Isn’t she the best?