This is Albert. Albert is mom’s Smart car. I know. I know. Mom’s names her cars. She’s weird like that – snorts. In this picture, it almost looks like Albert is smiling. And you know what is worse than mommy naming her cars? She and dad talk to Albert like a person. I think that’s just weird. But hey, she loves her little car. Have you made the connection yet with mom and her love of small things? Look at me, I’m small too. Weird or what huh?
Mom has had Albert for a couple of years now and she loves him as much today as she did when she bought him. She gets jokes about him every day from friends, family and co-workers. I thought I would take this time to tell you some myths and facts about Albert.
#1 – Mom has a wicked sense of humor, if you haven’t caught on to that by now – snorts. Since it is a Smart Car, she named it Albert. You know after Albert Einstein. This is a FACT.
#2 – Albert is a gas powered Smart Fortwo Passion. He is only three cylinders and does great on gas. Mom fills up about once a month for around $25.00. This is a FACT.
#3 – Oil changes are every 10,000 miles! This is a FACT. When you get your oil changed, mom ‘resets’ her calculator in the car, it counts down from 10,000 to let her know when it’s time for the next oil change. She averages getting it changed around once a year.
#4 – You can go shopping in it. This is a FACT. Mommy has been grocery shopping and put over $200.00 worth of groceries in the back of it with no problems! And, the back is a perfect place for me to hang out when we are driving all around town.
#5 – Having a Smart car is like being in a club. This is a FACT. When mommy passes another Smart car, it’s like they’re old friends. They honk horns and wave at each. It’s embarrassing when I’m in the car – snorts.
#6 – Yes it is true. Mommy took Albert to the car wash one weekend with daddy. It was one of those drive thru places. They got stuck in the middle because Albert didn’t weigh enough for the track to pick him up. They learned their lesson on this one – snorts
These are just a few comments mommy has heard about Albert. I’m not sure which one I feel sorrier for – mommy or Albert – snorts
“Where is the wind up key on that toy?” This is actually a funny thing because there is a part that you can order to attach to the back of the car to look like a wind up toy. Mommy has really thought about it.
“Hey, I tripped over your car in the parking lot.”
When there’s a big storm outside and mommy is at work, they will tell her, “Hey, you better go tie down your car, it’s going to get blown away”. OR “You need to put floaties on that car, a storm is a coming.”
“Hey, it looks like they installed a new speed bump in the parking lot. Oh no, my bad. It’s just your car.”
“Where do you buy your tires? Lawn mower section of Home Depot?”
“You know why they named it Smart Car? Because Golf Cart was already taken.”
“Better make sure a bird doesn’t take a crap on it. It will total it out.”
“You need to wash your car? I’ll throw a cup of water on it for you.”