Here is the proof – dad is on crack.
He’s been on it for over two weeks now and he is fully addicted. He says the power is so strong that he lives and breathes this crack. Poor dad. He needs to go into rehab to get off of it. I don’t really blame mom. I mean hey, she did cook it up but it’s not like she forced dad to get hooked. I guess in a way you can say mom is the pusher though. Why else would she keep this junk in the house where daddy can find it and overdose in it. I would like to say I feel sorry for daddy but he’s not sharing the good stuff he said. So I don’t know how addictive it is or not.
And trust me, mom put the works in this stuff. Pretzel sticks, peanuts, peanut butter M&M’s, raisins and butterscotch drops. That was a full bucket. But every time daddy goes into the kitchen, he comes out with a paw full. Poor daddy – shakes piggy head – what a user!.
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Okay I admit it. I’m addicted. I’m addicted to the ID channel. You know – investigative discovery. It could be a worse. I could have a gambling problem. I could have a money problem. I could be addicted to the ladies. Nope – I’m addicted to Investigative Discovery. I can’t help it.
Behind Mansion Walls, Disappeared , Catch My Killer, Dateline, Nightmare Next Door, On the Case with Paula Zahn, Homicide Hunter, Redrum, Swamp Murders, Southern Fried Homicide – these are just a few of the shows that get my piggy blood pumping!
Some people ask what is in my Netflix que or recorded to tape on my television – now you know. I love a good who did it show. I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat, get out my Columbo cigar, my pencil and notebook. Yep, I’m addicted. Do you know else is addicted right there with me? Nods head up and down, yep my mommy.
Daddy says we watch too many of these shows. I don’t think so. I look at it as an educational research program for me and mom. It keeps us on our hooves and toes. But I guess I can admit there are times when maybe – and I stress that maybe – we are watching too much. You be the judge.
10 Signs You’re Watching the ID Channel Too Much
1. After watching the ID channel, you double check and then TRIPLE check to make sure all of your locks are set on every door and window in the house.
2. You find yourself screaming at the television, “Don’t do it!”; “Turn around!”; “Don’t open the closet door!”; “Don’t get in the car!”; or my favorite, “Are you crazy!?!” and mom’s favorite, “Has she seriously not called the cops yet?!”
3. You’ve thought about doing a background check on your significant other because you just never know who you’ve married.
4. When your spouse brings you a drink without asking, you automatically want to switch glasses with them just in case.
5. When going on vacation, the first thing you ask is, “Do you have the ID channel?” followed by “What about free WifI?”
6. When passing a hitch hiker, you just know in your mind’s eye that he has a hatchet or some sort of torture device in his back pack.
7. When at a restaurant and the table next to you asks to borrow your salt shaker, you give them EVERYTHING on your table because you know people have been killed for less.
8. When a friend asks you to ‘go for a ride’ and doesn’t tell you where ya’ll are going, you call everyone in front of him to let them know who you are with, start the recording device on your Smart phone and leave bread crumbs as a trail to find you…. just in case.
9. You’re friends give you a surprise birthday party and the first thing you do when the lights come on and everyone yells surprise is take cover behind the sofa in a fetal position.
10. Just the sound of any of the shows on the ID channel sends chills up and down your spine and you begin to wonder how the show is going to end this time.
Tell me my friends that I’m not the only one addicted to a channel that you just can’t get enough of…. please 🙂
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