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Pineapple and Daddy

10 Feb

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As some of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with my daddy.  I mean he loves me and I love him but it’s nothing like the love me and mom share.  Can you relate?  We tolerate – yeah that’s a good word – tolerate each other.  He takes care of me during the day and I like to think I take care of him during the day too.

Well, this weekend we were outside playing around.  I was down in the yard of the magical back yard and he was with me with mommy up on the deck.  Just for a moment, deviled ham came out in me.

  I tried to hide him back inside of me… you know sweet bacon.  But, it just wasn’t going to happen.  Sigh – deviled ham came out full force.  I looked at daddy and all I could see was a target.  I know I shouldn’t but it happened.  I stomped my hooves, ran around the magical back yard and at full force slammed into daddy who was kneeling over weeding.  For a big ex football player, he fell hard with a good thump.  Maybe that’s because he wasn’t expecting me… you think?  Then that old meanie deviled ham did something terrible.  He grabbed daddy’s pant legs and started pulling.  I thought for a minute deviled ham was going to pull off daddy’s pants in the backyard.

But then, daddy did the strangest thing.  He said really loud, “Safe word is pineapple – PINEAPPLE”.  He kept repeating pineapple.  Shakes piggy head.  Can you believe that?  Even when deviled ham is trying to play, daddy still thinks of food.  And mom says my mind is a one track way with food.  Snorts.

With daddy screaming pineapple and deviled ham snorting, this got mom’s attention on the deck.  Mom said those words that everyone hates to hear.  The full name – shivers.  She yelled out, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you get up here NOW”.  Oh snap.  That’s right – deviled ham snapped right out of my inner body and sweet bacon came out pronto.  I stopped, put my tail between my legs and slowly stomped up the board to the deck.  Man, I was in trouble.  The full name followed by NOW.

I got up on the deck and mom fussed at me.  I mean really fussed.  What was I thinking?  I can’t play rough like that, etc.  I tried to tell her it was deviled ham.  She didn’t have any of it.  She sent me to my bedroom… you know pay the time for the crime.  Shucks… it was all in good fun.

But, I went to my room.  I hope mommy fed daddy some pineapple.  He seemed like he really wanted some.  And don’t worry, dad wasn’t hurt.  He thought it was kind of fun too.  We made apologies later in the day and all is good now.

But you see, that deviled ham is evil.  Do you have a deviled ham?

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 02/10/2018 in Bacon

 

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19 responses to “Pineapple and Daddy

  1. franhunne4u

    02/10/2018 at 2:53 am

    I certainly had a little devil when I was a child …

     
    • Piglove

      02/10/2018 at 10:14 am

      They are everywhere!! Mom won’t admit it but she has one too. I just know it! XOXO – Bacon

       
  2. Kinley Westie

    02/10/2018 at 3:21 am

    All dis ham and pineapple talk – I are gettin hungry!

     
    • Piglove

      02/10/2018 at 10:14 am

      I know! Now I want pineapple. XOXO – Bacon

       
  3. Charles Huss

    02/10/2018 at 7:16 am

    Humans that have a Deviled Ham end up in prison. Just sayin’.

     
    • Piglove

      02/10/2018 at 10:14 am

      Gulps. Uh-oh Houston we may be in trouble. Snorts with piggy laughter. XOXO – Bacon

       
  4. Kate Crimmins

    02/10/2018 at 8:33 am

    Perhaps your safe word would be strawberry! I bet you’d do anything for one of those!

     
    • Piglove

      02/10/2018 at 10:15 am

      AMEN – Now you are thinking my friend!! XOXO – Bacon

       
  5. sheilaenglehart

    02/10/2018 at 8:40 am

    I had the deviled ham for a long time. Got me in too much trouble. I switched to being a turkey. It’s sillier.

     
    • Piglove

      02/10/2018 at 10:15 am

      oohhh squeals with piggy laughter!! XOXO – Bacon

       
  6. David

    02/10/2018 at 1:43 pm

    Yes, we have deviled ham … two cans in the pantry. Tastes very good mixed with mayo … spread on toast … with lettuce and tomato. It’s mmmm … 🙂

    It seems someone (cough, Bacon) is in need of an exorcism. Or, perhaps, someone (cough, Bacon) has been watching too many paranormal shows and should be asleep instead.

     
    • Piglove

      02/12/2018 at 8:57 am

      Snorts and oinks sweet friend! You may be right about that. I have been watching way too many shows – especially this weekend. We splurged on catching up on GA and DF. WOWZER! They’ve had some great new ones. Whatcha think? XOXO – Bacon

       
      • David

        02/12/2018 at 10:51 am

        On a couple of the newer GA episodes, Zak has had the look of a killer in his eyes whenever a spirit took over … not good. But, one time too many on the possession side, Zak may not come back. On the new DF, Saturday night, you had to feel for the poor woman and what she experienced. It was good she took all of Amy’s advice and is on the way back to recovery.

         
      • Piglove

        02/12/2018 at 12:56 pm

        YES! Zak is getting scary looking in some of the newer shows and I agree about the DF show. I’m so glad she is getting the help. We felt so sorry for her! XOXO – Bacon

         
  7. The Canadian Cats

    02/10/2018 at 6:03 pm

    Well, you know pineapple and ham go very well together. I like your dad’s idea of no violence and using a safe word instead so you don’t really hurt him. This you must learn though. Although HELP! is a good word too. I’m so sorry the devilled you slipped out.

    Shoks

     
    • Piglove

      02/12/2018 at 8:58 am

      Shakes piggy head. You just never know about my deviled ham ways. Never. XOXO – Bacon

       
  8. NylabluesMum

    02/11/2018 at 4:00 pm

    Mew mew mew Unccle Bacon did you REELLY knock yur Pappaw down an rush him??? Maybee you just wanted to help yur Pappaw ree-live his glory dayss as a Footballer, mew mew mew…..

    “PINEAPPLE!!!! Oh Pineapple!!!” Mew mew mew…..
    ***nose bumpsss*** neffkitty Siddhartha Henry xxxx

     
    • Piglove

      02/12/2018 at 9:01 am

      Snorts and oinks my sweet nefkitty. I couldn’t help it. He had a target on him and I just had to punch it. It was an honest mistake, really. Pineapple! XOXO – Bacon

       
      • NylabluesMum

        02/12/2018 at 6:33 pm

        Mew mew mew Unccle Bacon yur heelareeus!!!

         

This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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