Dear Bacon – This is called *the* look. You know the one that your parents do between themselves when they get all gooey eyed with each other. I wanted to send it to you so you can practice. Cause you know love day is coming and you need to market this look to get a date for Valentine’s. I know you have it in you. Who could ever resist that little pot belly of yours. Practice – practice and more practice my friend. You’re welcomed. Signed Stud
Dear Stud – OMP. Thanks my friend!! I am so going to start practicing this look and marketing it. I need all of the help I can get with the ladies. And thank you for calling my pot belly little. I appreciate that so very much buddy! I just knew that this pot belly would come in handy one day. Look at dad. He has one and he got lucky with mom! Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – I double pig bet you that you can’t do this. In fact, I just *know* you can’t. See sometimes I try to mess with my humans and stand on my back paws. Meows. It keeps them guessing what I will do next. I just want to see them doing this too. Signed Twinkle Toes
Dear Twinkle Toes – That is a given talent my sweet dear friend. There is no way this little piglet could do that for sure. Heck with this pot belly, I can barely see my back feet.
Dear Bacon – Wassup!?! Never fear if you see me hanging under your fence. Just wanted to see wassup and whatcha parents cooking on that grill. It smells good from here. Can I have a bite or dozen? Signed Voyeur
Dear Voyeur – Hilarious bro! I love the way you think of hanging out to see what’s going on in the hood. Pop over anytime…. or should I say pop under? Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. And hey, mom/dad were grilling hamburgers on the grill. If one falls, it’s free game to us anipals. Come on over. I’ll share.
Dear Bacon – Come on dude. Let’s “fly” some air outside and do some jumps. It’s a happening thing and you will love the air in your hair… or wings. I’ve heard some oinkers have wings. Call me and we will have a skate date. Signed Hawk Fly
Dear Hawk Fly – Dude, I think it would be fly to soar through the air weighless. I just don’t think (A) there’s a skateboard big enough for my pot belly and (B) my pot belly could ever take flight unless someone shoved me off of a cliff or the top of the house. On second thought, forget I said that. Dad might read it and get ideas. Have fun Hawk Fly!
Dear Bacon – The New York City subway is a strict bus service. Dogs can’t walk on buses. They have to be carried, in strollers, etc. My human created me a good one – a skateboard. Hey, I put on a hat and headset and nobody even knows I’m a pooch. Really! And hey, we are not breaking any rules whatsoever. So go us, right? Signed Disguised Celebrity
Dear Disguised Celebrity – My friend, do I have someone you need to get in touch with! See Hawk Fly above. Ya’ll could fly around the bus services like you wouldn’t believe together. Just think of the possibilities of fun! Just remember – safety first!