Southern Home Security System

Life can be hard – really hard.  With as much crime that is going around, I fear for mom/dad in their safety.  I’ve done a LOT of research on this and found the perfect southern home security system.  I saw an advertisement on the internet that was perfect.  And it has to work, right?  I mean everything on the internet is true – snorts.

So, friends fear no more.  This is the perfect plan that was posted.

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
2. Place said pair of work boots on your front porch along with a copy of the Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.  Don’t mess with the pit bulls.  They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all of the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.  Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Cooter