Merry Christmas

Last night, I made a deal with Hemi and Houdini.  We were going to hang out near the Mickey Mouse lamp pole all night in hopes of seeing the mysterious Santa Claus.  Mom/dad told us all that he wouldn’t come as long as our eyes were open.  So in preparation, we taped them open just in case Mr. Sandman came first.  We waited and waited to no avail.  Hemi and Houdini got frustrated and went to mom/dad’s room to sleep on the Select Comfort.  I myself was determined.  I mean hey, they don’t call me pig headed for nothing, right?  Snorts.

So I waited and waited – no snow – no reindeers – no fatman in red.  I was having a hard time trying to stay awake.  I jumped on the sofa and that was a big mistake.  Before I knew it, my eyes were droopy, my breathing had slowed and I had drifted off to peace on earth.

I’m not sure how much time had passed but something awakened me and it wasn’t my gas.  I kept one eye closed and barely opened the other.  To my surprise I saw a big fat guy all in red.  He was quietly putting pretty wrapped presents around the pole that he had first mistaken as a stripper pole – oh dear Lord.  But hold everything and wait a minute what is that caught my attention?  A woman was beside him wearing next to nothing.  No wonder for his confusion on the pole.  The next thing that happened scarred me for life when Santa grabbed said woman and gave her a kiss to last.  OMP (oh my pig).  What was that?  She turned and grinned and I saw it wasn’t a woman – it was my mom!  What will daddy think – what will daddy say.  I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.  THUD – piggy down.

I shut my eyes so very fast.  This is not something that a pig wants to last.  When I reopened my eyes much to my amazement, everyone was gone but the presents were still there – all decorated – all wrapped – tucked in neatly around the Mickey Mouse pole lamp.  But something caught my eye in the corner near one box.  It was green and waving, “Come take a look”.  I quietly exited off my sofa and softly hooved my way across the floor.  Oh dear Lord – it was a $20.00 bill – I guess Santa did get a dance from the lap pole after all.

I squealed and ran down to my room in a hurry and tucked myself in to my toddler bed.  When then what did I hear?  Soft taps on the roof, a jingle of bells and in a loud bellow I heard a man say, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”