International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

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Ahoy, mateys!  Today, September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!!  It’s a day for fun – you know a day to let our inner pirate come out just for fun.  Practice your pirate talk and talk like a pirate all day long to everyone.  See how much fun you can have telling people to ‘walk the plank’… chitter chatter – so funny!  Just remember, it’s not required that you dress like a pirate as long as you talk like a pirate.

For your convenience, I’m adding a few words that might come in handy this day.  Be sure to fit them into your conversations somewhere and see the reaction on people’s faces.

Ahoy! – “Hello!”

Avast! – “Whoa! Get a load of that!”

Aye! – “Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”

Aye aye! – “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”

Arrr! – “Yes,” “I agree”; “I’m happy”; “That was a clever remark you or I just made.” Note:  not to be confused with Arrgghh

Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in,“C’mere, me beauty.”.

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.

Bung hole – The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it?

Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water. Call your beer grog if you want.

Hornpipe – Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do. 

And of course, Bacon’s dad is bouncing right along with today.  He’s already confronted Bacon’s mom with a couple of what shall we say ‘off-colored’ pirate talk this morning.  Shakes my head.  He has persuaded me in a bucket of nuts to add a few of his oh so wonderful pick up lines.  (Yes, I can be bought and influenced and I know you are going to try a few of these so there.)

And, I’m taking bets how much Bacon’s mom can take before she makes him walk the plank!

Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

Come on up and see me urchins.

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Happy International Pirate Day me buckos!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Sometimes I smell things.  And then I see things.  No, i’m not a ghost.  You see it seems like the yard next to me has it going on with Stacy’s mom.  She’s always grilling and hanging out near the pool.  I just want to go over and play.  The other day, the laughter and the smells were so wonderful.  I stuck my head under the gate to see what was taking place.  I wasn’t really stuck but I acted like it to get everyone’s attention.  They came to the gate and invited me over.  What a party!  Signed Pup of the Party

Dear Pup of the Party – Hey dude, it sounds like you had the plan for the party.  You got an invite – I knew you would with that cute little grin.  Now go and play like a good fellow – tell Stacy’s mom I said hey.

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Dear Bacon – My master likes to play in the yard and work the ground for a garden.  Rolls my doggy eyes.  I’ll help to a certain point – especially when he is planting the watermelon.  Who doesn’t love watermelon, right?  This is me helping my master out by holding his tools.  And I always say safety first – wear a hat to keep the sun out of your face.  Signed Garden Patch

Dear Garden Patch – Hey my friend I like the way you think.  Maybe your master should give my mom some lessons on growing watermelons.  I love those big balls of wonder.  They are so tasty – I even like eating the rind.  Licks piggy lips.  Now look what you have done.  My miniature pot-belly is rumbling for the hungry of a watermelon.  Maybe its not too late in the stores for mom to pick me up one?  I love you being a helping paw.  I think the humans could use more of them.  Take care my friend – happy gardening.

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Dear Bacon – You *always* have that one sibling that can’t keep their tongue out of your ear.  Purrs in aggravation.  Dory has been ‘grooming’ my ear now for twenty minutes.  Can you please make her go away?  If I screech at her, she’ll run to mommy that I’m not playing nice.  Girls – eeww.  Signed Marlin

Dear Marlin – Girls.  That’s all you had to say my friend.  You can’t live with them and you definitely can’t live without them.  You have nerves of steel to let your sister Dory bother you for that long.  Hopefully, it will be over soon.  If not, perhaps you can stretch and tell her you need a bathroom break.  Just a thought!

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Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  Really, I’m not.  The human insisted that I needed a bath.  I could have done my own thank you very much.  But no – the human wanted to give me one.  Help me.  That’s all I gotta say and I’m thinking my look says it all.  Signed Cat in a Shower Cap

Dear Cat in a Shower Cap – Well, wait a minute I need to get a straight face for this, you look all nice and clean.  How ironical that your mom picked out a Tweety Bird towel for you.  It’s kind of fitting.  And that shower cap – OMP – perfect.  No sense in getting water in those cute little perky ears.  Go with it my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Some people use dowsing rods to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those.  Some people even use a sixth sense to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those either.  Heck, I don’t need to find anything paranormal.  I just need to find food.  And let me tell you, with these ears of mine I can find all of the food I want.  They lead me and I follow.  There’s much to appreciate in letting your ears lead you.  Signed Food on the Run

Dear Food on the Run – I say let it be my friend – let it be!  Lead on to the food and pig out!