Rolls Piggy Eyes

Oh my friends – who says that daddy is the only one at the Hotel Thompson who can tell a joke.  Because this morning I have a great one for you.  Really I do.  Something I heard and just simply can’t resist sharing.  I know it may be weak but after you read it you have to admit it is kind of funny.

❤

A frog goes into the bank and approaches the teller.  He can see from her name plate that her name is Patty Whack.  “Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.  The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.  The frog says, “Sure, I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.  She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who says his dad is Mick Jagger, who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000 AND he wants to use this as collateral.”  She then holds up the tiny pink elephant.  “I mean what the heck is this?”

The bank manager looks backs at her and says without missing a beat, “It’s a knickknack Patty Whack.  Give the frog a loan.  His old man’s a rolling stone.”

(I won’t tell anyone that you’re singing that last line – snorts and rolls with piggy laughter!)

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Summer really stinks.  It’s totally hot and uncomfortable.  All I can do is stand in front of the fan and let the breeze overtake me.  I just have to do something to cool me down.  Signed Flappy

Dear Flappy – Hey pal, whatever you need to do to keep you cool I say go for it!  Momma is a firm believer in her fan in this hot summer.  Can’t we just skip over that season?  I’m all for it.  Let’s start a petition.  What do you think?

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Dear Bacon – Hubba hubba little man.  I find you so fascinating.  I can’t believe a pig like you is still single.  What do you say we fix that problem?  Signed I Do

Dear I Do Don’t – Not that I’m totally not appreciative or anything but I’m just not ready to settle down like that.  You’re totally beautiful and I think you will find the perfect pig one day.  Don’t give up my friend.

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Dear Bacon – You talk about that Houdini at the Hotel Thompson a lot of different times.  I just want you to know that I think I’m more spoiled than he is.  My humans actually dress me up too.  It’s a pain in the rump area but hey it makes them laugh.  You ever think about dressing up?  Signed Prissy

Dear Prissy – First off – you look adorable in your little outfit.  Your face doesn’t *look* like you’re enjoying it but hey if the humans are happy, right?  Second off – Houdini is a fussy little character.  He is strictly a mommy’s boy and I just don’t see him letting me ‘dress’ him.  I on the other hand let mom dress me up from time to time.  Like you said, it makes the humans happy and smile.  That’s our jobs!

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Dear Bacon – Have you ever heard of the Red Hat Society?  I’m a member and they have monthly meetings.  I think you need to look it up in your area and do a posting on it.  I think it would be fascinating.  Signed  Fun Times

Dear Fun Times – I’ll do that!  I’ve heard mom talk about it with her friends.  There’s also purple hats, right?  🙂 See, I do pay attention even though sometimes mom doesn’t think so.  You wear that hat with pride and look forward to a posting in the future my friend.