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Dear Bacon

06 Jun

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Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.  But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183833.jpgDear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


 

20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.  Not the one to do that at all my friend.


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Dear Bacon – I double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.


 

20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.  None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!

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14 Comments

Posted by on June 6, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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14 responses to “Dear Bacon

  1. easyweimaraner

    June 6, 2017 at 2:04 am

    Oh I want such a fabulous people-spy-tool too … can you ask the watcher please where I can buy one? amazon?

     
    • Piglove

      June 6, 2017 at 12:34 pm

      Sure brother. But we have to remember. What can be seen can’t be unseen. Shivers. Some of the things are humans walk around in – or the lack of – that could be frightening for sure. XOXO – Bacon

       
  2. CarolMaeWY

    June 6, 2017 at 9:32 am

    What cuties you have this week. We have a safe pond if you want to swim Bacon. 😎

     
    • Piglove

      June 6, 2017 at 12:36 pm

      I might just do that my friend. I don’t think I’m going anywhere near this one at all! XOXO – Bacon

       
  3. Tails Around the Ranch

    June 6, 2017 at 9:58 am

    This week’s entries are completely pawsome! The watch-cat is clever times 2. 😍

     
  4. angelswhisper2011

    June 6, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    I think the watcher looks like a SuperCat with that…mask 😀 I like that pose, FFF, have to work on it *and hope to come out of it too* Pawkisses for a Happy Day 🙂 ❤

     
  5. evilsquirrel13

    June 6, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Tiny and Ody can trade food stories while they sit and look like beached whales. If I put Ody on a diet, he’d probably eat Biskit…

     
  6. Amy

    June 6, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Tiny looks like he has an extra set of paws holding his voluptuous belly. Unhappy is just too cute, wonder what he could have done, ha, ha. And smart piggy, not going into the water with the crafty (and hungry, I’m sure) alligator. Another good one, sweet Bacon.

     
    • Piglove

      June 7, 2017 at 9:43 am

      Thanks my sweet friend and definitely no swimming in those waters. Shivers – no way! XOXO – Bacon

       
  7. The Canadian Cats

    June 6, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    hahaha…MOL The kitty bent up like a pretzel is fascinating. How’d she do that? I wanna do that too.

    Shoko

     
    • Piglove

      June 7, 2017 at 9:46 am

      Snorts with piggy laughter. I couldn’t even if I tried. XOXO – Bacon

       
  8. Nylabluesmum

    June 7, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Mew mew mew oh Unccle Bacon mee an LadyMum are laffin an mee-yowin here! Mistur Furendlee sure iss heelareeus…like yur goin fall fur his trick!!!
    Thee Watcher sure iss creepy……*shuddursss*
    An poor Tiny Kat….hee iss just ‘bigboned’ rite?
    An poor Unhappy Pooch inn timeout….yur advice was purrfect!!
    Then there iss Tripull “EFF” Kat….even mee could not do that Yogie pawsition uncle!!!!! MEE-YOW!!!
    Furabuluss collum!!!
    ~~~head rubsss~~~ neffkitty Siddhartha Henry~~~

     
    • Piglove

      June 7, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      aaww piggy blushes. Thanks my sweet nefkitty. You are too kind to me! XOXO – Bacon

       
      • Nylabluesmum

        June 7, 2017 at 3:52 pm

        Mee just mee-yowss thee truth Unccle 🙂

         

This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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