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Daily Archives: April 25, 2017

Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – Who says that the natural order of things in nature have to be that we don’t get along?  My name is Gull and this is my close pal Gator.

We’re like two peas in a pod.  We often play in the water like this.  Gator protects me from other things in the water and we have fun.  Can you believe that it actually blows peoples minds when they see us like this?  Signed Born to be Different

Dear Born to be Different – Hey my friends.  I think that is absolutely wonderful to have that kind of friendship.

I’m sure the other animals in the water look at you like a two piece snack from KFC but as long Gator is there to protect you – awesomesauce!


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Dear Bacon – The humans.  They will pay for this get up.  I feel totally ridiculous.  The nerve to dress me up as some kind of twisted frog.  I think the look on my face tells you everything you need to know.  Do you have any ideas on how I can get the humans back?  Signed Feeling Froggy

Dear Feeling Froggy – WOW!  Now that is some sort of predicament my friend.  I feel you 100%.  Your humans really did have some nerve in dressing you like a Kermit want to be.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with you on that get up.  As far as pay back – evil piggy snorts.

The humans they do have to sleep at some point.  I’m sure you can think of so many different ways to bring down the wrath of Froggy upon them.  Just act innocent in whatever you decide.

P.S.  Can I borrow that outfit for Halloween?  Maybe I can snatch Miss Piggy with it.


Dear Bacon – 20131208-211436.jpgTalk about animal labor laws.  I often read about your life at the Hotel Thompson and how they make you ‘work for your food’ in a way.  Never complain again my friend.  My humans put me to work out in nature in concrete.  It’s a hard and tedious job… especially in this get up.  Help me please.  Signed Mason

Dear Mason – Oh snap.  Your humans weren’t playing any games were they my friend?  Bless your little heart.  Not only did they dress you but you have to wear those indestructible construction boots.  Shakes piggy head.  I’m so sorry pal.  I will *never* again complain about having to bring my dirty stuff to the laundry room.  Ever.

P.S.  Dad needs some help expanding the driveway.  When you get done with that project, can you help a human out?


Dear Bacon – 20131208-211508.jpgWhat?  Haven’t you ever seen a hamster with his lady working the pole?  Blondie is one of the best pole dancers out there.  I suggest this kind of get up for your bedroom pig.  You might get some girlfriends then.  HA!  Signed Boris

Dear Boris – OMP (oh my pig!)  My eyes!  What has been seen can not be unseen.  We really don’t need to see this my friend.  Although daddy was interested in that pole action, me and mom are not – snorts.  Ya’ll carry on in the privacy of your bedroom.  And don’t worry about me and girlfriends.  I have one 🙂

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Posted by on April 25, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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