Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Okay I admit it.  I’m in a predicament… some would say stuck between a limb and another limb.  I blame it on these pesky squirrels that seem to have taken over my yard.  I was chasing showing one how to get out and he jumped in the tree.  I followed.  I know you have Journalist Rocky the Squirrel that lives in your backyard.  Any suggestions on keeping the little rats squirrels out of my kingdom?  Signed  Hanging

Dear Hanging – Well you do look kind of uncomfortable there my friend.  The first thing is to get to know those squirrels.  I assure you they are not as pesky as you think.  Really – I assure you.  Make friends – you will be surprised what they will do for you think.  Journalist Rocky the Squirrel and his clan keep out the other unwanted dogs and purr things from my kingdom 🙂

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Dear Bacon – Honestly this is *not* what it looks like.  I wasn’t kicking anyone.  I wasn’t having a momentarily lapse of judgement.  I wasn’t going crazy.  You’re going to laugh when I tell you what I was doing.  Really – are you ready?  I was learning how to swing dance.  Yep, swing dance.  It works much better with a partner but I was practicing my moves.  What do you think about that little pig?  Signed Swinger

Dear Swinger – I am highly impressed my friend.  Really I am.  That is such a hard dance to learn and I’m impressed that you are doing it.  If my hips could move like that, I would so join up for lessons with you.

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Dear Bacon –  I’m sitting in a pan I am.  It’s the pan for the dog who is a hog (no offense).  He chases me and tries to sting me like a bee.  He no eat until he kisses my feet.  Signed Seuss Without a Rhyme

Dear Seuss Without a Rhyme – Snorts!  No offense taken.  I get it.  You and the dog are frenemies.  You keep your enemies close to you to know what they are up to – usually no good.  Instead of sitting in his bowl, perhaps hide that huge bowl.  No bowl to fill, no food to eat and you can act all innocent like you don’t know what they are talking about when they ask what happened to his bowl.  See where I’m going with this?  Cause you know after a while, it’s going to get boring sitting in an empty bowl.  Unless nature calls… then you have something to fill.

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Dear Bacon –  Oh dear mercy to the heavens.  Please help me.  My humans have went over the deep end.  Signed Fill in for Nicki Minaji

Dear Fill in for Nicki Minaji – Hubba – Hubba.  Look at you my sweet friend.  I think you got the looks and the skills to pull this off.  I wouldn’t be upset with your humans – I would tell them that if they are going to dress you up like Ms. Minaji, then they have to treat you like the star she is!