You know of all of the days in the entire year, you just have to be good on Christmas Eve. Tonight is the big night before the big man in the red suit comes. So there I was behaving this morning when mom told me that it was important to be well rested because tomorrow would be a long day with dinner and gift giving with family and friends. We all watched our favorite Christmas movie The Christmas Carol.
Afterwards, I snorted down the hall to my bedroom to take a nap – there’s no such thing as too much sleep, right?
So I’m laying in bed and something woke me. I finally opened my eyes and the house was dark and quiet. I couldn’t hear anything – not even Houdini which was weird. That’s when this ghost popped up from a corner. I admit that I was a little taken back and I might – and I stress might – have made a little water run down my leg. Thank goodness I was standing on my piggy pee pad. This ghost was like, “Dude, tonight you will be visited by ghosts.” I was like, “Get out of here – No really, get out of here!” This sounds so slightly familiar but I couldn’t put my hoof on it. Shortly after that, the ghost was gone – good riddance – and I thought the whole thing was a dream. It had to be because there ain’t no ghosts. So I went back to sleep.
I think I barely closed my eyes when I heard something in my room again. A slight rustling sound. I opened one eye and looked around. Dear piggy heavens… another ghostly intruder. This is going to be a busy night. I muttered, “Who are you?” to the bed sheet while softly praying that it was just a figment of my imagination. Of course it wasn’t. “Hello Bacon, I’m the Ghost of Piggy Past. I’ve come to show you what it would be like if your path had been different.” Apparently I’m not going to get any rest if I don’t take this trip so I said, “Okay.” That’s when things got weird. It was like a hurricane happened in my room and the next thing I knew I was floating in the living room with this Ghost of Piggy Past. He explained to me that we could see but not be heard… which was a good thing because I let a fart. What? You would too if you were this scared! No judging. So sitting on the couch was mom/dad, with no anipals. What? This can’t be right. I looked at the Ghost of Piggy Past and asked where all of the anipals were and why was mom/dad so sad? The Ghost of Piggy Past told me, “Well, you didn’t make it to adoption. Instead of adopting you and opening their home to lots of anipals, they decided to travel around the world. They aren’t sad. They are just tired from all of that jet lag. They been all over the world – having fun, eating, gambling – living the life. There was a huge lump in my throat. I couldn’t believe it – no way. Mom/dad wouldn’t do this. I had seen enough and I was ready for this to stop. I closed my eyes shut and the next thing I knew, I was back in my toddler bed. What a nightmare!
It seemed just like a few minutes passed when that ridiculous sheet rustling started again. I opened one eye and looked around. Then I saw it in the corner. Oh dear – shaking my head – this should be good. I muttered, “Who are you?” “Hello Bacon, I’m the Ghost of Piggy Future. I’m here to show you what your future will have.” What? Aren’t we forgetting a step here? Isn’t there suppose to be a ghost present? “Look dude, I’ve heard this story before. Are we skipping a step?” That’s when the piggy ghost snorted and said, “True dat. But life is short. I gotta keep the attention span of your peeps. Therefore, I’m here to show you your future.” Cool – I respect a ghost that wants to jump to the facts and get along with it. “Okay” I said, “What do you have? Where are we going?”
“Oh, we are not going anywhere. I’m here to tell you of your future. I see lots of laughing. I see lots of hysterical rolling all over the floor. Heck, I even see water coming down some peeps and anipals legs from laughing so hard.” Well this is cool. Nothing bad here. “What else do you see Piggy Future?”
“I see you waiting on your daddy hoof and foot, laughing at all of his jokes and bowing down to his feet when he walks by you. I see you never making fun of him again. I see you telling the world he is the best daddy evah.”
Um… wait a minute. Your’e not the Ghost of Piggy Future – you’re daddy! Daddy really? And with that all I heard was daddy laughing down the hall. Really dude? Why you gotta prank a pig like that?