Daily Archives: 12/20/2016
Oh NO – Elf Porn
Are you kidding me?! Don Juan is really starting up BAD this year. Mom heard noises last night around midnight. She pinpointed the sounds to the bathroom. The door was closed and she quietly opened it and caught Don Juan video taping some of mom’s collectible Barbies in a so called ‘hot sink’. Talk about mad! Are you kidding me Don Juan?! Making porn tapes is one thing. But taking mom’s collectible Barbies out of the packages – oh my piggy heavens. It’s a good thing you scurried off the sink and hid before she caught you. You are so on mom’s hit list now.
Dear Bacon
Dear Panchetta,
I am an artist! Do not think twice of me on my drinking. It inspires my inner soul. I would like to paint you – all of you since you are a plus size piggy. Would you pose for me? Signed Raphael Chickatello
Dear Raphael Chickatello,
WOW – I am honored… I think. I really don’t think that I am old enough to pose in any of your paintings. I think you should move on to maybe cows. That’s it – cows. I think cows should be your muse. They are so much more to work with than just me… a little pig. Carry on my friend and paint to your hearts content.
Dear Bacon,
Insert spy music. The humans think they are so smart in putting out these ‘traps’. They hurt! But never fear, this is how we really get the cheese without setting them off. Now you know our secrets! Signed Top Mouse
Dear Top Mouse,
I love that move! I wonder if there is enough wire to suspend me over something delicious. It looks like a hoot! You definitely have the moves my friend. Keep it up my secret friend!
Dear Bacon
,
I read about you watching television all of the time. I love to watch my shows too – especially the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They fascinate me for some reason. Do you like them? Signed Raffie
Dear Raffie,
I just can’t understand why you would like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. . I mean really, they’re turtles. It blows my mind to figure that one out. And yes, I do like to watch the show as well my friend.
Dear Bacon,
Just the facts little guy. Nothing but the facts. We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black. Don’t ask me which is which. We just like to dress like Kay and Jay. You know, just for fun and giggles. The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark. What do you think? Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys? Signed Kay/Jay
Dear Kay and Jay,
Oh dudes – I love the look! That is so neat. I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two. I think it’s the ties and sunglasses. I would love to roam around in my costume too. I secretly want to be a piggy super hero. I keep asking mom to make me a cape. I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly. Stay cool barky things!
❤ Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to email me your letters/pictures ❤
Piglove 