Dear Bacon – Julia Child – nope. Emeril – nope. Bobby Flay – nope. I’m the original Chef Wolf Dog Gang. Since graduating from the CICC (Culinary Institution of Canine Cooking), I can’t stay out of the kitchen. Not only can I bring home the bacon (sorry pal) but I can cook it up in the pan. Friends in the hood come from all over to taste some of my creations. You can often find me shopping in gardens around the house and coming up with such masterpieces as Hot Dog Casserole, Mutt Balls with Brown Rice, Doggy Lasagna and Chicken Backlash. They are all must haves and I hope to market them soon. When I get my cooking channel up, I would love for you to be my first guest. Signed Chef Wolf Dog Gang
Dear Chef Wolf Dog Gang – That is totally awesome that you picked up a hobby that is also a career. You know what they say about if you enjoy and love your job, you will never work a day in your life. Keep up the great work and hey can you send me some Mutt Balls with Brown Rice? That sounds fantastic! Oh and I would love to be your first guest as long as well you know… I’m a guest and not the guest of the meal if you know what I mean – snorts.
Dear Bacon – Really? You think you have strange humans that go out unattended and get in trouble? Mine don’t need to go out at all to get in trouble. I hope they do realize that this means war in making me look like an idiot. I think I will strategically place this beak somewhere on my master when he sleeps tonight… perhaps even pulling on the elastic for a certain gotcha is called for. What do you think? Signed Chick
Dear Chick – Oh My Piggy Heavens! Shakes oinker head. Yes my friend. I agree wholeheartedly that you do need some payback on this choice of ‘fun’ from your humans. What were they thinking? And yes, a pop of the elastic should go far. Maybe even follow that up with a little something-something in one of their shoes. I’m just sayin’. Stay safe my friend.
Dear Bacon – My humans are wickedly bad at this torture. They really are. There we were watching some superheros on our television. I was minding my own business and just enjoying the company on the couch. My dad said that all superheros need a mask. He was eating a sandwich so well you can see what he did. Why? That’s all I really need to say, right? Why? Signed Masked Bandit
Dear Masked Bandit – Oh my friend. You have to give your dad something on creativity. And you have to admit that it is pretty cute. No one would ever guess that’s you behind the bread. Nope not at all!
Dear Bacon – It’s not bad enough that I have to wear the cone of shame. Oh no. I should have known something was up when my human dad wanted to hold me for a second. I could feel him doing something to my cone of shame but didn’t know what. That is until I met up with the mirror and saw his creation. Really dad? Perhaps I should get you a cone of shame? Signed Bat Cat
Dear Bat Cat – I have to admit it my friend but that cone of shame is priceless. How many other purr things do you know that can say their cone of shame was made just for them. I say wear it with pride and hey give your human daddy some slack. His creativity could make you ‘the cat’ of the neighborhood. Give it a test and see what I mean. Others will be so jealous!
Due to Halloween, we are repeating some of our more hilarious letters. Hope you enjoy my sweet friends❤