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Daily Archives: 08/23/2016

Box of Boogers

What the cream cheese!?  Mom/dad went out … alone might I add.  When they came home, they were laughing about boogers.  Boogers my friends.  Shaking my piggy head.  Only my humans would find boogers hilarious.  Then dad was like you should have eaten one and tried it.  Now that got my attention.  My mom eating boogers – eyes up questioning dad’s sanity.  Then mom was like if you eat one I will.  WTP?  Mom hello – if dad jumped off a building would you?

So while they went into the kitchen giggling like school kids, I grabbed mom’s iPhone and ran to my bedroom to see if I could find out what was going on.  That’s when I found it.  Box of Boogers.  “Tangy gummy boogies that look and feel real”.  Really  – who cares?!

Do you want to try one?  Go ahead and admit it – you do don’t you?

 
33 Comments

Posted by on 08/23/2016 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – We are the Bark Crew.  We do spare jobs around the house and inside of the house.  We have extra paws so we are good at electrical and tile work.  You have work – we need the job.  So can you spread the word?  Signed Bark Crew

Dear Bark Crew – Now that’s what I’m talking about.  Anipals for anipals and getting the job done.  Can you give me a few references to also share?  I’m sure the dads around the houses will love someone else helping with their Honey Do lists for sure!


 Dear Bacon – The humans went out for their date night and this is my time for Netflix and Chill.  Yeah, I no humans do it a little different but what can I say.  I’m an anipal that has an incentive – booze, cheeze-its and dog movies.  Look at the woof on that pooch on screen!  That’s what I’m talking about.  SIgned Chilling

Dear Chilling – Hey dude – I like how you think. The next time your humans go out, give me a call and we will make a party of it.  I know of a few anipals we could invite.  While the humans are away – we can live it up with some Jamison!


Dear Bacon – We just want you to know the truth.  When the song Bad Boys comes on and asks what you going to do – think of us.  We are undercover canines for the police department.  Sorry we can’t show you our faces – we’re undercover dude.  But we are always working and on the job – heck we could be in your hood and you would never know.  If you did, we wouldn’t be doing our job, right?  So carry on little pig and don’t worry – we are here to protect you!  Signed Undercover

Dear Undercover – Squeals with piggy delight.  DUDES!  I so wanna go undercover too.  I just know I could be a undercover pig.  I mean who would expect a pig, right?  I know I have the skills – I just know it.  Do you think I could shadow ya’ll one day in a ride along?  Just let me know and I’ll be there.  Be safe out there on those mean streets!


Dear Bacon – Times are tough these days.  My humans are barely making it work so I told them I would help out and get a job to make some of that green stuff.  So I did what any good standing pooch would do.  Hello – I’m your Uber driver 🙂  They will hire anyone as long as you have a car and know the streets.  And what better anipal to fit that criteria but me.  So hit me up if you need a ride.  I keep water and dog biscuits in the back set for your pleasure.  Thanks bunches.  Signed Cliff

Dear Cliff – Yo dude you should be racking in the money with your set up.  You have wheels, you are dressed business like and yes I do believe you that you know the streets.  And every good Uber driver has perks in the back seats for their pick ups – yours are righteous!  I will pass the information along to my fellow anipals that if they have been out partying too much, to hit you up on Uber from the Smart phones.  You rock dude!

 

 


Dear Bacon – A dog’s job is never done in the house.  I slave all day to make sure everyone eats.  And you know what?  I have an important questions.  Why does everyone have to eat every day?  I’m always cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning.  It never stops.  Just today the little two legged terrors had the munchies and wanted cookies.  Sure, I’m going to do my part while the humans are out of the house.  It is my job to make sure those kids eat and stay out of trouble.  Always busy.  Signed Julia Kid

Dear Julia Kid – I so want to live in your house my friend.  I would love to be your sous chef in that kitchen and help you out… only for food – oinks and snorts.  You’re doing a wonderful job – keep cooking!

 


❤ Dear Friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing me your pictures and letters.  ❤

 

 
26 Comments

Posted by on 08/23/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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