Hey Oinker – I’m here to ask for your vote this year. I can make America great again… sure I can. More treats and more rights for us anipals. More playtime in safe streets. No loud noises on holidays. Kindness in forever homes for us all! That’s my platform. What do you think? Do you think I have a chance? Signed Rump for President
Dear Rump for President – I think you have as much luck as anyone else my friend. In fact, I think I would personally vote for you. Sure I would! You have a solid platform in my book! VOTE FOR RUMP!
Dear Bacon – There I was on a cool Saturday morning. The human was up and I jumped on her lap for a little TLC – just me and her. That’s some of the best times, isn’t it? Well, it was this day too… that is until I looked over at her cup. Really mom? This is how you treat me? All of these special cuddles. All of these purrs. All of these massages I give you. The serenading in the middle of the night. I bring you birds and small creatures for my thankfulness in having you in my life. And you pay me back with this cup. Shakes my head, jumps down with my tail high and walks away never looking back. Signed The Cat
Dear The Cat – I’m sorry pal. I know how it looks but maybe it’s not the humans fault. Maybe the dog put that cup on the counter. Actually, I’m thinking it sounds like something a dog would do to suck up to the humans. You see, dogs sometimes have to be told repeatedly how special they are. Unlike you cats. Cats know how special they are. They don’t need suck up cups or special shirts to say it. I say carry on as usual my friend. Let the dog think about why you are not upset. That would be better in this situation.
Dear Bacon – There we were in our backyard minding our own business. That’s when we heard the splashing in our neighbors yard. Well you know we had to take a peek to see what was going on. That’s when we saw it. The lady of our dreams in a hot bikini. Fifi the poodle next door. Oh my gawd! We are in love ❤ Signed Harley and Davidson
Dear Harley and Davidson – Dear heavens boys. You know it’s not good to ogle your potential girlfriend. That almost crosses the line at stalking. Look that word up and you might just see your pictures. If you are smitten, why don’t you do this the right way and meet her parents, get to know her, take her out for a date or a walk. But never, ever, look under the fence and spy on her. Shaking my piggy head. Even I know this.
Dear Bacon – I am not amused. I am certainly not! The humans were slackers and didn’t put my food in my bowl. I did what any other kitty would do. I went to go get it myself. Then my head got all wrapped up in this contraption. Damn me for not having fingers! The humans will pay for this. I mean it is literally their fault. If they had put me first (like they are suppose to do) and put food in my bowl, we wouldn’t be in this situation. The end. What do you think? Push a glass off the counter or hair ball in their shoe? Signed Cliffy
Dear Cliffy – You know I’ve seen that contraption before. Mom/dad used to put my food in that kind of container before they started buying it in bulk. (I finally have them trained). I’m thinking that a hair ball to start would be adequate payback for this rudeness in not fixing your food first. If they do it again, then yeah that favorite dog mug might need to take a walk off the counter. I’m just sayin’
Dear Bacon – Look I’ve seen things. Things I can’t unseen. Things that I can’t erase from my memory. And I’ve also heard things. Unbelievable things. So trust me, don’t give me that flack about smoking. Do you know how hard it is to live these days and not go crazy? Signed Dexter
Dear Dexter – Nods head. I understand. You’ve seen and heard things. Maybe that’s what happened. You know what they say about smoking stunting your growth. Just think of how big you could have been if you didn’t smoke. I just have to go there. That’s my box and I’m now getting off of it.
P.S. What have you seen and heard? Anything exciting you want to share?
Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without you. Please continue to email me your letters/pictures. ❤
