Pigomon NO!

So here I am this past weekend listening to the news on television about this Pokemon Go craze.  I’m just shaking my head about some of the stupid things that people are ending up doing just to catch a Pokemon.  I don’t get it.  I really don’t.  I overheard mom/dad talking about the craze and they were just shaking their heads too.

So knowing that mom/dad thought it was crazy, I acted like any other kid in America.  I had to try it myself – snorts.  So mom put me to bed last night.  While she and dad were getting ready for bed, I downloaded the Pokemon Go app to my iPad.  Now this is where I have my first issue with Pokemon.  Why don’t you have animal players?  Why do you have to have either boy or girl.  Shame on you.

I finally settled with a boy and of course named myself BaconPigLove.  What else would I name myself, right?  So then I listened at my door intently waiting for mom/dad to go to bed.  In the meantime, I looked around my room.  Nope – Pokemon Monster Free just like I like it.  I snorted – stupid game.

Then I heard mom/dad walk down the hall – awesome.  Now was the time for me to make my move.  I silently pushed open my bedroom door and went down the hall holding my iPad.  Now I was so intent on getting to the doggy door that I didn’t see the stupid monster before I got right on top of him.  This stupid Rattata appeared out of nowhere.  And trust me friends, it’s just like it sounds – a stupid rat of some sorts that’s been eating too many science projects left in the fridge for too long. I didn’t know whether to squeal or take a snort or what.  So I flung this ball at it and it said I captured it.  Thank goodness because that thing could have carried Houdini off.  And speaking of which, I was trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t wake him up so he would yip-yap and give me away.

I got to the doggy door and scooted through… okay okay – I wedged my pudgy piggy butt through the door.  And then there I was in my magical backyard.  Surely, nothing would be found in my magical backyard.  I started walking around holding my iPad up looking for these supposed monsters.  Then I saw this thing happened on my iPad like something was jumping in a bunch of leaves. It was weird so of course I carried on towards it.  Slowly I tiptoed on my hooves and then this stupid bird like thing jumped out at me.  I think it said it’s name was Pidgey.  Trust me.  That’s not what I called it.  I caught it with my ball and scored some points.

By this time, I was deep in the woods.  Did I mention all by myself?  Then I saw the leaves moving again on my iPad.  This time it was further back in the woods near the tree line.  So again I tiptoed down the woods silent like the hunter I am – quit laughing.  I turned the corner and jumped out to get what only God knows was next.  That’s when this kid yelled louder than I was squealing.  OMP!  I peed on myself right there in *my* backyard… in *MY* woods and this kid was back there hunter Pokemon too. He yelled pig and I yelled kid and we both took off running in opposite directions.  Trust me it was so much easier getting back into the house through the doggy door.

I’m never going Pokemon hunting again…ever.