My mom. She can be really sneaky when she wants to be. We all know that. But no one here was more surprised than daddy when she told him something that she wanted to do. Something that was new and adventurous. Between me and you, personally I was done with being adventurous since being at Summer Camp last week – snorts.
Well when sneaky mommy smartypants gets a bird up your hiney (what dad likes to call it), she doesn’t play. You know how much that woman loves Albert her Smart car. She would zip and zap all over town in it. The only down side to Albert was that he didn’t have much support in the suspension department. I know this first hoof. When mom would roll over the smallest bump, you would feel it. The small bump could be the size of a penny, you would know about it. And let’s not even talk about railroad tracks or bumps in the road. One time, I thought mom was going to literally fall into the hole – shivers – that was so scary!
And of course, the Smart car only held two humans and a pig… maybe a dog too at times. That’s why we also had Tank the Equinox. Mom used Tank when we had family outings with Nana or vacation. But being that mom was the only that drives here, the economical sense of having and maintaining two cars just didn’t make sense… so she told me when she picked me up from camp.
So this is where she got the bird up her hiney. She wanted to trade both cars into the dealership and get an awesome car that she (1) she always wanted; (2) would hold all of us anipals and Nana and (3) would financial be more beneficial to the family. So what does she do? She buys a new car.
She went to the dealership, told them what she wanted and after much paperwork and running around for titles and standing her own for what she wanted, she got what she wanted. Now do you know where I get my pig-headiness from – snorts? And of course, mom gets things while still smiling like the Southern gal she is. She was able to cash in 7 years of extended warranty that she didn’t use on Albert. She also stood firm for what she wanted for Albert. AND she was able to stand firm on what she wanted for Tank. And of course cutting back to only one car in the family, she was able to cut her insurance in half. AND, she was able to pocket some money for the offer on the vehicles. That’s the best part cause she can buy me some more Animal Crackers that Scout ate at Summer Camp 🙂
So let me introduce you to our new ride – a Jeep Patriot Latitude. Mom has named him Casper.
I know – I know Casper is white. But she says that the blue in the car reminds her of Casper’s beautiful blue eyes. Shakes piggy head. My mom is so crazy!
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I have to give a shout out to my little brother Houdini for helping out last week in my Dear Bacon issue. Who knew that the pooch had it in him to give such great advice? Awesome job little guy – thanks so much!!
Dear Bacon – Sometimes drastic times call for drastic measures. I’m just saying. There we were at the kennel – just the two of us because our parents decided to go on a trip without us. How could they? Neither one of us could believe that they put us up in a kennel while they had a great time in the sun. What’s worse? They forgot my teddy bear. So I did what I had to do. I used the dog as my teddy bear. Have you ever been in this kind of situation? Signed Lost in Vacation
Dear Lost in Vacation – Have I ever my friend? Like you said, sometimes you have to do what you have to do to make it work. There was no problem in using your brother as your teddy bear. Doesn’t look like he cared the least. In fact, it probably made him feel better knowing that you were there with him while your parents were having fun. I say you made the best out of the situation friend. And I know how you feel. Last week at camp, mom forgot my king size Egyptian cotton sheet. It was horrid not having my blankie with me all week. It was the first thing I went to when I came home Saturday night. I know exactly how you feel!
Dear Bacon – Sometimes you have just had that kind of day. You know the one. The one where you can’t catch the squirrel.. or the mailman.. or that loud car that vrooms-vrooms up/down the street all day taunting you..or that pesky purr thing. Shakes head. Today was that day. The cat ate all of my food. Mom forgot to give me water before her and dad left for work. I was thirsty. I couldn’t even get to the toilet in the bathroom because the purr thing shut the door. That purr thing really has it out for me. So, when dad finally got home. I had to have a cold one. It was screaming my name. Have you ever felt this way? Signed Cold Brewsky
Dear Cold Brewsky – In a word, YES. I have felt that way at times. You should try living here at the Hotel Thompson with a pooch and two purr things. The pooch I can handle most of the time. It’s those two pesky purr things. They are conniving. And yours shut the bathroom door on purpose and drunk all your water. WOW! I think that calls for a major payback. Nods head and looks innocent – not that I sponsor that kind of thing in this world where we all need to get along. I’m just sayin’ though when the purr thing isn’t looking maybe you should turn their drinking water yellow if you know what I mean. Let them know what it’s like not to have fresh water all day. Take care of yourself little guy!
Dear Bacon – That damn dog. Yep I said it. I know you don’t like to hear things like that but look what that stupid Brewsky did to me! He dared me to go out on this stupid flimsy looking float. Okay maybe with that dare was a piece of cat treat that he strategically placed on the floaty thing. What can I say – my stomach rules me. I got on this piece of floating crap and he pushed it out into the water. I’m stuck! Call PETA. Call Animal Control. Call someone. I’m stuck on an island of hate. You just wait until I get that creepy little dog! Signed Island of Claws and Hisses
Dear Island of Claws and Hisses – Give me a second to pick myself off of the floor from laughing. Why don’t you give Brewsky a break. If I read his letter correctly above, did you not drink all of HIS water and shut the bathroom door so he went without water all day? At least he gave YOU water. I’m just sayin’. Can I get you anything? A pillow, some tea or a biscuit? Snorts with piggy laughter. Don’t worry, I’ll call your parents…. in a couple of hours. Give the dog a bone and put those claws in… you wouldn’t want to get a hole in your floaty thing.
Dear Bacon – Oh have mercy to the doggy heaven. What has been seen can not be unseen. Shakes head. I do believe that my eyes are stuck this way. The humans they scare me. If you ever hear your humans say something about going skinny dipping – don’t walk – RUN! There we were last night outside near the pool. The only light we had was from the blue moon. The humans were laughing like they do sometimes and talking about skinny dipping. Let me just tell you that there is no skinny or dipping involved. They took off their clothes and jumped in the pool. That’s right – without anything on. Oh.my.eyes! Signed Shocked for Life
Dear Shocked for Life – Oh my piggy heavens! That look – I was so hoping that you just had a Botox injection and not was scarred for life. I so hope my humans don’t dare this. First off because my piggy pool wouldn’t hold my dad’s foot let alone the both of their bodies. And running naked in my backyard under the moon with just the two of them, I think the earth would just suck me up right there and then. I hope your look goes away soon my friend.
Dear Bacon – What? I’m sure you have heard of the saying piggy back ride. That’s what we were doing here. The humans had went to work. We drew straws and I got to go first. What? Don’t all dogs do this? It’s kind of fun. Why should you piggies have all of the fun with this neat ride? Signed Harley and Davidson
Dear Harley and Davidson – Well guys I gotta say it is fun. Sometimes the little guy here, Houdini, gets on my back for a piggy back ride. And hey let me tell you something. Piggy back is not just for anipals. I saw daddy giving mommy a piggy back ride the other day. It’s a fun game – what can I say? Carry on and don’t worry my friends. I’m not hating!
Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU! Please keep sending your pictures and questions to my email.
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