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Dear Bacon

21 Jul

Dear Bacon – 20131208-210953.jpgLife is so not fair dude.  Life has become so politically correct lately that no wants to do the things they were doing before because they feel they don’t have to.  Do you know what I mean?  This is me.  I told my human I needed to go for a walk.  What do they do?  They give me the pan and sweeper, told me to walk myself and to clean up after myself.  What?  Isn’t that what the humans are suppose to do?  Not anymore they said.  They said that it wasn’t their poop and I needed to clean it myself.  Enough with this politically correct stuff already.  What do you say?  Signed Swifter

Dear Swifter – Oh pal, I so get you.  People are taking life way too serious and need to lighten up a bit.  Life is too short to be in a constant battle of being politically correct.  I say give back that pan and sweeper to the humans.  You are not playing that game.  If they don’t agree, I think a few strategic poop bombs will work – snorts.  Let me know how it works out for you okay.


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Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  Everyday at the zoo, I come out to greet the humans.  They all make Batman jokes.  I just don’t get and understand it.  My name is Ben not Batman.  Do you get it and if you do can you please explain this to me.  Shakes bear head.  Signed Ben

Dear Ben – Smiles and oinks.  You see my friend there is the superhero called Batman.  Batman’s symbol is like the one here to the right.  I wanted to show you this picture because I need you to see what it looks like.  Now, I need you to go look in the mirror at your handsome chest.  Do you see the resemblance?  That’s right – nods head.  You are Batbear!  Snorts with piggy laughter.

I think personally that is a HUGE compliment.  You have the same markings as a superhero.  That makes *you* a superhero my friend.  Think about that.  You have talent.  I say work it up for all it’s worth and have fun with your markings.

.


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Dear Bacon – squeaks!  For my birthday, all I asked for was one little thing. I wanted a Radio Flyer.  The small human here has one and they play with theirs all of the time.  It looks like so much fun.  I wanted one too.  That way the little human could pull me around the house and have fun.  The day of my birthday, I woke up and guess what?!  I had my Radio Flyer!  Have you ever been in one?  I feel like I can fly!  What do you think?  Do I make this Radio Flyer?  Signed Pig on Wheels

Dear Pig on Wheels – Awesome my friend.  You totally rock that look and look like you are having the time of your life.  I’ve never been in a Radio Flyer.  I think I may need to add one to my Christmas list this year.  I think  could get use to sitting in it and having people pull me all around.  Squeals with delight – carry on and have fun!

.


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Dear Bacon – Is it working?  I saw the hunk of my dreams walk by.  I’ve heard on television that one way the humans attract their mates is to flip their hair.  I thought I would give it try.  What do you think? Yes or no?  Signed Fluffy

Dear Fluffy – hubba hubba my sweet.  I think it is so working.  You flipped that hair so seductively.  If you flipped it my way, I would be so taken with your beauty and wonder.  If your friend doesn’t catch on, let me know.  Call me okay.

.


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Dear Bacon – That stinking purr thing has ticked me off for the last time.  Every time I turn around, Mr. Giggles does something to *me* and then blames me for anything and everything when the humans are looking.  Mr. Giggles steals my puppy food, drinks my water and sleeps in my masters bed near his head.  Enough of this.  I’m a dog in charge.  Mr. Giggles is going to get it in three, two, one – BOOM.  Signed Mr. Pooky

Dear Pooky – Shakes piggy head.  First off my friend, I thought your humans were a little eccentric naming the kitty Mr. Giggles.  Then I saw your name, Mr. Pooky.  Not like there is anything wrong with that, it’s just unique.  Have you thought this through all of the way?  If you scare the giggles out of Mr. Giggles, rolls eyes, can you imagine what he is going to do to you for payback?  Cause you know it’s going to happen my friend.  I’d say rethink the situation and see possibly how you can set him up like he does to you.  Maybe take one of Mr. Giggles furballs and strategically place it on your master’s pillow.  That might be a better route.  Not that I would know anything like that or not.  Looks innocent and whistles.


Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep sending me your letters and pictures to my email address.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 07/21/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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14 responses to “Dear Bacon

  1. sunsetdragon

    07/21/2015 at 2:02 am

    Love the guinea piggy in the little red wagon.

     
    • PigLove

      07/21/2015 at 9:36 am

      Doesn’t he look cool. I think I want a Radio Flyer for Christmas now. That way maybe I can train Houdini to pull me around the Hotel Thompson – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
  2. franhunne4u

    07/21/2015 at 2:43 am

    Dear Fluffy,
    Bow,chicka, bow wow …

     
    • PigLove

      07/21/2015 at 9:37 am

      Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. XOXO – Bacon

       
  3. easyweimaraner

    07/21/2015 at 4:40 am

    I love the pig on whells… thatg’s a funny kinf of pig n’ roll :o) and I understand Swifter… my mom felt the same during the 40 hours of community service she had to perform once… she egg-sactly had the same job like Swifter (the judge was probably bribed by the opposing party)

     
    • PigLove

      07/21/2015 at 9:38 am

      Snorts with piggy laughter brother. My mom says she plays swifter every night in mine and Houdini’s bedroom. What? Isn’t she the innkeeper? Snorts! XOXO – Bacon

       
  4. evilsquirrel13

    07/21/2015 at 12:22 pm

    Humans would never clean up their own poop, of course. They should just be happy for the free fertilizer!

     
    • PigLove

      07/21/2015 at 1:08 pm

      Snorts with piggy laughter. Well, that is what mom uses mine for in the backyard. XOXO – Bacon

       
  5. Lassie and Benji

    07/21/2015 at 1:04 pm

    Batbear! Pawsome!

     
  6. bellfurzoo

    07/21/2015 at 3:57 pm

    OMD that bear is soo stinkin’ cute!! Great advice Bacon 🙂

     
    • PigLove

      07/21/2015 at 5:00 pm

      aaww thanks my dear friend. I appreciate that! And that bear is awesome. I would love to meet him in person XOXO – Bacon

       
  7. The Canadian Cats

    07/23/2015 at 8:07 pm

    hehehe…I like Mr Giggles…he looks like my kind of guy that has lotsa fun.

    (((Shoko)))

     
    • PigLove

      07/24/2015 at 9:54 am

      Snorts! He really does. XOXO – Bacon

       
  8. gentlestitches

    07/24/2015 at 1:50 am

    LOL! 😀

     

This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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