Daily Archives: 06/30/2015
Dinner Approved by Satan?
Can you say that my mom and dad have been at it again? Snorts – of course they have. They went out to dinner over the weekend. All was going well and they were even behaving – which in itself is something unbelievable.
Then, they get the check. Mom starts laughing hysterically. Dad was like, “Tell me. I want in on the joke.” So mom says, “Dinner was approved by Satan himself.” Dad was like why is that?
Then mom told him. The total on the ticket was 1666. Dad was like, “I gotta order something else. No way!” Too funny. It’s a good thing that meal was tasty. Who knew eating could be so sinful – snorts with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – Hey dude! With all of the soccer craze going on right now, I thought I would hop along and be a professional athlete as well. I love soccer. There is nothing more relaxing than kicking the ball around. I think I’m just as good as David Beckham or Pelé or even Cristiano Ronaldo. What do you think? Do you think they would count my front feet as hands? Do you ever play ball? Signed A Beautiful Mind
Dear A Beautiful Mind – Awesome. That’s what I say. I think it’s awesome that you love to play soccer as much as you do. I can see you in the Olympics and at the big game. And yes I can see you next to the greats that you mentioned. I myself have snouted a ball around the backyard here from time to time. I think it’s a great way to relief some stress. I don’t care what any other peep thinks, you do what you love my friend. Go score BIG TIME!
Dear Bacon – Can you guess who my hero is? Go ahead guess. I bet you can’t figure it out? I know you can’t! I’ve gotta go now and find my brother Luigi and that gorgeous Princess Peach. Signed Mario
Dear Mario – Snorts! Good one my friend. You are awesome. You look just like that guy. No doubts in my book at all. And yes we guessed right off who you were. You see my mom loves Mario and Luigi and all your friends. She says she grew up with them and gave them a run for their money playing arcades.
I think you need to work your look for as long as you can and make it work for you. Perhaps you can go on a nationwide tour and promote Mario and Friends. Wouldn’t that be fun? If you come to my neck of the woods, I would love to see you in person. Take care and safe travels!
Dear Bacon – I told everyone I would be back and here I am. I’m back and ready to take over the world. This time I’m coming back as a pooch that is deadly… that has secret weapons of destruction. Don’t get in my way. Signed Poochnator
Dear Poochnator – WOW! Does your humans know about this? And I have to ask. Do you know my friend Easy? Are you secretly Easy in disguise? A pig has to know these answers my friend. And hey, does your mother know about your late curfew while you are out saving the world? And my mom says to tell you to remember to wear clean underwear… you know just in case something happens.
Dear Bacon – I’ll do anything for a carrot. I’ve heard you are the same. What would you do for a carrot? Signed Tony “The Pig” Hawk
Dear Tony “The Pig” Hawk – You go my friend. You ride like there is no tomorrow. Hit those decks, do those tails, ride those carves and hit some air. I can see you doing all of these tricks and getting all of the carrots you could wish for. And have I done anything for a carrot? You betcha. I’ve given Mouse Girl here back scratches and washed Hemi’s feet.What? That’s as adventurous as this pig gets!
Dear Bacon – Oh my pussy cats. There I was in the house walking around like I normally do. I went into the bathroom and there was a beautiful bubble bath in the tub. I looked around and no one was there. So I decided to take a little dip thinking that humans left it for me, right? I’m laying back enjoying the suds and then have mercy – the human master walked in naked. What has now been seen can not be unseen. I’ll even be honest with you. I’m not sure which one of us screamed the loudest. Signed Rub-a-Tub-Puss-in-a-Tub
Dear Rub-a-Tub-Puss-in-a-Tub – WOW! Now first up. That is a lovely ‘scared’ picture of you in the suds. It does look like you were enjoying yourself. Second up, I gotta ask. Did you give up your luxurious bubble bath and give it to the human or did you share? Snorts – I know I wouldn’t have gotten out!