Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon, Just sitting here minding my own business enjoying a cool one after a long day of chasing the mailman and purr things from my kingdom of a yard.  Then the human comes home and has to snap this picture.  What?  Haven’t you ever seen a pooch relax before?  Signed Coors Doggy

Dear Coors Doggy,  I don’t get it either my friend.  Just a pooch, dressed up drinking a beer.  What could your human be thinking with taking a picture?  Doesn’t he do the same thing?  In fact when he does, why don’t you take *his* picture and let him see what it feels like to be disturbed from your happy place..

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 Dear Bacon,  The humans don’t believe me Bacon.  There I was in the kitchen with this rotisserie chicken in the package.  Dog’s honor, the chicken exploded out of the package.  Yeah, that’s it.  It exploded out of the package and ran away.  Why do the humans think we did this?  Signed Two Innocents Until Proven Guilty

 Dear Two Innocents Until Proven Guilty,  WOW!  I think you need to call your local police department on this one…. maybe Ripley’s Believe it or Not.  I can see the headlines now – “Rotisserie Chicken Jumps out of Packaging and Flees”.  Uh-oh.  Wait a minute.  You better rethink that.  What if that gets out that you two strong, husky protect dogs let an innocent little chicken flee from the safety confines of your home.  This won’t end well.  Perhaps you better come up with a better story.  How good was that chicken?

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Dear Bacon, Ssshhsss – I’m trying to blendsss in here in the hood.  I don’t thinksss anyone seessss me yet.  I just hope the neighborsss don’t try to hand up any signsss here.  I could be busted if they do.  Signed Hide and Seeksss Champ

Dear Hide and Seeksss Champ,  Gulps.  I may never look at a phone poll the same way ever again my friend.  You blend so well.  Your colors – wow!  I’m amazed at your climbing skills of going up and not falling off.

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Dear Bacon,  One word buddy – OUCH!  Snoopy made this look so easy.  Trust me my friend.  It is not.  I may never be able to bark like a big dog ever again.  Do not try this at home.  Signed Help Me

Dear Help Me, WOW!  Watch out Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme.  I think you have some skills there my friend.  Probably more now that you’ll never be able to reproduce again – snorts.

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Dear Bacon,   First we put flour on the board and then crack some eggs.  What?  You don’t do the cooking at the Hotel Thompson?  Oh buddy – you so have to learn in case the humans go on vacation again.  These days, I take care of myself.  When the humans leave, I hit the fridge and freezer for some culinary delights.  If you want to learn to cook, I’m your dog!  Signed Chef Poo Chie Lagasse

Dear Chef Poo Chie Lagasse, Sign me up for some lessons my friend.  I think all anipals should learn how to cook.  I’m good… as long as there is no pork on the menu 🙂

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REMEMBER friends Dear Bacon can’t happen without your letters and pictures.  Please continue to send them to me for our Dear Bacon issues.  Snorts and thanks!