So You’ve Got What!?

What the cream cheese?!   I’m serious.  My mom and dad do not find trouble.  Trouble finds them.  I’m serious.  You don’t believe me?  Okay.  Let me show you.

This is exhibit A.  This is a real book in the book store written by Ira Alterman. You see it was all innocent.  Mom and dad went to a vintage book store to find us anipals some new reading material for our bedtime stories.  That is when dad found this book.  Mom and dad had a fit and laughed like little kids.  I mean I don’t know what the big deal is really.  We do have a fat pussy here at the Hotel Thompson and her name is Mouse Girl.  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.

And no they didn’t buy the book.  Can you believe it was $100.00?!  Mom said they could keep the fat pussy.  Snorts!

What at is the craziest book title you have ever seen?

 

Are You A Member?

Mommy said the strangest thing to me last night.  Mommy said that I was a member of the clean plate club. I wasn’t sure what she meant until daddy explained it me mumbling something about eating him out of house and home.  Rolls piggy eyes – he so exaggerates.

But of course I am a member of the Clean Plate Club.  I mean really, I’m a pig.  I ain’t leaving nothing behind food wise.  Sometimes when I eat my apples in the front room one will roll up underneath the couch or fireplace ledge.  Heck, you should see me going after.  There should be no food left behind in my trough – I mean plate.

Momma even calls me her little hoover.  I go around the floor sniffing out any scrap of a crumb.  Dad says I’m better than vacuuming. If it’s out there – it’s in my tummy!

Are you a member of this elite Clean Plate Club?