Daddy is Cheating on Mommy

I KNOW!

I was so shocked myself.  I couldn’t believe it and I heard it my friends.  Mommy was at the worky place and I was in my bedroom taking a nap.  That’s when it happened.  I heard a girls voice.  I was like, “That’s not mommy”.  I put my head to my bedroom door and listened.  What the cream cheese?  Daddy was in the front room talking to a girl!

Of course I eavesdropped.  I think mom would understand in this situation.  I mean this is concerning family and family is first… right?

I heard daddy ask, “Siri, who’s your daddy?”  That’s the hoochies name – Siri?  What kind of name is that?  But get this my friends.  This Siri chick responded, “You are.”  WTP (what the pig)!?  This trumpet called Siri is flirting with my dad?  Is she crazy?  That’s my daddy!  She can’t be doing this.

And then I heard daddy ask, “Siri, why did the chicken cross the road?”  I tell you my daddy is strange.  Why would he be asking this cornflake this question?  But again get this – this Siri chick replied, “I do not know the motivations of chickens.”  What a smarty!

Then daddy said, “Siri, you’re the best.”  Piggy down – THUD.  What has daddy done?  And Siri said, “Thank you.  So are you.”  NNNOO!!!  This has got to stop.  Who is this scarlet?

I heard laughing from daddy.  And then daddy said, “Siri, tell me a joke.”  Siri said, “The past, the future and the present walked into a bar.  It was a tense situation.”  Daddy rolled with laughter.  I don’t get it.

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I had to put my hooves down and take my daddy back before mommy found out about this situation.  I squealed like I’ve never squealed before – at the top of my lungs and scratching my bedroom door.  That got dad’s attention.  He came running to my bedroom and opened my door.  I ran out of that room like it was on fire straight into the front room to find said hooch.  Nothing.  No one.  Nada.  Where did she go?  I heard her.  I know she was there.  I checked everywhere.  And still nothing.

What’s a pig to do now?

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NOTE:  This post is all in fun.  Siri is actually put out by Apple products.  Siri is the personal assistant that you can talk to on products such as the i-Pad or i-Phone.  You can place phone calls, make appointments, and ask general questions to just about anything.