Pet Talk Translated – The Human Version

12 Jan

I’m sure you humans have always wondered what we are saying when we talk.  Well my friends – I’m here to help you out with this.  You are so very welcome!  We always walk around meowing, barking or oinking and humans just look at us and think, “I wonder what they are saying?”  We anipals understand each other – we speak the international language of anipals.  We even understand what YOU are saying.  But, there is a language barrier with YOU understanding us.  No need to send me $19.95 for a translation book (unless of course you want to – snorts).  We anipals of the Hotel Thompson have come together to help you out.

This will be in two parts.  This morning’s issue will be what the humans say.  This afternoon’s issue will be the translation of what we anipals say.  Both will be the same conversation that takes place.  I hope you enjoy it and learn something about us anipals.  So here we go – HUMAN TRANSLATION FROM MOM.

“Stretch – Who needs an alarm clock with these sweet little babies here at the Hotel Thompson?  Pig squeals are routine here at 6:30AM sharp.  I stretch from my cocoon of comfort in my soft bed.  The squeals continue and get louder.  Someone wants their breakfast.  If I don’t jump up and get to him soon, he will wake up the other kids.

I stumble out of bed and always seem to stub my toe on the foot of the bed.  I say it every morning but once I again I mutter, “I need to fix that” while shaking my head.  I really thought I had fixed that already.  I guess not.  I open up Bacon’s bedroom door and we wobble to the kitchen together turning lights on in each room on the way.  Me muttering how early it is and him muttering what he want’s for breakfast.  I flip on the kitchen lights, hit the coffee pot to on and look intently at my baby.  “What do you want to eat”? is a regular question but it’s a weekday and mommy has to work.  So Bacon gets his usual of piggy chow and Cheerios.  What?  Gotta be heart smart even for the oinker. 🙂  

I feed Bacon, give him fresh water and try my best mentally to make the coffee percolate faster.  In the meantime, I give Bacon fresh water.  After he’s finished eating and I’m working on my first cup of liquid awakening, he comes over and nudges my legs for some loving.  We then go sit on the couch in the living room and watch some of the morning news together.  Such a wonderful way to start the day – watching television together not the pig squeals of “Get up now and feed me before I perish” wake up call.   We have a few moments before the next wake up call starts with the, “Bark, bark, bark” of little puppy chatter and I enjoy it immensely.

I see the clock is pushing 7:15am so I persuade Bacon back to his room for a early morning nap before the next cutie wants his breakfast.  Just as I shut Bacon’s bedroom door, I hear the barking of puppy power Houdini.  I go back to our bedroom and get him for his routine.  Yes.  He is puppy all the way in the morning.  He zips and runs and barks and is totally active in the morning.  OMG – he tires me out just watching him.  I need to go back to bed or another cup of coffee.  We go to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast of champions – puppy food and a little treat of wet food.  He snarfs it down and wants to play.  Really, at 7:15AM I’m playing fetch and tickles with a puppy.  Where did I go right?  🙂  We play while watching television.  Okay let me change that.  We play while listening to the news on television – LOL.  Finally, he’s had enough and wants to take a nap.  YAY.  I put him back in bed and then get ready for work.

Never fear though.  The cats are the last for breakfast.  One does not ‘wake them’ for their breakfast.  They come to you and usually it’s right before I’m leaving for work and especially when I’m running late.  Go figure huh?  They follow me around meowing demanding their food and treats.  After they are fed and have eaten, I turn around to love on them.  What in the world?  I think deep down they are secret agents.  They are gone from the kitchen already without a sound made.  Where in the world?  I look around the kitchen, the front room, the bedrooms – nothing.  I go into my bedroom and what do you know?  There they are all cuddled back up in bed – on my side deep in my warm cocoon that I had to leave. Shakes head.  It never fails.

I say, “Have a great day” to all as I leave the house.  Someone needs to work to keep them in their kibbles.”


Posted by on 01/12/2015 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl, Houdini


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27 responses to “Pet Talk Translated – The Human Version

  1. fozziemum

    01/12/2015 at 1:08 am

    You have a great routine..mine is like feeding tie at the zoo…I get barked at to wake up..i get barked at for breakfast while the girls circle my wagons for brekkie at the same time..who has what who can’t have what arghhhh I never gently wake…yes you see they have never ever ever been fed….lucky to get half a cup of coffee in me …yes my name is Fozziemum and I don’t work quick enough for my furries bwahahahahaa 🙂 xx loves Fozziemum xxx

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 6:29 am

      Snorts. Its always a brand new day when it comes to wake up time. Just wait until you read our interpretation my friend. XOXO – Bacon

      • fozziemum

        01/12/2015 at 6:31 am

        Bwahahhaahaah I can hardly wait….;) loves Fozziemum xx

  2. onespoiledcat

    01/12/2015 at 7:10 am

    Ahhhhh……the joys of being a Mom…….even though I don’t have a whole house full of critters, Sam definitely has his morning routine and I’d better remember my place in it…..or else….HAHAHA

    Hugs, Pam

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 8:35 am

      Snorts. Mom is good with us. Thankfully she doesn’t mind. But this afternoons interpretation from us should be interesting and enlightening. XOXO – Bacon

  3. Reilly & Denny

    01/12/2015 at 7:36 am

    a Mom’s work is never done 🙂

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 8:35 am

      Nope. But ya’ll make it look so easy! XOXO – Bacon

  4. easyweimaraner

    01/12/2015 at 8:21 am

    and all that happens before you start your work… it’s a job before the job :o) You should get a giant surprise next mothers day that’s for sure :o)

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 8:36 am

      Perhaps mom would love it if we let her sleep in and maybe some breakfast in bed. Of course breakfast in bed with all of us. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

      • easyweimaraner

        01/12/2015 at 8:39 am

        well that would be a cool idea….and it would be the stuff for a movie…. and much better than a boring breakfast at tiffanys :o)

      • PigLove

        01/12/2015 at 9:52 am

        But of course. I must speak with daddy about this. Perhaps we can all have dinner in bed tonight. That would definitely be fun! XOXO – Bacon

  5. Molly The Wally

    01/12/2015 at 10:21 am

    BOL that staff’s work is never over and tomorrow you start all over again…big sigh. Nice to be back. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 11:06 am

      Oh sweet Molly!! Squeals. I have missed you so very much! XOXO – Bacon

  6. Will and Eko

    01/12/2015 at 11:17 am

    Hotel Thompson? More like Thompson Farm.

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 11:26 am

      Snorts. This is true. Add in daddy. So very true. Double snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  7. speedyrabbit

    01/12/2015 at 12:32 pm

    Mum wakes up at 4 in the morning just so I get my morning cuddle before she has to get ready for work,then she puts me back and its time for breakfast,and on the non work days its 5 but the cuddle is for at least an hour instead of the half hour on work days,xx Speedy

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 12:49 pm

      I understand completely my friend. We do take our snuggle time seriously. Amen to that. XOXO – Bacon

  8. Miss Harper Lee

    01/12/2015 at 12:48 pm

    Well, Bacon, it seems as if your household has your mommy perfectly trained. Don’t you just love watching the humans wait on us? 😉

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 12:51 pm

      Yes I do beautiful. We have to keep her on schedule. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  9. Charles Huss

    01/12/2015 at 1:01 pm

    I’m a little surprised everyone doesn’t get up with the mom and want to eat. That is how it is at our house, but we just have cats.

    • PigLove

      01/12/2015 at 1:04 pm

      Oh no. We all take turns and know the order. We all want moms snuggles but yet we want to go back to sleep afterwards tol. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  10. katsrus

    01/12/2015 at 6:52 pm

    That sounds wonderful. My kitties are up at the butt crack of dawn. I am never fast enough for them. Cashew who I lovingly call foghorn gets louder and louder especially if you stop for a bathroom break. LOL.
    Sue B

    • PigLove

      01/13/2015 at 9:14 am

      Snorts. There is a reason for that my friend. I am sure assignments were given out the night before by fellow anipals. XOXO – Bacon

  11. Marty the Manx

    01/13/2015 at 9:03 am

    That is quite a routine that you have and it seems you have it down pat!

    • PigLove

      01/13/2015 at 9:19 am

      We really so try to maintain a schedule here. That adds to the fun. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  12. gentlestitches

    01/14/2015 at 12:14 am

    Breakfast at Bacon’s house sounds like a lot of fun!

    • PigLove

      01/14/2015 at 9:22 am

      Oh most certainly it is Auntie Sharon. XOXO – Bacon


This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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