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Dear Canadian Cat – Special Edition

23 Sep

September we are highlighting some of my friends who volunteered to help me out with my Dear Bacon issue. Today’s special edition is by my friends Kali and Shoko.  If you don’t know Kali and Shoko , you *must* go visit them and check them out on their blog The Canadian Cats.  Tell them that Bacon sent you.  Now, on to some great advice to help out our fellow anipals.

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Dear Canadian Cats,
Oh dear furry kitty heavens. What has been seen can not be unseen. I saw my humans naked…without a stitch of clothing. Why would they do that? Can you explain that to me? Signed Scarred for Life

Dear Scarred,
Land sakes alive.  The horror, the horror!  I hope the picture you sent is of you and you’re not a kit.  If, you were a kit, you’d need extensive therapy immediately.  As to why they would wander around without their coverings….who knows.  Hoomins are not known for their bashfulness.  Perhaps they were airing out their private parts like we do.  You would think they would lay down and stick their feet in the air if that were the case.  They could have been headed to the watering closet…they take their coverings off for this.  Very curious that they put on stinky coverings after getting clean.  I’m sure they weren’t trying to scare you though.  They just don’t realize how repulsive there bodies are to us.  I suggest in the future, you cover your eyes with your paws and RUN at the first glimpse of their naked bodies..  This is not safe but if you run into a wall your problem is solved.  When you come to you’ll wonder if all this was just a nightmare.  Good luck my friend.

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Dear Canadian Cats,
Water is the root of all evils my friends. Cats don’t need baths. We bathe ourselves. Why do the humans insist on dunking us – it’s like they want to baptist us. I don’t get it. Signed Walks on Water

Dear Walks on Water,
Water can be terrifying…especially when its not our idea to be anywhere near it.  Yikes!  I have a theory about hoomins sniffability and our own sensitive sniffer.  They are totally different.  When I am smelling beautiful and allow mom to get a whiff of my exciting scent…she says I stink.  How rude!!I’ll bet she wouldn’t like it if I took a sniff of her and ran away.  Wait!  I do that now.

Walks on, tell your mom how you feel and suggest dry shampoo. Your mom just brushes it in your fur and you’re good to go.  If, she still insists on baptizing you…then baptize her back again with lots of water.

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Dear Canadian Cats,
Trust me my friends. Never play in the kitchen when the humans are doing what they call cooking. The dropped a cup of something on me. Now I look like Casper. Help. Signed Cat Ghost

Dear Cat Ghost,
Hahaha….you look funny!  Lighten up Cat Ghost.  You still are cute as a button.  Let’s take a bad situation and turn it around.  This is the time to go “trick or treating”.  You’ll clean up….so to speak.

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Dear Canadian Cats,
Meow. What do I do for fun around the house? I strut around holding the dog treats in my mouth What? I look at it as helping the barky things out with their diet. Yeah. That’s it. Meow. Signed Dog Whisperer

Dear Dog Whisperer,
I like your style.  Up front and in everybody’s face.  My kind of friend.    However, the constant exposure of dog treats is positive reinforcement to your hoomin to get more treats for the dog not you.  This is not what you were aiming for.  So take those puporoni and stash them where no one will find them.  Grab a bag of your favourite treats and walk around the house.  It’s basic psychology my friend.  Now, get ready for lots of treats to come your way!

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Dear Canadian Cats,
Who says us kitties don’t get even. This will teach that dog to mess with me again. Don’t worry. I didn’t cut him. But I did take this picture to threaten him on future escapades. What do you think? Signed Corleone Cat

Dear Corleone Cat,
I’d say you made him an “offer he can’t refuse.”  Look at his eyes CC.  Anyone can tell, he’s learned his lesson well.  So, leave the knife and take his treats.  Put the knife somewhere handy though and let him know he’s padding a thin line.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to send your letters and questions to me here at the Hotel Thompson at baconthompson@gmail.com

 
24 Comments

Posted by on 09/23/2014 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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24 responses to “Dear Canadian Cat – Special Edition

  1. wallaceandsamuel

    09/23/2014 at 1:10 am

    Such meows of wisdom and sanity! HIGH FIVE PAWS all round!
    Wally & Sammy
    PeeS: that last cat needs to be sent for “observation” … just sayin’

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 8:38 am

      I think you may be right my friend. Excellent work to the kitties for helping us out this week. XOXO – Bacon

       
  2. sunsetdragon

    09/23/2014 at 1:53 am

    Oh my that poor kitty seeing his humans naked. I went into the bathroom one time and saw my human naked getting out of the shower. Scared me so bad I have not been back in to drink out of the toilet in months.

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 8:47 am

      I’m with you on this. I saw my daddy once. Shocked me for several weeks. eeww – humans are strange. XOXO – Bacon

       
  3. dezizworld

    09/23/2014 at 3:22 am

    Gweat advice Shoko and Kali. Luved it.

    Luv ya’

    Dezi

     
  4. Molly The Wally

    09/23/2014 at 4:19 am

    Pawsome job CC. Yikes naked humans, dreaded water and a knife. Crikey I might have night-squirrels tonight. Have a terrific Tuesday.
    Best wishes Molly

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 8:48 am

      Snorts. Yeah, these were some great letters this week for sure. Thanks out to Canadian Cats for helping me out. Awesome work! XOXO – Bacon

       
  5. easyweimaraner

    09/23/2014 at 4:35 am

    I agree water is the root of all evil…. it’s always “smoke on the water” lol… hahahaha an offer he can’t refuse… Corleone Cat is straight, no ifs not buts :o)

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 8:49 am

      Snorts! Smoke on the water – I ❤ that. So very true. Double snorts. Corleone Cat is straight up crazy. XOXO – Bacon

       
  6. onespoiledcat

    09/23/2014 at 7:21 am

    My goodness Shoko and Kali – you Canadian kitties know how to pass out the advice!!! Well done!!!!!

    Hugs, Sammy

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 8:51 am

      Awesome job to those kitties for sure! XOXO – Bacon

       
  7. Reilly & Denny

    09/23/2014 at 9:42 am

    those are some wise cats ad they give great advice

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 10:58 am

      Yes they really did. Awesome job! XOXO – Bacon

       
  8. hutchagoodlife

    09/23/2014 at 10:08 am

    These always makes us laugh!

    xxxx

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 11:01 am

      These have been awesome – great work Canadian Cats! XOXO – Bacon

       
  9. Miss Harper Lee

    09/23/2014 at 11:54 am

    So cute, and so happy that Dog Whisperer tease doesn’t live at my house. 😉

     
    • PigLove

      09/23/2014 at 12:36 pm

      Isn’t that the truth beautiful! XOXO – Bacon

       
  10. The Canadian Cats

    09/23/2014 at 12:37 pm

    Reblogged this on The Canadian Cats and commented:
    Bacon of Piglove asked us to be a visiting advice columnist. We were happy to give our friend a hand.

     
  11. easyweimaraner

    09/23/2014 at 12:55 pm

    well done Kali&Shoko!!!!!

     
  12. fozziemum

    09/23/2014 at 9:46 pm

    Bwahaahha fab help guys fab ! loves Fozziemum xxx

     
  13. gentlestitches

    09/24/2014 at 4:31 am

    Great job!

     
  14. Marty the Manx

    09/24/2014 at 7:43 pm

    Great job Canadian Cats!!!!!

     
  15. Nylabluesmum

    09/29/2014 at 6:49 pm

    Heelareeuss advice n we lubz da “Pupparoni Kitteh” best!!!
    Well dun Shoko n Kali 🙂
    Nylablue n Mum too x0x0x0

     
    • PigLove

      09/30/2014 at 9:16 am

      They did do an awesome job didn’t they my love? XOXO – Bacon

       

This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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