My mom and dad – shakes piggy head. Sometimes they act five – yep I said that out loud. It’s the truth. I can’t believe I let them leave the Hotel Thompson together to venture out and get in trouble. I will never learn. But I have to admit, the trouble this time happened once they got back to the Hotel Thompson.
You see, they out for dinner last night. Nothing wrong with that. They went to one of their favorite spots and were greeted from the owners with, “Hey, that’s Bacon’s parents”. Snorts – I ❤ how they have no identity anymore. They talked to the owners, ate dinner and left. Upon leaving, they go through the same routine with each other. I’m sure you know the one. It goes something like this with dad asking, “Hey, you need to go potty? It’s a long ride home.” Followed by mom saying, “No, I’m good.” Famous last words huh?
So they get into Albert, mom’s little Smart car, for the ride home. About mid way home, mom can be seen behind the wheel starting the dance. Oh you know what I’m talking about. The pee-pee dance. The one where it hits you from out of the blue with such a wham and you start shifting and moving around – thus called the pee-pee dance – logical thinking is that the ‘dance’ will stop the rush. Yeah right – it never does. This is when Albert pumps up the volume and makes the hamsters in the engine go faster and tries to get through all of the green lights while you pray to the Gods above that you can ‘hold it’. All the time, daddy is sitting in the passenger seat doing the, “I asked you if you needed to go” repeat statement. Yeah thanks dad, that makes every thing seem so much better.
Then daddy goes to the next step to
irritate make mom feel better in her circumstance. He starts telling mom some of the following statements, “That wine sure tasted good huh?” or “Don’t think of running water.” or “Are you ready to go to the ocean?” See, daddy’s silly or should I say dumb like that. All the time he is saying these things, mom keeps cutting him the eye.
So they finally pull up at the Hotel Thompson. Mommy is now to the point of struggling. Raise your hands my friends if you have seen your humans at this point. Rocking back and forth on their legs, twining their legs together doing the two step, wobbling at the door and trying to put the key into the key hole that at this point looks as big as an eye on a needle – all trying to “hold” it. Snorts – I told you before that humans are weird.
By this time, I’m on the other side of the door and I can hear mom trying to come in. So I do what I do best. I get excited and start squealing. What? It’s what I do – snorts. Mom finally gets the door open but yet she can’t step into the Hotel Thompson. Why? Because she really, REALLY has to go now. If she moves, well you know what will happen.
So she stands there. I stand there looking at her like, “Hey wazzup mom?” Then I jumped on her. Not good. Not good at all in her situation – snorts. Then she walks in the Hotel Thompson like she’s a mummy not a mommy. It looks as if there are invisible bands keeping her knees together and she seems to be walking on her tippy toes. Now my friends – that is a visual. She does this magnificent two step down the hall to the powder room. I go to the door to listen.
So you see my friends, mom and dad don’t have to really leave the Hotel Thompson to get into trouble. They do just fine here at home – snorts. And who wants to admit that the next time they see their parents in distress over ‘holding’ it and going to the bathroom, that you will think of my poor pitiful mummy – I mean mommy 🙂