For Your Amusement – Let’s Snort

Every once in a while, we need a good snort.  Something deep.  Something loud.  Something that almost makes you wet your pants – snorts.  So, for this afternoon’s amusement I thought I would share with you some jokes.  Not just any jokes but PIGGY jokes.  You gotta love that, right?  What else did you expect?  I am a happening oinker.  So buckle up, put your drinks down and read the following humorous jokes submitted to me by some fellow piggy lovers.  Hope you enjoy my friends.  Have a piggy good ole day!

• MOTHER PIG:  What did you learn in school today?
• FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
• SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink!  
• THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof!
• MOTHER PIG: What?
• THIRD PIGLET: I’m taking a foreign language.

• FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
• SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

• What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur? – A porkasaurus rex!

• What happened to the pig who lost its voice? – It became disgruntled!

• Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read? – “Porks Illustrated!”

 

Potential Car-Jacking! – UPDATED

Poor mom.  She got up this morning and left for work in Albert – her little Smart car – just like she does every morning.  No biggie.  That’s when it happened – always when you are least expecting it.  She saw it out of the corner of her eye.  It was kind of like a… as she said quote “Aww crappers” moment.

She saw him standing in the neighbors yard at first.  She’s seen him in the neighborhood and has been wary of him.  He is bad news.  He’s one of those tough edgy kind of guys who leads gangs.  Shivers – that’s all I could do when I was listening to mom talk about him.  She actually told daddy he was a “little thug”.  I don’t know what that means but it can’t be good.  Daddy got hot about that.

She was just minding her own business and that’s when he came at her from the passenger side.  She quickly locked the doors to Albert and floored it.  It’s not a bad neighborhood but this little thug was actually chasing her down the street.  God only knows what he would do if he caught mommy.  Squeal – can you believe that – in broad daylight this idiot was trying to carjack my mom?  Was he serious?!

All she could think of was going fast – gotta go fast – gotta outrun this thug.  I want you to know, she barely made it out of the neighborhood.  I mean heck, if he would have caught her what would he have done?  Flipped her off – literally?  She did snag a picture of the little punk – here it is:

I hope you can see the little thug now my friends.  Sometimes I seem to be all hooves when I’m blogging something.  Mom got away just fine.  This guy here must be the leader – he was the biggest one of the clan – snorts.  Thanks for your concerns – I hope I didn’t alarm anyone.  Much love – hogs and snout kisses – Bacon