Oh No You Don’t Daddy!

So early last week, mom and dad went to bed, turned on their television to watch the news and got all comfortable.  Hemi, as you can see in this picture, likes to sit front and center and swat at the news people.  See, it’s not just me that purr thing swats – snorts.  Mom sets the timer on the television and those humans of mine usually drift off to sleep land express before the television turns off.  But the other night, the television went off early.  Mom assumed that since Hemi was near the remote control, he probably hit the button and turned it off.  No problems.

So mom gets up the next morning to watch the news while getting ready for the worky place and guess what?  The flat screen won’t come on.  What?  That’s not good.  So my mom, who is NOT electronically inclined might I add, checks everything – all plugs, resets the television and hits the button again.  Nothing.  Now she fusses a bit and I’m sitting on the bed watching her.  Daddy wakes up from his slumber like a bear waking up from hibernation and asks whats going on and why am I on his bed.  I gave him a stink eye look just like mommy did – snorts.

Mom explains to him what happened.  Then daddy did something so stupid that I started snorting almost rolling off the bed.  He asks mommy, “Did you check the plug in?”  Pardon me dad, let me help you put that size 10 foot right into your mouth because mom is going to get you so good.  And trust me, putting your foot into your own mouth is NOT going to be as easy as you were a child.  Nope.  Not at all.  Trust me on that one.

After mom so politely told him where to shove his comment, mom told him she had checked all of the plugs.  She might have put in a “DOH” somewhere in there but I don’t think he heard her – snorts.  Then dad said the most outrageous thing.  He said, “Well, I guess it’s broken then.”  WOW daddy, you think?  Rolls piggy eyes.

And then when you thought that daddy couldn’t say anything more incredibly stupid, he did.  He said, “Well I guess we will have to take Bacon’s flat screen from his bedroom”.  Whatchu talking about daddy?!  I don’t think so.  You can back away from my flat screen this minute.  Nope. Not going to happen.  Not in a New York piggy minute.  That’s my television.  I jumped up on the bed and got in my fierce mowhawk stance and gave him the best stink eye look I could muster.

Mommy looked at me.  I looked at mommy.  Daddy looked at me.  I looked at daddy.  Then mommy looked at daddy and said, “If you are brave enough to take Bacon’s television, you go right ahead”.  Then there was silence while daddy was thinking.  I know he was thinking.  I could see smoke coming out of his ears – snorts.  I know he was calculating how he could do it without me getting him.  Don’t let this cute adorable face fool you.  I can protect what’s mine – like my television.  Okay.  I might have squealed a little too to enforce I meant business.

Dad finally said, “I think we have another one in the work out room, don’t we?”  That’s right daddy.  Ninja Pig Bacon wins.  You move right along to the work out room and get that television.

Pardon me now my friends.  Green Acres is playing on my television in my bedroom.  I need to go watch it.  Did I mention it was my television?  Snorts.