Daddy Was Kung Fu Fighting

 Oh dear – snorts.  I think Auntie Sharon created a monster here at the Hotel Thompson.  Mommy went to bed early last night.  She said she was ‘drained’.  I’m not sure what that means to her but to me it meant short snuggle piggy time.  I was left to the devices of daddy.  Joy.  Great.  I’m excited.  Really.  Snorts.

So there we were in the living room – just me and dad.  Even the purr things wimped out and went to bed early.  Dad looked at me and I looked at him.  He then looked at our curio cabinet.  I snorted to tell daddy no and not to think about it.  But we know my daddy.  He doesn’t listen to me.  This is not going to end well my friends.  He took out the Japanese headband from the cabinet that Auntie Sharon sent back with Bashful.

This is not good.  I’m trying to use all of the piggy telepathy I could to muster to speak to him mind to mind.  Don’t do it daddy.  Put it back.  You will get into trouble.  But of course, he doesn’t listen to me and we are one mind short – snorts.  Then he does the dumbest thing.  He looks right at me and says, “This won’t hurt anything and mommy doesn’t have to know”.  Rolls piggy eyes.  Has he not learned *anything* in 26 years with this woman?  She KNOWS EVERYTHING.

He put on the headband.  Idiot.  I swear that is what this man’s middle name.  In fact, I think if you look up stupid in the dictionary, his picture dressed just like this will be there – wearing his Angry Birds shirt and everything.  I snort at him and do you know the man had the audacity to snort back at me?

He walked over to our stereo equipment.  I was like what is the idiot doing now?  I can’t start to explain this silly grin that overcame his face.  He was like, “We have to have some theme music”.  I’m like what?  Highway to Hell? cause that is definitely the direction you are headed with the headband.  Or perhaps it is Another One Bites the Dust because you will be if mommy catches you.  He started to play the music and that’s when I really rolled my eyes, jumped on the couch I normally sit on and waited for the show waiting with my camera.

Oh dear piggy heavens.  Tell me the man is not reinventing Kung Fu Fighting.  Listen old man, Do NOT – you hear me now – DO NOT give up your daytime gig.  What do you call this position?  Crouching Daddy Stupid Stance?  This is not going to end well.  You do realize that, right?

There he was dancing and singing along to his song.  What he didn’t realize was that he woke up mommy.  And guess who was in the hallway watching this performance of a lifetime?  Yep, mommy.   When he turned in his dance and saw her in the hallway, let’s just say that Crouching Daddy Stupid Stance went down fast on the floor.  Guess that headband couldn’t save you then huh daddy dearest?