Oh Dear – My Parents Are At It Again!

Let me start by saying that this posting has LOTS of food in it with pictures.  You know my mom and dad – they are professional eaters.  They get into trouble every possible way.  They called a field trip this past weekend.  They jumped in Albert, mom’s Smart car and off they went.  There is a restaurant about 30 minutes away called The Vortex Bar and Grill in an area called Little Five Points.   They say it’s awesome.  First off, it’s a bar and most of the workers have tattoos and no one under the age of 18 can come into the restaurant.  I guess that leaves me out since I’m just over two – snorts.

 This is daddy posing outside of the entrance to the location.  I know I’ve talked about this restaurant before but I’m not sure if I’ve posted pictures of the awesome food – which mom and dad say is awesome…. shuffles hooves… I wouldn’t know because someone didn’t bring me home a piggy bag.

Like I was saying, the front of the building near the entrance has the huge skull that you walk through.  Scary looking huh?  You can see the name of the restaurant on the side to the right of dad’s head.  NOTE: Someone told mommy that it looks like daddy has rabbit ears over his head from the jaw line of the skull.  Snorts – I think it does too.  You?

The day that mom/dad went, there was no line.  Usually the line is out the door.  Inside of the location, it’s dark and cozy.  Mom and dad say the inside is rather small so the tables are tight.  You make friends really quick – snorts.

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 They started off with a Mighty Meaty Chili.  This is how the menu describes the chili – menu wording not mine – just remember that :

“Made with ground sirloin, chipotle & habanero peppers and a secret combination of seasonings but no beans ’cause it’s MEATY.  It’s definitely got some heat to it so please don’t order if you’re a big pussy”

Yep, that’s what it says.  The picture to the left is of the cornbread that comes with the chili.  Daddy says you really needed that because the chili was H.H.O.O.T.T.  Thank goodness mom and dad split a bowl – snorts.

Mom and dad followed the spicy chili up with an appetizer of Cheddar Balls O’Glory.  That’s what I’m talking about – cheese balls.  Licks piggy lips.  And of course, I’m going to tell you the wording off the menu… why?  Because it’s so interesting 🙂

“A plate full of beer-battered, deep fried balls of cheddar cheese, served with jalapeno ranch dressing.  These are by far the tastiest balls you’ll ever put in your mouth.  You know you want some, so just bite our cheesy balls”.

Now with all of this wonderful food so far, you know the main meals have to be out of this world!  And yeah, mom and dad wanted to sample a lot.

Dad ordered what they called a Meat Packer Melt –

“A sirloin patty topped with sliced turkey, ham, American, Swiss and cheddar cheese all griddled together on swirled rye bread.  This is the best patty melt you have ever put in your mouth.”

Dad says this was the bomb!  It was deliciously served with tater tots – one of his favorites.  The last time he came here, he ordered the Double Coronary Bypass and trust me – he almost had one!  He had plenty of leftovers that time.  This is what it is:

“One big half pound sirloin patty topped with two fried eggs, six slices of American cheese and eight slices of bacon served between two grilled cheese sandwiches that we use in place of the regular hamburger buns.”  

And mom, we can’t leave mommy out.  She went grandstand too.  She got the Cubano De Libertad.

“A fresh baked roll filled with slow roasted pork, ham, Swiss cheese, sliced pickles and spicy mustard grilled flat and drenched in Mojo sauce.”

Okay – let me add that this little oinker was not harmed in the making of mom’s lunch.  See, that’s how she does me.  She runs off and eats pork.  Shakes my piggy head. At least she didn’t order the sandwich they call, “Three Little Pigs”… I don’t even want to know what’s on that one – Snorts.

So, that’s my wild humans.  If you want to see more of the menu, look here at Vortex.  It is by far great reading, mouth watering and delicious sounding.  You gotta check it out if you get a chance.  Happy Eats!