My Mommy – PLOL (Piggy Laughing Out Loud)

My human mommy – she kills me!  This is too funny.  This is a TRUE story that really happened to my mommy at the worky place.  She came home and told me and daddy about it last night.  When I tell you that we were all rolling around laughing – OMP (oh my pig!)  It was too rich and too funny.  Only *my* mommy could do something so hilarious.

You see every day when mommy goes to the worky place 80% of her work is typing, typing and more typing.  She types over 100 words per minute.  (I can type 25 hooves per minute – you can tell where I get it from – snorts).  The other 20% of her job is calculating monthly STATs, price/weight conversions and financial matters.

Yesterday she was typing an evaluation and the sentence was suppose to read as follows:

The perpetrator observed the clock.

She finished typing up the paper and turned it in to the designated person.  That’s when they caught it and started snorting at work.  Mommy forgot the L in CLOCK.

Snorts.  Trust me, the men mommy work with will NOT let her forget this.  Just goes to show you – no ones perfect by any means.

 

Bashful stands by…

The surprise is revealed – SQUEAL!! Can you believe where my little pet rock Bashful is going?! I don’t know who was more excited with this information – me, Bashful, mom/dad or Auntie Sharon. Have fun ya’ll! XOXO – Bacon

 

I Can Spell Daddy

  Poor daddy.  Maybe he needs some lessons in spelling – snorts.  I’m not sure but as usual I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let me back up just a bit my friends.

This past weekend, my mom and dad went out unchaperoned again.  Sigh – you know this means trouble somehow someway – snorts.  It was early in the morning and when they came back they were groaning about being full.  Mom said she ate too much and dad was heading for the Mylanta.  Glutinous I’m telling you.  I mean *I* would never overeat… double snorts.  I don’t know where they get that from.

Later in the day, daddy was talking to mommy and he started spelling.  At first, I was like that’s great daddy.  You are really coming along with those big words.  Then I realized what he was spelling and I was like wait a minute.  He kept at it though, talking to mommy and spelling B-A-C-O-N.  Why was he spelling my name?

It didn’t make sense to me to spell out my name, rub their bellies and talk about how good it was.  This piggy was terribly confused during the conversation.  And then dad asked mommy if she took the picture and she said yes.  So then I just knew there had to be a picture of something on mom’s cell phone.  Then mommy mentioned my cousin Sammy  and how he has B-A-C-O-N every Saturday.  With this, I just *knew* something was up.

I mean Sammy eats bacon every Saturday and then it dawned on me.  They were eating P.I.G.  Gulp – that’s why daddy was spelling.  This can’t be good.  I mean daddy was like overjoyed about how something tasted so wonderful that morning.  What in the heck could it be coming from a P.I.G. that tasted good?  I couldn’t imagine… cause you know Hemi has bitten me before and then spit because I didn’t taste good.  So this little oinker had a mission to get ahold of mom’s cell phone when she wasn’t looking.

After she went to take a nap, I pignapped that cell phone and started reviewing pictures.  OMP (oh my pig!)  My eyes!  What has been seen can not be unseen now.  The horror of seeing this B-A-C-O-N that dad kept spelling out.  Not only was it pig but it was FRIED.  Thud – piggy down.  We are in the south and I know we fry everything but really people – bacon?!  I don’t know if I should be afraid for my life now here at the Hotel Thompson or slightly intrigued as to the taste – shivers.  Help me out friends.  Here is the evidence.