Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

I’m disgraced.  My humans find this ‘amusing’.  I find it humiliating.  While they were celebrating the big turkey day of Thanksgiving, I was the walking entertainment for family and friends.  Does it look as bad as it feels?  Signed Pugmiliated

Dear Pugmiliated,

Um, um, well, no it doesn’t look that bad my friend.  Not really.  You could turn the tables and go with it.  If your humans are going to ‘dress’ you up like turkey, maybe ask for some turkey in return?  And really, it does kind of blend in with your skin color.  You can hardly notice it!

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Dear Bacon,

You know it is that time of the year – it’s cold outside.  I don’t think many of us will be wearing shorts.  I was looking at my legs yesterday when I was bathing.  Do you think I can go the entire winter without shaving?  I won’t be wearing any dresses and I’ll be sleeping a lot this winter.  Signed Ms. Bearable

Dear Ms. Bearable,

I say do what makes you feel good.  It is winter and no one sees legs in the winter.  In fact, I’ll tell you a secret.  I heard my mommy talking about this just yesterday to daddy.  I think a lot of ladies feel the same way.  And heck, you’re going to be sleeping.  You might need that winter coat to keep you warm.

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Dear Bacon,

I want to tell you a secret.  Sometimes when no one is looking, I will put this cone on my head and pretend I’m an unicorn.  So-so pretty!  Don’t you think?  Signed Pretender

Dear Pretender,

Hey, I’m not casting a stone.  Sometimes when no one is looking, I like to put my king sized Egyptian cotton sheet on me and run around the house oinking BOO at everyone.  No judgements my friend.

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Dear Bacon,

Sometimes the humans think that they have *us* trained.  What they don’t realize is that *we* have THEM trained.  I personally like to take my human to play fetch a lot.  Hey, I’m trying to help them lose some of that holiday weight.  But when we are out and they are talking to their friends like they are exercising us, I just have to stick my tongue out at them.  Is this bad of me?  Signed Jazzercise

Dear Jazzercise,

Hey, as long as the humans don’t see it, what harm is in it?  I tell my humans that I get plenty of exercise.  It’s a long walk between my room and the kitchen at the Hotel Thompson.

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 Dear Bacon,

The wife – she left me on Black Friday to do this thing the humans call shopping.  If that wasn’t bad enough, she left me with all of the kids too.  Here I am trying to watch all of the football games and they are under my feet as usual.  Should I be mad that she left me to get out of the house?  Signed Kitty Football

Dear Kitty Football,
Hey, it looks like you have everything under control there my friend.  All of your bundles are with you – they look comfy and satisfied.  You had the situation under control.  Nah, don’t be mad.  A woman needs some time alone out of the house by herself.  Way to go super dad!

Remember my friends, keep your questions and pictures coming. Send them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com